Category: humor

Sunday’s Wandering Thought

It happened again last night. We were watching a Brit mystery on our television. Not the biggest one, a mammoth 65-inch critter, curved screen digital and all that, but the smaller 36-in digital flat screen that’s in the snug. Most of our living is in the snug. The corner recliner is the number one place for man, woman, and cats. Woman has number one claim on it, chasing the rest of us with sharply worded orders to “Get out.”

But that’s beside the point. The TV screen is big enough and digitally sharp. Not sharp enough for the moment as a character holds up a cell phone to read a text.

“Here we go,” my wife says. “What’s that say? I can’t see that. How am I supposed to see that? And they take it away so fast, I can’t even focus on it before it’s gone.”

She’s got a point. Kind of weird of them to use things like that. They provide us captions FOR THE HARD OF HEARING, as they nicely put it. (Yes, that IS sarcasm.) Would it be so difficult to include the text messages in the captions?

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Flooftiny

Flooftiny (floofinition) 1. A small animal.

In use: “The flooftiny they brought home fit into Grace’s palm. They didn’t believe he’d live, but two years later, he weighed over twenty pounds and was a formidable, furry, fun character, not surprising for a Maine Coon.”

2. One or more animals and individuals predetermined by fortune or fate to be with one another.

In use: “The puppy and the kitten came to the house just before Jessica was born. It was like flooftiny that the three individuals would grow up together as best friends, entertaining everyone with their antics and relationship.”

3. An animal’s passive resistance to authority.

In use: “The Husky staged a flooftiny every day, laying down and refusing to walk on the leash in the hot weather.”

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Saturday’s Wandering Thought

He met three visitors to the town, here for a conference. What’s your specialties, he asked, being polite, making conversation.

They study flies on dead things, they told him.

“Really,” he replied. “What’s the buzz?” He felt that it had to be said.

He didn’t win any laughs. Not even a smile. They’d heard it all before.

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Friday’s Wandering Thought

When something in his home breaks, his first step in his troubleshooting and fixing process is to turn it off. He allows it to stay off for a few minutes before turning it back on. It’s surprising how often that works.

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Friday’s Theme Music

Cats woke me up before sunrise. “I want cat food,” they cried. Sleepfeeding, I did their bidding.

It’s Friday, November 4, 2022, the last Friday with Daylight Savings Time in the U.S. That requires an asterisk to note that it’s not so everywhere. Nevertheless, it’s true in my little reality slice. Reality seems to be like pizza, a little different for everyone, even though it may look the same.

The sun skimmed into our southern Oregon valley at 7:46 this morning, limning dark clouds, autumn trees, and dark green pines on snowy mountains before climbing clear of them and claiming the day. It’s 41 degrees F now but air currents, sunshine, and fronts will take us to 18 C.

The Neurons are playing “I Want Candy” in the morning mental music stream. This is a floofmage to the cats’ early morning demands for food. Mind, they made this demand with three bowls of kibble available. “It’s not the same as fresh food from the can given by your loving hands,” they purred.

Well, I know BS when I smell it, even when it’s coming from a smiling black and white furry face, and a sweet ginger and cream furred visage. Still, doing their bidding bought another hour of sleep.

“I Want Candy” has been around for sixty years. I went with a later version, by Bow Wow Wow, released in the early 1980s. A female friend of mine loved dancing to this version. Part of our gang, she’d jump up and run off to the dance floor when it came on, if we were out clubbing. If it came on at someone’s home, she curtailed whatever she was doing to dance and sing. Fun when someone enjoys a song so much. I haven’t seen her since 1984. Wonder how she’s doing?

Stay positive, test negative, get vaccines when you can. Here’s the music. The magic brewing magic has stopped its gurgling sound; coffee is ready. Interesting that in a world of pinging, beeping, buzzing, and ringing devices to notify us of important and trivial matters, something as critical as the coffee is done brewing is not announced.

Cheers

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Thursday’s Wandering Thought

He got out his free weights today. They were the ‘Jack Lelane’ brand, given to him as a gift in another dimension. He theorized they would make a perfect material to fence the Roomba in and out of where he wanted it to clean.

He was right.

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TMFF

TMFF (floofinition) [pronounced ‘timfuf] – Shorthand or slang which means Too Much Floof Fur.

In use: “He looked at the sweater he wanted to wear and mentally noted, TMFF. It’d take time and effort to get all that cat and dog fur off it. The sources watched with smiles at his feet, as if saying, ‘See what we gave you? You’re welcome.'”

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Wednesday’s Wandering Thought

He wondered which of them had fallen out of love first. He believed that he did. He felt like she was always verbally abusing him and emotionally bullying him. He had a list of trespasses against her. She probably had one for him. The best thing to do is not keep a list, but there it was. They were so much alike, and they both always made lists.

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