Floofstorm

Floofstorm (catfinition) – a violent disturbance caused by cats, usually with yowling, growling, hissing, and running.

In use: “A floofstorm disturbed the warm, quiet night. Leaping up to find the search, the couple found their little black cat, Crystal, stalking a large tom by the garage. Yowling, growling, and spitting, he was searching for a way out, but the silent little queen refused to let him get away.”

Floofsanity

Floofsanity (catfinition) – 1. Internet slang for crazy cat behavior. 2. A cat who drives you crazy with their behavior.

In use: “In the latest iteration of floofsanity, he’d left his sock drawer open before he left the house. When he’d returned, he found the cat had taken all of his socks out of the drawer and scattered them around the house like a surreal variation on an Easter egg hunt.”

Floofvice

Floofvice (catfinition) – the things humans say to cats and other animals as help.

In use: “”I have some floofvice for you,” he said to his bored tabby cat. “Don’t eat your fur. Just lick it off and spit it out of your mouth. Just because it’s in your mouth doesn’t mean that you have to swallow.””

Kithold

Kithold (catfinition) – psychological, emotional, or physical grip cats employ to control people and situations.

In use: “The cat did not move, but emitted a high-pitched growl and stared. The kithold effectively froze the people and dogs in place.”

The Direction Dream

Hartford, CT.

It seems like a strange place for a destination for a writer living in Oregon, but that’s where I was going in my dream.

It began as a confused melange of chaotic colors. A story emerged. I was with my wife, and a friend, Mark (not his real name), and his wife. We’d survived something and had come together. Now we were going to Hartford, CT. Then we’d fly out of there. I don’t know where we were flying to.

I said, “Okay, I know the way. Follow me.”

My wife and I got in our car and started driving. Mark and his wife were in an eighteen-wheeler truck. Mark drove. His truck was glossy black with neon green trim. At first, I was leading, but coming up on two other eighteen-wheelers, I became stuck behind them. Mark passed us. The three trucks were aligned across the highway, blocking all three lanes. All three trucks were painted the same color and style, glossy black with neon green trim.

I managed to pass them with some aggressive driving. The highway entered a woods and then became an unpaved rough path that grew fainter and narrower. We finally stopped because it seemed like the wrong way, and we couldn’t go on.

Meeting up with Mark, he said, “I have GPS. I’ve mapped out the way. Follow me.”

I said, “Where are we going?” I knew we’d said Hartford, Connecticut, before, but it seemed odd.

“Hartford, Connecticut,” Mark said.

“Why Hartford, Connecticut?” I said.

Mark laughed. “Don’t worry. We’re going to fly out of there. Trust me.”

We drove in our vehicles, me following him. In a surprisingly short time, we stopped. We weren’t in Hartford, Connecticut, but in someplace we’d stay until we could go on. My wife went ahead with Mark and his wife while I stayed behind to help a homeless person, chatting with them while giving them food and money.

Then I went to the hotel. I told the desk agent who I was and who I was looking for, but they knew me, and said we were already checked in. I prepared to pay, but they told me it was all already paid for, and showed me into a luxury suite. It was gorgeous, with a private dining area for the suites on that floor that was on a balcony overlooking an amazing vista. That’s where my companions were sitting and chatting.

Mark had it all arranged. All I needed to do was to trust and follow him. I agreed to do that.

After buying some food for our trip, we departed. Two cats traveled with me. Sometimes they were in a kennel, but sometimes they wandered about freely. It seemed like we were traveling in our suite at that point, confusing me. I’d get in my car to drive, but the entire place would go, not requiring me to do anything but trust Mark. My wife and I socialized with him and his wife.

His wife had a birth defect that left her without feet. Instead of feet, her legs ended in two knuckles that she walked around on. She had several animals, too.

An issue emerged with her. She was eating soldiers. As this hubbub arose, I rushed to learn what was going on, and to basically get involved. What she actually ate were small plastic soldiers. While it appalled me because they were plastic, probably didn’t taste good, and lacked nutritional value, I defended her against the rest, and they agreed. They didn’t like it but she wasn’t doing anything wrong. 

After that, I fed my cats and found several extra sandwiches that I’d bought for the trip. They were in my car, in a compartment made to hold them. The sandwiches were of the kind called submarine sandwiches, or subs, like I bought at G.C. Murphy’s when I was a child. I didn’t eat the sandwiches, because I had food, but hung onto the sandwiches to eat them later.

That’s where it all ended, giving me a lot to think about on my walks today. We were still enroute to Hartford, Connecticut. It was the place to go, according to Mark, and we’d get there, if I just trusted him.

I’ve already taken some ideas from it. Chiefly, Mark is my muse, and I need to quit second-guessing him. If I do, I’ll get where I want to go.

Hartford, Connecticut? It’s not a matter of the name of the place, but rather a destination that I don’t know. It’s named, but it’s a surprise.

There was another dream, but I feel too exhausted from thinking and writing about that one to go into now. I’ll write about it another time.

Trust me.

Floofgemony

Floofgemony (catfinition) – event or circumstances defined by cats having preponderant influence.

In use: “Filled with stories, images, and videos featuring cats and kittens, the Internet was slowly becoming a floofgemony.”

Furvasive

Furvasive (catfinition) – cat or dog fur spreading extensively throughout a place or on objects.

In use: “The household’s three cats and two dogs’ furvasive present was known through fur on their clothing and furniture. Getting it off seemed impossible, almost like the fur was in the air like rain. The black cat’s impact seemed more furvasive than the rest combined, particularly on the bed, where the aging house panther liked to sleep.”

Purrprietary

Purrprietary (catfinition) – a cat’s claim of ownership by sitting or laying on it and purring.

In use: “He’d bought the laptop for his planned writing career, but as soon as he set it up and turned it on, Pepper, his Siamese cat – positioned herself on the keyboard and purred, establishing her purrprietary claim.”

Influenced

When you start chasing butterflies, stalking spiders, and trying to catch house flies, you may have been around cats too much, and might need to take a break from their presence.

This is also true if you get excited when you hear food being opened, or if you try to get into a room when someone else is in there and have closed the door.

Floofstead

Floofstead (catfinition) – a cat’s territory and its adjoining location; a place a cat claims by its presence.

In use: “The door was open, so in true floofstead fashion, the tiny diluted calico walked in, completed an inspection circuit, and then settled down for a nap on a chair, establishing that this was her place.”

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