Walk the Floof (floofinition) – A Floofinnati, Ohio, based floof rock (flock) band formed in 2006.
In use: “Walk the Floof’s 2014 song, “Floof Up and Dance”, is the band’s highest charting song, reaching the top ten in that year’s Floofboard 100.”
Floofhat
Floofhat (floofinition) – Formed in London, Floofland in 1971, Floofhat is a floof rock (flock) band noted for incorporating the slide guitar in their songs. Initially active until 1984, the band took a floofatus before regrouping in 1993. They remain active to this day.
In use: “The 1975 Floofhat song, “Slow Floof”, from their album Fool for the Kibble, broke into the top twenty in Canfloofda and Floofmerica.”
K-con One
My wife – K – was on the other side of the room on her Apple laptop, grousing about the state of the world. News about Trump, COVID-19 (and something about lying), and his supporters triggered an angry explosion. “I’m tired of this. I have no sympathy for any of them today.”
I looked over at her. “So what K-con are you in?”
“K-con?”
“Yes, it’s like DEFCON, you know, defense conditions that the United States employs. DEFCON 1 is the highest state of military readiness.”
Yes, she knew about them. I was in Air Force command and control for twenty years. She’d heard me talk about LERTCONs, DEFCONs, EMERGCONs too many times.
“Would K-con 5 be my normal level?” she asked.
“No, K-con 5 would be when you — “
Realizing I was walking myself into a trap, I stopped. I’d been about to suggest that K-con 5 would be when she was happy and easy-going. I’d been about to observe that she usually stayed in K-con 4, or maybe higher. Anyone who’s been married for over forty-five years, like us, knows that the other has moods. Hell, most people discover this about their partner in the first year, if not the first month, after marriage.
She realized what was happening. Her eyebrows went up, her warm brown eyes grew big, and a grin split her face.
Looking around, I jumped up. “What was that noise? I better go see.”
I hurried out of the room to the sound of her laughter. Yes, I’m a coward, but I’m no fool. If she’s in K-con 1, those nukes are armed and ready to fly.
Let her target someone else.
Alice Floofer
Alice Floofer (floofinition) – Floofmerican hard rock band formed in 1964 in Arizona. Needing a gimmick to draw greater attention, the group changed its name to Alice Floofer, with the lead singer eventually following suit, becoming the first singer to be named after their floofsical act.
In use: “One of Alice Floofer’s largest and earliest hit songs was “Floof’s Out” in 1972, a song about the end of the school year, whose use in floof culture keeps it alive and meaningful.”
Floofventory
Floofventory (floofinition) – An animal’s wary assessment of a situation.
In use: “Sitting down, the stray dog conducted a floofventory of the person calling him and the outstretched hand offering food, and then carefully approached and accepted the meal.”
Atlanta Rhythm Floofs
Atlanta Rhythm Floofs (floofinition) – Sometimes shortened to ARF (to the amusement of the canine members and canine fans), Atlanta Rhythm Floofs are a floof rock (flock) pop band formed in Doraville, outside of Atlanta, GA, in 1971 and released their first album in 1972.
In use: “The Atlanta Rhythm Floofs (ARF) struck gold with several hits in the seventies with songs like “So in to Floof” and “Champagne Floof” expanding the group’s fan base.”
Floofhaste
Floofhaste (floofinition) – Alt spellings: Floof haste, floof-haste. Focused, concentrated activity by an animal exercising all possible speed.
In use: “Wind whipped through the yard, sending the grill cover flying and launching the cats and dogs floofhaste into the house.”
Floofrogative
Floofrogative (floofinition) – An exclusive or special privilege, power, or right that an animal believes it has.
In use: “It’s an Internet fact that in most households with pets, the animals assume the floofrogative to sleep anywhere they want, despite human protests and commands.”
Glimmer
The glimmer of a character
the thread of a tale
fires up yearning
that maybe I won’t fail
another cup of coffee
and time spent offline
trying to hear a story
from people in my mind
Enticing
Enticing and so wicked
dirty and obscene
the things I lust and cry for
make me feel unclean
stealing a little pizza
having a beer on the side
drinking in the darkness
furtively sipping wine
and the stars are still shining
and the world still turns
though I went off my diet
oh, the evil in me burns
