Science fiction, fantasy, mystery and what-not
Shufflefloof (floofinition) – 1. Activity where a person moves one pet or animal only to have another one engage them. 2. Game with a complex points system where pets take whatever place a human or other pet vacated. Higher points are given if the points are from an animal different from themselves.
In use: “Classic games of shufflefloot are constantly being shared on social media, such as the one about the cat, Dylan, who keeps stealing a woman’s spot whenever she moves.”
Floofhop (floofinition) – One-legged hopping movement people employ after stepping on a floofberry or floofack.
In use: “Walking barefoot through the dark, Michael felt a cold squish under his toes and instantly began the floofhop.”
Today’s song popped out of nowhere into my stream, nowhere being an easy reference to the interior realms of the space where my little gray brain cells huddle for warmth. But overhearing the women across the coffee shop talking (powerful stage voices), the song is appropriate.
“Changes” by David Bowie (1972) was already nestled in my cerebellum when I sat down but I wasn’t sure if it was today’s music. Then I heard the women talking.
First, they mentioned streaming services. They were comparing Netflix and Amazon Prime (or Prime Video), and how they share and release shows and movies on their sights. Talking about Amazon Prime prompted one to mention the free two-day shipping on many items, and the associated guarantees. A joke about getting stuff faster so you would order more faster emerged. Memories about ordering stuff in the old days and getting it six to eight weeks followed. It usually came by mail, too. UPS and Fed Ex trucks weren’t rushing around every where in those days.
Then they talked about catalogs. Spiegel’s. Sears. Montgomery Wards. Ah, yes, they’d ordered from all of them, and had fond memories of ordering from the Spiegel’s calendar. (I’ve ordered from them all, too, especially when I lived outside of the U.S. in the 1970s.) The women then recollected tales of the outhouse where the Sears catalog sometimes ended up, as those thin pages worked well to clean up after your business.
Last, they recalled S&H Green Stamps and using a sponge to paste pages at a time.
Yep, “Changes” is appropriate for today, from the weather and the seasons, to the music and the times, and how long it takes for your order to arrive.
I decided to use this Youtube offering of “Changes” because of Bowie’s photo. Look at the lad. Ah, changes.
Yeah, here we go, a first-world rant.
I’m in ‘my’ coffee shop this morning. It’s about fifty degrees and sunny outside. In here, they have the air-conditioning running. Whaaat? But worse, they’re playing Christmas lullabies. You know what I mean. A Christmas lullaby is one of those old chestnuts being played at a slooow, mellooow speeed, so slow that the singer sounds like they’re on the verge of going to sleep themselves.
I think, the madness, technology, calendar, holidays, and expectations clashing. Oh, the horror, the horror.
Remember, only two million years till Christmas. Make it count.
Firmafloof (floofinition) – The areas that hold animals’ attention, particularly housepets.
In use: “The dog never seemed to look up at the sky on their walks, keeping his nose to the ground, which was his firmafloof. That was one eighty to the cats back home, whose firmafloof was the sky filled with sparrows and wrens, butterflies and hummingbirds.”
Floofment (floofinition) – Window sill, ledge, location, or casement where animals like to rest and watch the world.
In use: “Each new resident animal discovered the delights of settling on the back of Evan’s sofa in front of the living room bay window. It was the perfect floofment to watch squirrels, birds, people, and other animals going by.”
Floofmuda Triangle (floofinition) – A triangular area created by three animals into which things seem to mysteriously disappear.
In use: “She sat down in her recliner to enjoy a snack and some Netflix. The dog and two cats immediately formed a floofmuda triangle. Anything dropped was going to disappear fast.”
Floofkeeping (floofinition) – 1. The occupation of owning and breeding animals. 2. The occupation of a floofkeeper.
In use: “Many people disliked floofkeepers, as breeding conditions led to deplorable puppy mills and too many kittens in cages desperate for homes.”
Floofway (floofinition) – 1. The manner in which an animal goes above doing something. 2. A corridor, hallway, path, or structure dedicated to helping animals safely travel.
In use: “The dog’s floofway required him to go out at dawn’s break regardless of the season, do his business in the backyard, and then find something to bring in as a gift to his people. Sometimes, it was a flower, leaf, or toy, but he’d also brought in towels, balls, sandals, and shoes.”
