Affloofuent (floofinition) – to have a wealth of housepets.
In use: “With five dogs, seven cats, several aquariums, birds, turtles, lizards, horses, sheep, and goats, the Barnes children considered themselves affloofuent.”
Compufloof
Compufloof (floofinition) – housepet who is attracted to computers and other technological devices.
In use: “No laptop, iPhone, or smart phone could be set down and left unattended. As soon as they were, one of the resident compufloofs was on it. Even television, entertainment center, and DVR remotes were bait for their Golden Retriever. That compufloof had once collected them all, hiding them in a closet corner.”
Floof-luscious
Floof-luscious (floofinition) – housepets with a sweet, or pleasing attractiveness.
In use: “He’d never owned a pet. Neither had his parents, so he thought it must be a genetic disposition. Whatever it was, when he met the young miniature poodle, everything changed. Her face, he decided, rich with hopeful curiosity, was the floof-luscious component, especially her shiny dark eyes. It hinted of intelligence, mischief, and weirdly, he believed, love.
“Could there be love at first sight between a human and an animal?”
Haifloof (floofinition) – an unrhymed verse form about housepets, typically with three lines containing five, seven, and five lines.
In use:
Counterproflooftive
Counterproflooftive (floofinition) – actions people take to prevent or inhibit housepet’s activities or behavior.
In use: “Doors were closed to the cats and dogs, counterproflooftive measures to keep the toilet paper intact, keep animals from drinking toilet water, and keep the house clean. It was marginally effective.”
Cofloofinute
Cofloofinute (floofinition) – reduction of something to small particles by a housepet.
In use: “He was a sweet but young Dutch Shepherd, and quickly demonstrated that he could cofloofinute the mail into confetti as it came through the slot.”
Friday’s Theme Music
This one popped into my stream and then I sang it to one of my cats. The song, “Cool Jerk” by The Capitols, came out in 1966. I was ten and I thought this was a cool song. I still enjoy its beats, that bass, that piano, those lyrics and deliveries. I’ve never heard one of the cover songs (and there are many out there) that rose up to this version.
The cat’s version, of course, subs cat for jerk in the song. “Cool cat,” bum bum bum ba bum bum bum, “cool cat.” It was Papi on the receiving end and came about as the big dark ones, Boo and Tucker, were in one of their stand-offs. Papi, the svelte, young ginger, gave each a glance and sauntered between them.
Definitely a cool cat.
Floofbelly Elegy
Floofbelly Elegy (floofinition) – collection of memoirs by housepets, the people they lived with, and their values.
In use: “In one chapter of Floofbelly Elegy, a calico named Agent 86 told of how she liked to let people pet her, drop onto the ground and roll on her back, exposing her belly, and then attack people when they tried rubbing her belly.”
Infloofstigate
Infloofstigate (floofinition) – a housepet’s study or observation by close examination and systematic inquiry.
In use: “Whenever the door opened, Capri began to infloofstigate by going to a safe distance, listening and sniffing, and then move closer, listening and sniffing, until she was in touching distance of the visitor. That was only the beginning.”
Floofview
Floofview (floofinition) – a housepet’s range or limit of authority, competence, responsibility, concern, or intention.
In use: “When it comes to floofview, few animals have taken it to Beth’s level. The large German Shepherd believed everything was within her floofview, especially new puppies and kittens who need care and help.”
Michael Seidel, writer 