Science fiction, fantasy, mystery and what-not
Floofeks (floofinition) – Race of mutant animals who are bent on destruction.
In use: “The puppy appeared quite normal, but within a few days, he’d destroyed a chair cushion, rolls of toilet paper, and shoes, revealing himself as a floofek. One could almost imagine hearing him repeat, “Destroy, destroy, destroy,” in a brainwashed monotone as he tore through the house.”
Floofsics (floofinition) – A branch of science that deals with matter and energy and their interactions with animals.
In use: “While humans observe physics, animals observe floofsics, often demonstrating that they don’t respond to the forces of nature, such as gravity, as humans do.”
photo courtesy of Facebook/Life with Cats
head feels like lead
you’re stuck in bed
blame it on the snow
blame it on the snow
you’re feeling low
and have nowhere to go
blame it on the snow
blame it on the snow
life is passing you by
counting days until you die
blame it on the snow
blame it on the snow
stuffing your face
with cheese and cake
blame it on the snow
blame it on the snow
can’t get to work
pet’s acting like a jerk
blame it on the snow
blame it on the snow
nothing’s on tv
not live or on the stream
blame it on the snow
blame it on the snow
can’t find a mate
being alone is your fate
blame it on the snow
blame it on the snow
you can’t tell a lie
you ate too much pie
blame it on the snow
blame it on the snow
it’s a day without sun
now you’ve got the runs
blame it on the snow
blame it on the snow
blame it on the snow
Floofnival (floofinition) – A period of revelry animals conduct at a regular time each year, typically involving processions, music, dancing, and the use of floofquerade.
In use: “Most housepets attempted to attend at least one floofnival a year, with most aspiring to reach Floof Henge for floofstice.”
Hellfloof (floofinition) – Animal who causes a great deal of mischief.
In use: “Many kittens and puppies seem like hellfloof but grow out of it as their personality emerges. Some, though, cultivate a gleam in their eye, and seem to search and find new and unusual trouble.”
Toilet-floof (floofinition) – Animal drawn toward toilets in a home, particularly when a human is using them.
In use: “Without fail, whenever Michael sat on the can, day or night, a toilet-floof appeared to verify what he was doing and try to get on his lap.”
Crumbs populated his keyboard, slipping between the keys, forcing him to ponder, what did I eat and when did I eat it?
That made him hungry. He attempted to pick some crumbs up for closer examination, and perhaps to taste — just for investigative reasons, of course (that one looked like it may have come off a chocolate-chip cookie) (when did he eat a chocolate chip cookie?) -but the crumbs fled his efforts like kittens scattering at a noise, undermining his investigative process.
It did promote a greater appetite (if he trusted the messages that his stomach was issuing). Nothing healthy was offered for sale here, and he didn’t want to leave to eat somewhere else. Therefore, his logic forced him into a less healthy choice, which turned out to be a raspberry scone.
It was just a one-time deal, he told himself, so it would do no lasting harm.
He blamed it on the crumbs.
Floofhouse (floofinition) – Location or home dedicated to providing a place of safety and companionship with and for animals.
In use: “Home to dozens of animals, many which were rescues, the small blue cottage on the corner up the hill became known as the floofhouse. It seemed like the sun was always shining there, giving many places for animals to play, doze, and groom.”
Floofdance (floofinition) – Dance conducted by animals, often to celebrate an event or in joyous response to the music that they hear.
In use: “Seeing snow for the first time, the gray kitten began a floofdance on the porch as the flakes floated down around him.”
Floofsient (floofinition) – An animal who stays in a place on a temporary basis or for a brief period.
In use: “People often bring animals in as floofsients, fostering, socializing, and protecting the animals as they heal. Sometimes the floofsients decide that they’ve found home, making it a foster fail.”
