Category: humor

Fourday’s Theme Music

Today is Thursday, commonly known as day four of the standard work week. Maybe that’s a used-to-be. Could be different in this 24/7 existence which supposedly rules the U.S. I say supposedly because there are many things not available 24/7. They claim it’s a 24/7 news cycle. We know that’s not true. Politicians and corporations love them a Friday dump because they know that news garners less attention.

I favor using Fourday in honor of Thursday’s tentative origins. Back when the days of the week were being conceptualized, many people wanted to name the days by their order. Weeks weren’t even involved in the first round of thought. Today would have been Nineday because it’s February 9. (2023, BTB). That was rightly criticized as not helpful. Imagine the conversation. “When do you want to get together?” “Nineday, February 9.” Doesn’t add much does it? That’s when the great thinker and philosopher, Whathehellus, stepped up and came up with the days we now use. Whathehellus is also famous for giving us the expression, “What the hell?” Why else do you think we use it?

48 F out in Ashlandia at the mo, cold air bleached warm by rousing sunshine. Solar light splashes in through windows throughout the house’s east and south sides, invoking delightful coziness. 56 F is due up as the high, according to the weather seers. No reason why that won’t be attained can be seen right now, but you know weather and clouds, don’t you? Weather and Clouds, once a proud Brit rock band, now just surfs the sky causes mischief. W&C, as some call them, had their most notable hit with “Shadowing Your Day”, back in the day.

Sol’s presence was noted at 7:15 this morning. Sol will be left out by the world’s ongoing spin at 5:36 PM. Those times are only good for Ashlandia. Your times will vary.

The Neurons planted a couple songs in the morning mental music stream. They’re related. It started with irritation with Papi, our ginger floof. He was going in and out and in and out times three. Poor little one was restless and bored. Naturally, The Neurons responded with The Who, “Squeezebox”, from 1975. But when I finally forced myself awake and out of bed, “Real World” by Matchbox Twenty (1998) was brought up by The Neurons, cause there’s this line, “I wish the real world would just stop hassling me.

Okay, coffee has been consumed (black with a shot of whiskey, of course), as well as brekkie. Time to go write and rule. Stay pos, and make Fourday the best one you can. Here’s the theme music. Cheers

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Exflooftion

Exflooftion (floofinition) – 1. State of deep sleep enjoyed by animals.

In use: After eating and grooming, the floofs found comfortable places for exflooftion, staying there for hours with barely any movement.

2. Exhausted state caused by animal behavior or worry about animal(s).

In use: “Noticing his dog didn’t eat with the same gusto, he began watching his fur buddy’s behavior for signs of illness, staying up late and awakening often, bringing exflooftion on him.”

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Tuesday’s Wandering Thought

His shoes were lined up in the closet. One pair had the sides reversed. He had to fix them before going on. The right shoe on the left side just looked too wrong.

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Tuesday’s Theme Music

Sometimes, I get up and decide, I’m not doing the math. The math can be anything from diet to floof pukes and all the range available in news, politics, and life’s generalities. The math will do itself, thanks.

It’s Tuesday. Cold, wet February 7, 2023. Cold is relative, as we’re at 36 F, up from the dark hours’ 30, and will reach 56 F. My weather spies had it wrong when they told me it wouldn’t drop below freezing until Wednesday. Or, possibly, the weather changed. A third thought is that they deliberately misled me because they’re spiteful. Fourth, I misunderstood or read wrong. Perhaps, though, the weather folks are part of a misinformation conspiracy so that they can make money or rule the world. Or they’re aliens and lying about the weather is part of their plans to conquer Earth. That’s the math.

Sunrise lacked yesterday’s boom but came in a scootch earlier at 7:18 AM. Our sun exposure will end at 5:33 PM. Meanwhile, more gorgeous moonlight was out last night in Ashlandia. Spring is peeking around Ashlandia’s plant life, getting me all excited. Winter likes letting Spring in early, then dashing back in with a few fresh inches of snow and icy weather. We’ll see, won’t we? I mean, what else can be done but wait and see?

“1234” by Fiest is playing in my morning mental music stream, seeded there by The Neurons when I was thinking about doing the math. Taxes were completed last night — didn’t take long, about forty-five minutes for state and Fed — I’ve been doing this a while, you know — but I didn’t file yet. I give myself a few days to let me think about what I might have overlooked.

I like “1234” for its mellow approach. Although it was released in 2007 and I heard it often on the radio, I’d never seen the video until today. I remember the Apple iPod commercials which use the song, though. Anyway…

Here it is. Stay pos. Make it a magnificent Tuesday. For me, it’s coffee, cleaning, writing, walking, and reading – halfway through A Psalm for the Wild-build by Beck Chambers. Small but highly entertaining book and should be finished quickly. Cheers

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Floof Jockey

Floof Jockey (floofinition) – Individual(s) responsible for maintaining order among animals and taking care of them.

In use: “In many households, floof jockey duties such as feeding, cleaning litter boxes, and exercise, are divided among children to help develop a sense of responsibility.”

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Sunday’s Wandering Thought

He removed his toothbrush. Then he remembered that he wanted to wash his hands before he brushed his teeth. Hands washed, he reached for his toothbrush in its holder.

Gone.

WTH?

He looked around. There was the toothbrush, where’d he set it two minutes before.

So it was going to be that kind of day.

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Someday’s Theme Music

Someday has come. Without work, without church, without routines save the one to get out and write again, my world has a narrow scope. Days on end seem the same, domino pieces with the same number of dots in the same order. Specifics like weather change, sometimes adding to the experience. Anyway, we’re planning a cruise — well, looking for one — after putting it off for a few years due to COVID. Just a small cruise, right, to feel the ocean’s roll and look at the expanse and remind myself how tiny I am. We’ll still working on our moving plans, but that’s going to consume a lot of energy. I’m not deeply into it yet.

It’s Sunday, Feb 5, 2023. Breakfast was already consumed, a bit of cantaloup and a cinnamon raisin bagel, and the coffee was drunk. News has been perused. Rain fell through the night, replenishing more local reservoirs and cisterns. Snow accumulates in the snowpack. 40 F now, under a gray crown, looking for 50 later. Sunrise and sunset are 7:20 AM and 5:30 PM. Celebrating a friend’s new grandchild, number four for him. He and his family are very pleased. I’m happy and excited because they’re happy and excited. It’s contagious stuff.

Didn’t sleep well, dealing with floofquests to go in and out, to be fed and petted, loved on and played with. They don’t want to recognize that I’m a day creature. “Come join us at night,” they urge.

“It’s dark and I can’t see,” I reply.

“Don’t worry, we’ll help you. Mind that hairball. It’s fresh.”

A bright moon was a break-out hit at one point. Outside with Papi, enjoying the fresh rain-enlivened air, Papi said, “See? There’s plenty of light. What is that over there? What the hell, I’m out of here.” He scurried back, leaving me standing there and staring, mumbling to myself, “What is it? I don’t see anything. Papi? Papi?”

I was also wringing hands over editing decisions and book directions, cursing my novel as a vile creature that needs to be buried. It’s all good, just the process. A looonnngggg process sometimes. Out of this, The Neurons have directed a song from the last century into the morning mental music stream. “Epic” by Faith No More was released in 1990. I was still assigned to Germany at the time, and the song was hugely popular with the troops rotating in as part of Desert Shield/Desert Storm. It was heard often and loud.

Here’s the music. Stay pos and enjoy Sunday as best as you can. I will. Sort of. Cheers.

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Polyfloofdron

Polyfloofdron (floofinition) – A collection of several animals doing activities, such as sleeping or nursing.

In use: “After eating, grooming, and playing, the dog, cat, and kittens came together as a polyfloofdron on a bench cushion in the fur-melting sun.”

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