Science fiction, fantasy, mystery and what-not
Reading an article online, he encountered an asterisk at the end of a sentence and scoured the rest of the page for why the asterisk was there. None was found.
He shook his head in disappointment, muttering something about the shortcomings in life being found in unexplained asterisks.
Gumbyfloof (floofinition) – Animal who stretches, curls up, or generally contorts itself in unusual positions.
In use: “Little black Crystal was a true gumbyfloof, tucking her head under in ridiculous positions when she was sleeping, and managing to twist and coil her way into weird places all over the house. Predicting where she might be found needed a true seer.”
Antefloofent (floofinition) – An event or action which precipitates an animal’s activity.
In use: “In many households, the antefloofent for animals interrupting their naps is the some sound, smell, sight, or thought that food is being opened, eaten, or contemplated.”
Flooftense (floofinition) Behavior done by a floof or to a floof to fool others.
In use: “The dog quickly learned that if he looked surprised and stared at the window, the others would look to see what he was looking at, enabling him to steal seats, blankets, pillows, and food under this flooftense.”
He and his friends met for beers and conversation. As they raised glasses and clinked them against one another, he said, “I just learned that the reason people originally clinked glasses like that was because the sound was supposed to drive evil spirits away.”
“Really?” Another asked.
“Yes, apparently the Gods didn’t like people to have fun outside of celebrations of Gods, and would send evil spirits and demons or minions or something after them to stop them from having fun.”
“Huh,” several said.
“Yes,” he continued, “and I just learned that when I made it up.”
Floofserker (floofinition) – An animal who is frenzied in an activity.
In use: “Fish and Chips were both well-mannered and sweet puppies until it came to eating their kibble. When they heard it hitting their bowls, the tiny brown and white beasts became floofserkers, leaping into the bowls, spraying kibble in every direction as their little paws kicked it out and their mouths frantically chased pieces.”
Floofisthenics (floofinition) – Floofercises and stretching related to animal behavior or practices.
In use: “Many people don’t appreciate how much having pets such as cats or dogs improve their physical conditioning, but floofisthenics done while feeding the beasts and cleaning up after them, as well as actually walking or chasing them in play, can help keep people fitter and trimmer.”
His wife needed new shoelaces. Only one store in town sells replacement laces.
He realized that finding shouldn’t surprise him. When he was a child, it was commonplace to snap a shoelace, forcing imaginative knotting to keep your shoe tied. In these times, the shoes usually wore out before the laces. His wife’s laces were for new shoes; she wanted white laces instead of the stripped ones that came with her shoes. Yes, it is a little first world pain, isn’t it?
No, the store didn’t have the laces she needed.
A languorous stretch
Then the shift and turn, twice, thrice
And sleep is resumed
Viafloof (floofinition) – An activity or function modified to include an animal when animals were not normally involved.
In use: “His routines included a viafloof when he left the office and went into other parts of the house, no matter where or the reason, checking on the cats and dogs’ status and location, reassuring him that his floofs were safe and well.”
Michael Seidel, writer 