Loveser(floofinition) – Animal slang or floof slang (flang) about an animals who is serious but loving. Origins: Internet circa 2024.
In Use: “The big dog was never seen to play and earned a rep as a loveser, hanging with his people, tolerating other animals, never barking or whining, but frequently wagging his tail.”
In Use: “In the clowder of six kittens, gray furred Penelope was a solemn big-eyed cutie, soon revealing herself as a loveser, preferring a comfortable lap with a few scratches around her chin and ears over kitten games.”
Brigfloofading(floofinition) Animals coordinating together to cause chaos or disrupt activities. Origins: Internet, 2021
In Use: “People forced to work at home often share net tales about brigfloofgading, when their housepets come together in mock combat to distract them from whatever they’re doing.”
Being laid up seemed to lure flocks of dreams. An early one was about cars. I often dream of cars so this isn’t something overly remarkable.
The featured car was one from my life, a 1985 Mazda RX-7 GLE SE. We bought it new on returning to the US from Okinawa. My wife went along with the purchase even though a two-seat sports car isn’t practical and the insurance was hefty for a 29 year old driver. My wife didn’t drive it as she didn’t like driving manuals. Wasn’t comfortable. But we had fun in the car.
Dream me could have been lifted from a photo of the period. So there I am, driving the car. I pull up to a long, wide table. Blonde wood with a silver metal edge all around. I reach down along the long table. Almost magically — or maybe I just overlooked it — I have a black cord in my right hand. A small black connection is available. It’s like the monolith at the beginning of 2001: A Space Odyssey.
I connect it to charge my car. Charging is done in nothing minus one second. I disconnect the cable and move back to my car. As I do, I hear a man speak. He asks, “Why is he taking my energy? He doesn’t need my energy. He has his own. And he can make more.”
I knew he was talking about me. Another began defending me.
I waved them off. “No, no, he’s right. I can generate my own energy. That’s what I’ll do.”
Floofplosion (floofinition) – An animal’s rapid or spectacular bursting out or forth via sound or activity. Origins: 1682
In Use: “People with cats have frequently witnessed ‘the zoomies’, an unexpected floofplosion where a cat races around an area at top speed, often with sharp braking and random sudden turns, not infrquently accompanied with bold, loud noises.”
In Use: “After she acquired a labrador, Taylor discovered the young female was prone to floofplosions, racing around the fenced backyard lap after lap for up to twenty minutes at a time.”
Flooftet (floofinition) – Small group of animals of different species, sizes, and ages. A flooftet is considered more than two but less than nine. Origins: Internet, circa 2015.
In Use: “When Maria entered the living room, she discovered a flooftet looking at her. The bird and rabbit seemed floofchalant, but the cats and dogs wore guilty expressions, as if she’d caught them plotting.”
In Use: “Movies about flooftets, such as Homeward Bound: the Incredible Journey from 1993, often attract audiences who enjoy warm and humorous adventure romps starring animals.”
HOF: Human Opportunity Floof(floofintion) – An animal who enjoys any and all people they encounter or will beg for treats and/or attention from any person they met. Origins: Internet, first noted use in 1999.
In Use: “Quinn of the blackfoot clan, with his long silky fur and sweet face, was a true HOF, eagerly greeting people who passed by his house, letting them shower him with scratches, compliments, and back strokes.”
Barfloofian(floofinition) – 1. An animal who seems alien or foreign to a location, or who is not accepted as belonging. Origins: 14th century Floofman.
In Use: “The kittens’ appearance in the household disturbed Samson, who seemed appalled by their smells, looks, and sounds, treating them like barfloofians whenever they got close — at first.”
2. Animals who are deemed lessor or lacking in some manner because they are different.
In Use: “Corky was a dog and understood that. He got along well with other dogs, and loved his humans, but had no interest in cats, who he thought of as rude and snotty barfloofians.”
Floof Generis (floofinition) – One of a kind sort of animal, which can be decided by personality, appearance, or actions. Origin: early 1900s, middle Floofinus influences.
In Use: “Camilla was a floof generis, understanding her human’s needs before a word was said, silently rushing off to bring Colleen her cell phone before it rang, opening the refrigerator to bring back a beer, fetching newspapers and books, and of course, slippers and blankets.”
In Use: “The relationship between the child, crow, cat, and dog was so floof generis that videos of it stormed through social media.”
Snoozaflooflooza(floofinition) – An ongoing celebration of sleep which many animals participate in. Origins: unknown, believed by floofologist to predate human history.
In Use: “Not knowing that her cats had decided to join snoozaflooflooza this year, Judi worried over how much the trio was sleeping, fearful that they had an illness.”
Michael Seidel, writer 