Category: Cat

Tit for Cat

I sat down on the toilet to do my morning thing. Instantly one of the three household cats graced me with his attention. One always does. Should I get in there and close the door before one arrives, a pitiful protest begins outside the door.

Boo wound himself back and forth against my legs while purring, meowing, and tossing glances at me. I said, “Will I never be allowed to do my business at home without one of you helping me? It’s irritating sometimes, you know. How would you like it if I petted you while you were in the litter box doing your business?”

I swear that his purr when up twenty decibels.

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Floofzing

Floofzing (floofinition) – napping in a semi-somnolent state, with senses alert for intrusions, threats, or someone eating something.

In use: “The floofzing cats’ ears turned when he drew a bag of granola from the cupboard, tuning into the sound as they napped and waiting to see what developed.”

 

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The Road-Show Dream

My wife and I were traveling in a car. I had a sense that we were changing locations, moving to somewhere new, an exciting prospect.

Along the way, we stopped in a town. It was pre-arranged for us to meet with a local musical band. My wife and I were to sing with them that evening. We sat with the musicians and coordinated the set list and discussed when we would arrive and what else was required for our performance. Part of the latter entailed doing more work, including find the song lyrics to several songs.

After that, we had time to kill, so we first went around the town a bit, just being tourists, and then got something to eat. Our big black and white cat, Tucker, was traveling with us, except that he was a furry, fist-sized black and white spider in the dream. He was in a cage but got out. The car door was open. I saw him leaving the car, but I wasn’t positive. Either way, I searched for him, but didn’t find him, and ran out of time.

Our appointment for meeting the group to prepare to perform had arrived. We met with the group at the convention center where we were to perform. Meeting with the band, I stepped back and let others lead. After a few minutes, it seemed to me that they were off track. Everything that’d been discussed was changed. I reminded them of our earlier conversation but they were confused, and seemed unable to remember anything that I said.

That’s where the dream ended.

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Carpe floof

Carpe floof (floofinition) – the enjoyment of the pleasures of a housepet without concern for the future.

In use: “Much spring cleaning remained but the cats and dogs’ loving looks inspired a carpe floof mood, and she found herself with her pets on a chair in the sun, eating a pastry while reading a book.”

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Haflooftia

Haflooftia (floofinition) – a housepet’s tragic flaw.

In use: “Cleo was generally a sweet tabby, but her haflooftia of sitting on the steps and preventing the dogs from going up and down almost led to her being re-homed.”

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Wednesday’s Theme Music

I thought my cats were singing today’s theme music. As I did the morning rituals of feeding cats, dressing, and foraging for coffee, they took turns stalking me, rubbing against my legs, sitting on my feet, giving me adoring gazes, and purring like mad. They wouldn’t relent, and I picked up that they were singing, “I got my mind set on you.”

You might recall the 1987 George Harrison cover of the 1962 song, “I’ve Got My Mind Set on You,” released by Harrison as “Got My Mind Set on You”, or the Weird Al parody, “(This Song’s Just) Six Words Long”. According to the feline streams hitting my music stream (a wholly telepathic thing), the cats were singing the Harrison cover.

I’ll go with it, just to purge it from my stream.

 

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Parafloofic

Parafloofic (floofinition) – of, having the form of, or relating to a housepet, such as a cat, dog, bird, etc.; expressed by being a housepet.

In use: “One large sun room was a parafloofic paradise, full of cat trees, food and water dishes for the cats and dogs, cushioned sofas and chairs where the animals lounged in sunshine, and budgies hanging from the ceiling in cages.

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Reflooftive

Reflooftive (floofinition) – a person’s behavior imitating a pet’s action; a housepet’s efforts to imitate or duplicate people’s behavior.

In use: “The morning became a reflooftive routine. First, when the dog stretched, she dropped down and stretched like him, wiggling her butt like he wagged his tail. Then, when she went into her yoga routine, he joined alongside her, stretching and putting his leg over his head. It always made her laugh.”

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Floofereens

Floofereens (floofinition) – the damage and wreckage left by the activities of one or more housepets.

In use: “Housepets’ flooferreens can be immense, she knew, having experienced a Lab that reduced her sofa cushions to confetti, and cats that had obliterated house plants, Christmas trees, curtains, and toilet paper.”

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