B.F.

B.F.: Before Floof, sometimes referred to as Before Feline; a.k.a. B.C.: Before Cat (catfinition) – the period of time in someone’s life before a feline starts living with them. The use of B.F. has grown in recent years because of the confusion that arises from Before Christ (B.C.) commonly applied to years in some dating systems.

In use: “B.F., he slept through the night without disturbance, and walked through the house in the dark without fear of stepping on a sleeping animal or their gifts. It all changed A.F.”

Floofzing

Floofzing (catfinition) – lounging around, half awake, in a comfortable position, but not doing anything; imitating a cat’s relaxed style of draping yourself on furniture.

In use: “One eye partially opened but the other one firmly shut, the big black and white tom was floofzing in the sun on the sofa.”

Floofiavellianism

Floofiavellianism (catfinition) – a feline employing great cunning or duplicity to achieve their goals.”

In use: “People reading about floofiavellianism often scoffed. Didn’t most cats practice floofiavellianism?”

Flooftibule

Flooftibule (catfinition) – a cubby where cats like to sit to survey situations.

In use: “Samson settled on top of the fence corner as his flooftibule at the new house, making the space his own, as long as weather permitted.”

An Inconclusive Dream

First, my sister-in-law was visiting my wife and me. She was upset and came to talk to us.

I can’t describe where we were at. My observations were limited to a very close personal point-of-view. There seemed to be a place in black and white, and seemed like it was night, but we were inside, so I’m not certain of much beyond those basics.

I don’t know what upset my sister-in-law, either, nor why she came to us. All of that is hazy. My wife and I were tired and got into bed to go to sleep, and my sister-in-law got into bed, too.

None of us could sleep. First, one of my cats (the ginger fellow) came in, walked up to my head and looked at my face. I tried pulling my covers over my head so that I could sleep.

Then, I heard voices. After listening and failing to identify who it was or where they originated, I got up and started talking about them. My wife said that she heard them, too. I went to find the source and discovered my nephew. He’s my wife’s other sister’s son. Sitting cross-legged on a bed,  he was engaged in a noisy phone conversation on speaker.

I went back and reported that and then left for downstairs. Downstairs was daylight. Part of it was a gas station, but there was also a junk yard, and other things that I couldn’t make out. The gas station owner turned out to be my lawyer. I was being tried for something. I don’t know the charges. He and I walked around, supposedly to talk about the case, but neither of us were interested in it. He thought I was going to be convicted, and I unconcerned. Strolling around, we were under lights, but outside, but remained daylight. Others were there. They distracted the gas station owner/lawyer, a big old white male with short brown hair dressed in blue overalls. He drifted off to talk to them.

Sitting down, I gazed around the pile of junk. It was mostly old cars, tires, pieces of fencing, and a few appliances. Across the way, I saw a Studebaker Hawk. Rusted and faded, it had lost its side windows and wheels, but was otherwise intact. When the lawyer/GSO returned, I pointed it out for confirmation that’s what I was seeing. Yes, he answered, and then launched into a meandering story about how it came there that I couldn’t hear or understand.

He went away ago. Turning, I discovered a red Ferrari Testarossa Spyder go-cart. I wanted to know if it ran, and what it used for an engine, whether it was electric or gas-powered. I put these questions to the lawyer/GSO when he came back.

ferrari-testarossa-spyder

“Sure,” he said, with a good ol’ boy laugh while scratching himself. “It runs.”

“Can we start it?” I asked.

The laywer/GSO looked around and said (I think), “Let me see if I can find him.”

My wife came down. I told her about the Studebaker and the Ferrari, showing her the latter, telling her that I was waiting to see if it can be started.

The dream ended on that note.

Floofematics

Floofematics (catfinition) – the abstract science of trying to balance what you do for your cat(s) and what they do for you.

In use: “Tired of cleaning up hairballs, answering summons to give them treats and catnip, and cleaning potatoes out of the litter box, he sat down with a glass of wine to review the floofematics of the arrangement.”

Panda Floof

Panda Floof (catfinition) – a black and white cat that looks like a panda bear.

In use: “Looking out the window during a pause, he spied a cat making its way across the street toward his house. As the cat reached the sidewalk, it turned and paused, revealing its resemblance to a panda floof.”

Floof of Drawers

Floof of Drawers (catfinition) – a cat settled in furniture designed to hold clothes.

In use: “Whenever she opened a drawer to get clothes out, her calico feline friend leaped in, asserting her role as the floof of drawers.”

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