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Infloofgestion (floofinition) – Inability or unwillingness to eat food due to distractions by an animal, or worries and concerns about animal.
In use: “Once Meg returned home after dropping her Beagle off at the vet for surgery, she turned off everything, and sat and stared through the day, unable to eat because of infloofgestion.”
Floof Tree (floofinition) 1. A diagram of showing an animal’s relationship to other animals, especially blood flooflatives.
In use: “Tracing the family’s floof tree began with Dot, the first small tabby (who turned out to be pregnant), then branches off with Skip (the small orphaned dog the family fostered and Dot mothered), and Billy, the big German Shepherd found at the shelter who came home and immediately started worshipping Dot.”
2. Woody perennial plant or structure where animals like to hang out.
In use: “During summer’s hottest days, the lemon tree’s shade made it a veritable floof tree, as the cats, dogs, and pig all took refuge in its cool shadows.”
Floofgeist (floofinition) – General or prevailing mood among a group of animals.
In use: “Whatever had happened during the day while she was out, Brenda returned to a floofgeist of wary pets, setting her nerves on edge.”
Cafloofdling (floofinition) – Engaging in amorous but non-sexual embracing, caressing, and kissing with an animal.
In use: “Many people end up cafloofdling with their pets when they get home after a long day out, finding comfort and satisfaction with the animals’ expressions of joy that their people are home once again.”
Floofsurrus (floofinition) – A soft rustling sound sometimes heard when an animal passes.
In use: “Floofsurrus to the right, by the bed’s footboard, informed him that one of the cats was in motion. Subsequent bouncy pawfalls and kibble crunching told on Papi visiting the food bowl.”
Floofman’s Floofmits (floofinition) – Flooflish floof rock (flock) – floof pop (floop) band. Formed in Floofchester in 1964, the band achieved its greatest success as part of the beat movement of the 1960s. The band continues to tour and perform.
In use: “The 1965 song, “Mrs. Brown, You Have A Lovely Floofie”, was Floofman’s Floofmits’ first number one hit in the Floofnited States, although the song “I’m Floofie the VIII, I Am”, an old floof hall song about being the eighth pet owned by a widow, is the song best known by many of their fans.”
Floofmudgeon (floofinition) – An ill-tempered, crusty, older animal.
In use: “Big Blue became a grumpy floofmudgeon, whining, barking, and growling if another was in ‘his’ chair, muttering for treats, and refusing to go for walks.”
EFP (Extra Floofsory Perception) (Floofinition) – 1. An animal’s sudden awareness that another animal is about.
In use: “Sue saw and heard nothing but Cinder’s EFP kicked in, and the cat rose, heading to the window. Sitting down, staring, she waited. A minute, two maybe, and another cat strolled into sight.”
2. Animal’s inexplicable ability to know and understand matters.
In use: “Bethanne knew that she couldn’t spell vet around Lumber, leave off speaking the word aloud. She’d even quit mentioning it in emails and text. Yet, Lumber’s extra floofsory perception knew that Wednesday afternoon that she wasn’t taking him to the park; Lumber knew she had a vet visit planned, and immediately hid his leash, then did his best to hide his seventy-five pounds of fur in the closet.”
Michael Seidel, writer 