Category: dog

Floof-exchange

Floof-exchange (floofinition) – Place where animals go to enter quantum portals that allow them to live better lives in alterverses. Sometimes they take their current bodies with them but have the power to leave that body behind, sometimes later returning to that same body. Because of the floof-exchange’s nature, it’s possible for animals to arrive seconds before they left so it appears that they never departed at all.

In use: “Multiple floof-exchanges exist wherever humans lived, but humans lack the intelligence and skill sets to see or understand them, and the animals use them freely.”

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Shufflefloof

Shufflefloof (floofinition) – 1. Activity where a person moves one pet or animal only to have another one engage them. 2. Game with a complex points system where pets take whatever place a human or other pet vacated. Higher points are given if the points are from an animal different from themselves.

In use: “Classic games of shufflefloot are constantly being shared on social media, such as the one about the cat, Dylan, who keeps stealing a woman’s spot whenever she moves.”

 

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Floofhop

Floofhop (floofinition) – One-legged hopping movement people employ after stepping on a floofberry or floofack.

In use: “Walking barefoot through the dark, Michael felt a cold squish under his toes and instantly began the floofhop.”

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Firmafloof

Firmafloof (floofinition) – The areas that hold animals’ attention, particularly housepets.

In use: “The dog never seemed to look up at the sky on their walks, keeping his nose to the ground, which was his firmafloof. That was one eighty to the cats back home, whose firmafloof was the sky filled with sparrows and wrens, butterflies and hummingbirds.”

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Floofment

Floofment (floofinition) – Window sill, ledge, location, or casement where animals like to rest and watch the world.

In use: “Each new resident animal discovered the delights of settling on the back of Evan’s sofa in front of the living room bay window. It was the perfect floofment to watch squirrels, birds, people, and other animals going by.”

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Floofmuda Triangle

Floofmuda Triangle (floofinition) – A triangular area created by three animals into which things seem to mysteriously disappear.

In use: “She sat down in her recliner to enjoy a snack and some Netflix. The dog and two cats immediately formed a floofmuda triangle. Anything dropped was going to disappear fast.”

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Floofkeeping

Floofkeeping (floofinition) – 1. The occupation of owning and breeding animals. 2. The occupation of a floofkeeper.

In use: “Many people disliked floofkeepers, as breeding conditions led to deplorable puppy mills and too many kittens in cages desperate for homes.”

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Floofway

Floofway (floofinition) – 1. The manner in which an animal goes above doing something. 2. A corridor, hallway, path, or structure dedicated to helping animals safely travel.

In use: “The dog’s floofway required him to go out at dawn’s break regardless of the season, do his business in the backyard, and then find something to bring in as a gift to his people. Sometimes, it was a flower, leaf, or toy, but he’d also brought in towels, balls, sandals, and shoes.”

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Floofberry

Floofberry (floofinition) (slang) 1. A piece of animal feces found on the floor in the house or dangling from a pet’s rear end. 2. Any type of drupe or berry contaminated by animal fur. 3. Sometimes used in jest to describe any food item covered in animal fur.

In use: “The child dropped his chocolate bonbon onto the carpet. The dogs and cat lunged for it but the mother used her mom-speed to beat them to it. Picking the chocolate up, she confirmed that it was an inedible floofberry now and tossed it into the trash.”

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Sumo Floof

Sumo Floof (floofinition) – A large animal (for its species and kind) that enjoys wrestling.

In use: “Sir Bob, the Maine Coon, was a natural sumo floof, taking on the dogs, humans, and other cats with gusto, but never letting it get violent or bloody.”

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