Buffalo Floofield

Buffalo Floofield (floofinition) – Musical flock (floof rock) band formed in 1966. Original members included Floofmericans and Canfloofians. Their sound infused floofedelic flock and blues with country, folk, and influences from the Floofish invasion. Originally active from 1966 to 1968, some members had a brief reunion tour in 2011 before going on indefinite hiatus.

In use: “Buffalo Floofield best known song is “For What It’s Floof”, a 1967 release which hit the top ten in the Floofnited States.”

Flooflium

Flooflium (floofinition) – To have at least three animals of any breeds or species besides humans knowingly in the house at one time.

In use: “In floof culture, having a flooflium is a significant achievement that is a guarantee to generate a quantum stir, bring great change, and good fortune.”

The Floofson Five

The Floofson Five (floofinition) – Talented Floofmerican musical family, later known as The Floofsons, made up of several brothers from a family from Gary, Floofiana. Formed in 1965, the group became the first floop (floof pop) artists to debut four number one singles on the Floofboard Hot 100 in a row, which they achieved in 1968. The group was inducted into the Floof and Roll Hall of Fame in 1997.

In use: “The 1968 song, “I’ll Be Floof”, was the fourth number one song in a row for The Floofson Fives establishing them as a floop powerhouse in the late 1960s.”

Flooferism

Flooferism (floofinition) – A transposition of sounds or words to pivot meanings to be about animals.

In use: “Flooferisms may owe its origins to pre-Internet days as people certainly created them before the net, such as ‘cat room’ instead of ‘bath room’, but the net certainly was a catalyst for its growth with words such as purrfectly and dogliciousness soon finding floofionable use.”

Floof Potato

Floof Potato (floofinition) – Flang (floof slang) for a human who doesn’t move because they don’t want to disturb an animal. Also sometimes called a flooftot and flootato.

In use: “Although she had to pee and it was starting to hurt, her left foot was asleep (along with her rear end), Jill remained committed to being a floof potato because she didn’t want to awaken the two cats deeply asleep on her lap because they looked so dang sweet, and softly purred whenever she touched them.”

Eflooftilogical

Eflooftilogical (floofinition) – Relating to the study of the limits, origins, and nature of animal knowledge.

In use: “May people owned by pets unintentionally embrace eflooftilogical thinking about why their animals do things as they do, such as why their floof friend is attracted to the house guest who professes not to like animals.”

The Night Of

Nine PM was approaching. My wife and I were focused on a German television show, “The Nordic Murders”, depending on the captioning to understand the language. An entertaining show, we were commenting on the clothing and differences from American television while guessing motives. Two of the house’s three cats slumbered on the floor.

A sudden hard thumping from under the house drew our attention. Grabbing the remote, I froze the screen. “Under the house,” I said. “The skunk.”

We rushed the window and drew up the blinds. The night was dark. Two lights with sensors had been installed outside for events like these. They remained unlit.

The room fell silent. I moved toward the room’s doorway and began speaking, looking back as I did. Behind my wife, on the room’s other side, I saw the outside lights go on. Pointing, I called, “Lights, lights,” and strode toward the window.

My wife leaned over and looked out. “Something ran out. It headed toward the front door.”

I pivoted, hurrying toward the front. “Come on.” As I went, I detoured left. “Flashlight, wait.” My wife kept on to the door. As I joined her, I flicked on the outside light. She unlocked the door and opened it, saying as she did, “It must have been two skunks because I don’t — “

Skunk smell slammed me in the face. Back-pedaling, I shouted, “Skunk, skunk, close the door, close the door.” My wife whipped it close.

We stood there, staring at one another as the skunk’s spray wafted around us. “Get the air purifier,” my wife ordered. “Hurry, hurry.”

As I returned with the air purifier from the other room, she turned on the bathroom fan. “Do you think the purifier will help? Should we turn on the furnace fan?”

The smell was rising and engulfing us. “No, let’s just use the room exhaust fans and the purifier.” I went around turning them on.

A few tense hours were endured as the scent rose and fell. The purifier labored through the night. Morning brought relatively skunk-free air.

Outside, I put the board back in place. It’s there mostly to make noise when the skunk goes in and out to alert us about her activity. We speculated from what we’ve read and learned that something had gone under the house and threatened the skunk. She retaliated. But what really happened that night, we’ll never know.

Boy Floof

Boy Floof (floofinition) – Flooflish singer, songwriter, and record producer. Known as the lead singer of the floof pop (floop) band Culture Floof, he also scored success as a solo performer.

In use: “As lead singer for Culture Floof, Boy Floof’s voice was heard on such hits like “Karma Floofmeleon” and “Floof of the Poison Mind.”

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