Science fiction, fantasy, mystery and what-not
Kitfloof (floofinition) Animal who always arrives in the kitchen to beg for a treat when someone goes in to get food. Origins: Circa 2020, Oregon via Internet.
In Use: “A reliable kitfloof, Tucker always roused himself when Michael entered the kitchen, slow trotting in to see what he could beg off his floofman; perhaps a few pieces of chicken (his favorite), a small cheese offering, or the chance to like the dishes after. Michael rarely failed to give him something.”
Floofmulent (floofinition) – 1. An acceptable or satisfactory animal. Origins: 1996 American television.
In Use: “Jackson’s family took him to pick a kitten at the animal shelter. But an elderly cat marched straight to him, and Jackson announced the cat was floofmulent and named him Captain Jack.”
2. Something that animals are willing to accept, or that satisfies them.
In Use: “Although Devon preferred a tennis ball, Max couldn’t find her normal ball. After a little trial and error, Max found a stick which Devon thought floofmulent, and a game of fetch commenced.”
Floofracious (floofinition) One with a huge appetite for animal companionship or presence. Origins: 1635, Europe.
In Use: “A floofracious young person with a menagerie of rescued animals, birds, and lizards, few were surprised when Chase took her inheritance and began an animal rescue operation.”
In Use: “Suffering from animal-related allergies, Dovante turned to art to help satisfy his floofracious needs, painting animal portraits (flooftraits, he termed them), and photographing animals whenever possible.”
Floofymoon (floofinition) – 1. A lunar event that seems to make animals more energetic or active.Origins: Internet, early 2000s.
In Use: “Bristol couldn’t see the moon because of clouds (and he never looked up at the moon anyway, and privately wondered why that was), but he figured whateverI it was, it was a floofymoon, because the three rescue floofs (they’d chosen him) were rebellious and rambunctious in everyway imaginable, knocking things off the desk, kitchen counter, bedroom dresser, and bathroom counter! It was a night of madness and then they slept like angels.”
2. Short time when all animals or people and animals are getting along well.
In Use: “Most of the time, Bats and Snacks went at it like Steelers playing the Browns, so there was mega levels of barking, hissing, growling, and running 1440 minutes a day, but once in a while, a floofymoon gently landed, and the dog and cat groomed each other and napped together.”
Floofyism (floofinition) – Devotion to an animal or animal spirit. Origins: unknown.
In Use: “A familiar and common floofyism is when a person or animal (who isn’t a lion) is said to have the heart of a lion.”
In Use: “A look around Debby’s living room, and Kyle saw full-blown evidence of her floofyism in multiple paintings, photos, and statues of her beloved terrior, Captain Kirk.”
In Use: “Kyle’s floofyism was almost obfloofsive, as he wore wolf-themed tee shirts, rooted for teams like the Timberwolves, Chicago Wolves, and Wolf Pack, and chose to go to Sonoma State University so he could play football as a Seawolf.”
Grrness (floofinition) – Quality or depths of an animal’s anger or willingness to fight. Origins: Early 21st century Internet. Synonyms: Feistiness, spiciness
In Use: “Seeing the other cat approach, Papi’s grrness ascended. Eyes narrowing, he stood, lowered his head and tail, and unleashed a long, low growl.”
In Use: “Although only a two-legged human, Jill often exhibited a floof’s heightened grrness when writing about Trump and injustice.”
In Use: “When Walt ignored Casper’s appeals for some of Walt’s food, Caspar’s grrness punched up. Seizing half a sandwich with his mouth, he turned and darted away as Walt furiously shouted.”
Supfloofvisor (floofinition) – Animal who oversees or takes charge of organizing or directing activities. Synonym: Supfurvisor. Origins: 1970 United States
In Use: “Border collies and corgis are two dog breeds known for being supfloofvisors, and often want to round up other animals and guard things.”
In Use: “Popsicle, aka Pop, always arrived for meal preparation, setting himself as supfloofvisor, meowing and waving a paw until he was permitted to sniff each ingredient.”
Loveser (floofinition) – Animal slang or floof slang (flang) about an animals who is serious but loving. Origins: Internet circa 2024.
In Use: “The big dog was never seen to play and earned a rep as a loveser, hanging with his people, tolerating other animals, never barking or whining, but frequently wagging his tail.”
In Use: “In the clowder of six kittens, gray furred Penelope was a solemn big-eyed cutie, soon revealing herself as a loveser, preferring a comfortable lap with a few scratches around her chin and ears over kitten games.”
Brigfloofading (floofinition) Animals coordinating together to cause chaos or disrupt activities. Origins: Internet, 2021
In Use: “People forced to work at home often share net tales about brigfloofgading, when their housepets come together in mock combat to distract them from whatever they’re doing.”
Being laid up seemed to lure flocks of dreams. An early one was about cars. I often dream of cars so this isn’t something overly remarkable.
The featured car was one from my life, a 1985 Mazda RX-7 GLE SE. We bought it new on returning to the US from Okinawa. My wife went along with the purchase even though a two-seat sports car isn’t practical and the insurance was hefty for a 29 year old driver. My wife didn’t drive it as she didn’t like driving manuals. Wasn’t comfortable. But we had fun in the car.
Dream me could have been lifted from a photo of the period. So there I am, driving the car. I pull up to a long, wide table. Blonde wood with a silver metal edge all around. I reach down along the long table. Almost magically — or maybe I just overlooked it — I have a black cord in my right hand. A small black connection is available. It’s like the monolith at the beginning of 2001: A Space Odyssey.
I connect it to charge my car. Charging is done in nothing minus one second. I disconnect the cable and move back to my car. As I do, I hear a man speak. He asks, “Why is he taking my energy? He doesn’t need my energy. He has his own. And he can make more.”
I knew he was talking about me. Another began defending me.
I waved them off. “No, no, he’s right. I can generate my own energy. That’s what I’ll do.”
Dream end.
Michael Seidel, writer 