Thoroughfloof

Thoroughfloof (floofinition) – a fastidious, meticulous, or tidy housepet.

In use: “A thoroughfloof in his litter box habits, the big tabby tom always dug a hole, did his business in the hole, and then covered the hole with his business with brisk, quick strokes.”

“The beagle was a throughfloof when it came to food, snatching up and lapping up anything dropped on the floor before two seconds passed, and licking his bowl clean at every feeding.”

 

Food Choices

My friend nan referred me to Mary Roach’s book, Gulp, when I wrote about how my urine tastes, and I’m in her debt. After working down through my book piles, I started reading it on Saturday. It’s one of those books that forces me to set it down to think and conduct research. I’m still reading Gulp, but it’s a fascinating read. Ostensibly about the alimentary canal, it includes much about animals and humans’ eating habits, and some of the psychology behind our food choices.

One of the early facts that she stated is that most people only eat about forty flavors. When I shared that with my wife, she asked, “Is cheese one flavor?”

Good question, right? Is an IPA the same as a porter, stout, and lager? Why, no. I drink each for the different flavors they share with me. My choices also depend on what I’m doing and eating. So, do I put down beer as one flavor choice, delineate between the different beverages, or go more deeply into what makes it all up?

These are important distinctions because my wife and I immediately set out attempting to catalog our flavors. We quickly became trapped in a ball of mud about what parts of what flavors we like. We like dark chocolate but I don’t like it overly bitter, like past seventy-two percent. She likes it a little sweeter. Is dark chocolate a flavor, or is it chocolate with sugar, with whatever else is in there?

Those of you who eat gluten-free foods probably understand what I mean, along with the folks that eat sugar-free and fat-free offerings. They taste different. They’re a different experience in my mouth and on my tongue. Some of that may be psychological. In taste tests done with white and red wine, being able to see the color makes a difference in how the flavor is interpreted and described. Likewise, tests have shown that frequently, most of the differences observed between ten dollar bottle of wine and more expensive ones are often about perceptions of quality and expense; the more that something costs, the better it’s supposed to be, right?

It’s a knotty question. The whole thing about pet food was pretty mind-blowing. According to Mary’s research and writing, most cat food tastes about the same to the animals, regardless of what the flavor is supposed to be. To which I respond, say whaaat? My cats seem to show definite preferences, preferring to eat fishy stuff — which smells fishy to me — over the chicken, and chicken over beef. None of them are impressed with “Supper Super”. Gulp claims that these preferences are mostly about my perceptions, and not the animals.

It could be that I’m reading the whole thing wrong, or mis-interpreting the data. It does explain the waffle and fried chicken cat treats that have arrived. It’s not that the animals like waffles and chicken, but we, their owners, think that they’ll enjoy them.

The book fascinates me, too, because of the connections between tasting food and smell, and our brains’ acceptance about what is not good for us. I’m often smelling things and trying to analyze what I’m smelling, a process that I call, “What the hell is that smell?” My wife does the same. This leads to a game at our household that goes like this:

Her: “Do you smell that?”

Me: “You need to tell me what you mean. I smell many things.”

“That smell.”

“Again…”

“It smells like cat piss.”

“No, I don’t smell that.”

Sniffing the air, furniture, and carpet, we start looking around the area to see if it looks like a cat has pissed where they shouldn’t.

Me: “Maybe it’s the litter box.”

“It smells too strong. It smells like it’s right beside me.”

“Maybe a cat peed on your clothes. Are they wet?”

“I think I’m going to go change.”

Me: “I don’t smell cat piss, but I do smell someone’s marijuana crop. Or maybe it’s a skunk. Do you smell a skunk?”

The game goes on forever, it seems like.

I’ll keep reading Gulp. If more is explained, than I’ll come back and read another post.

That’s just the way it goes.

 

 

Floof-matter

Floof-matter (floofinition) – a hypothetical form of matter invisible to people that housepets often notice, postulated to account for animals’ odd behavior.

In use: “Without warning, the cat leaped up from its dead sleep, stood on her lap, and stared across the room without movement. She stayed calm, realizing that Alberta was probably seeing floof-matter.”

Floofdude

Floofdude (floofinition) – animal lover.

In use: “The floofdude kept food and treats in his bag so that he could feed any cats and dogs that he met, and carried nuts and seeds for crows and squirrels. They all started looking for him. It was like Mr. Doolittle was walking down the street on some days.”

Foodiefloof

Foodiefloof (floofinition) – a housepet who displays loyalty to whoever has the food; a housepet who is fond of food and eating.

In use: “Titus is sometimes a dudefloof, but when I’m cooking, he becomes a foodiefloof, and then, he’s all mine!”

Doofloof

Doofloof (floofinition) – a housepet who often acts silly.

In use: “The feathered doofloof liked collecting things from around the house like rubber bands, chains, keys, and bracelets, often dancing in triumph while singing when he added a new treasure to his collection.”

Dudefloof

Dudefloof (floofinition) – a housepet who prefers male company.

In use: “In a house with three young girls and two female adults, the dog turned out to be a dudefloof, even though one of the girls had rescued him. Wherever her husband went, the spaniel followed.”

Roofloof

Roofloof (floofinition) – housepet, often cats and birds, who enjoy hanging around on roofs.

In use: “The next-door tortie was a roofloof. If our neighbor didn’t find her on his roof, he’d walked around, looking on other roofs and calling her. It was a seasonal habit, exercised only when sunshine abounded.”

Floofproach

Floofproach (floofinition) – the manner taken to walk up to, pet, or speak to a housepet.

In use: “One must be cautious in their floofproach when dealing with Tina. She’s gentle and sweet, but she is large and has her floofuliarities. For example, an unexpected hand toward her face will earn one a sharp rebuke.”

Floofsation

Floofsation (floofinition) – the impressions and feelings known when with a housepet, or while remembering a housepet.

In use: “Seeing the empty ceramic food bowl, he pulsed with deep floofsations of seeing his little long-haired cat rushing up to the bowl, dancing from foot to foot as he ate and purred. Hearing memories of the purr recalled the cat jumping on his lap and gazing at him with shiny, wide green eyes as he kneaded and purred. Teary, with a lump rising in his throat, he remembered how the cat would curl up, look back up at him, and gently bite his chin.”

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