Author: Michael Seidel

Science fiction, fantasy, and mystery writer. Singer (sorry, no shows) & nudist (in my home). Beer, cat, cheese, coffee, pie and wine friend. Left IBM and Silicon Valley for the southern Oregon life but I miss the ocean. We're too far inland. Gotta move.

Saturday’s Theme Music

A friend mentioned to my spouse that he’d just cleaned his dishwasher filter, and it was disgusting. As we’ve had our dishwasher for twelve years and had never cleaned the filter, we decided it might be prudent to do the same. How hard could it be, I thought with my usual cockiness.

I first consulted the dishwasher’s manual.

There was nothing in it about cleaning the filter. There wasn’t any mention of the filter at all.

Mystified, I went to Maytag’s website. The instructions for cleaning the filter didn’t make sense.

Turning to Youtube, I found an excellent instruction video by Tomahawk, and removed and cleaned our filter. It had some grunge but it was nothing like the one in the video. It took some time to remove some things to get to the filter to remove and clean it, which allowed my mind to stream music. One song streamed was “My Sacrifice” by Creed (2001). While laughing at that choice — look at how I’m sacrificing, cleaning the dishwasher filter — I enjoyed my memory of the song, so I present the song to you.

5

The Piles of Pennies Dream

Here we go. I remember three dreams from last night, but will only cover part of one dream. Consider this the highlight reel.

I had nothing except the clothes that I wore and had returned to one of the places where I lived as a child. A poor place supported by a dying industry, it wasn’t a hopeful place. Neither child nor mature man, I was a young man in my dream. I knew most of the people in the dream through the business I owned back then, but I knew some from high school.

It was sunny but muddy, and I was scrambling to cope with losing everything. As I began thinking that through, I realized that I did have some small objects. Collecting them, I started carrying them around in my hands. They were mostly watches, keys, and coins.

I knew I couldn’t continue carrying them around in my hands so I acquired a pouch. After I put everything into the pouch, it was full and heavy. Now it needed to be turned into cash that I could use.

The dream went off into a few tangents of me exploring ways that I could make money from knowledge that I had. Nothing panned out, but while going about that, I kept looking for coins on the ground, or on the buildings’ floors as I came and went. Finding dimes, pennies, and quarters, I’d surreptitiously add to my collection.

Then I realized that there were literally piles of pennies outside in the mud. They’d been swept up, or shoveled up into even piles. Everyone was walking around them, dismissive. I thought, they’re walking around a fortune, and they don’t know it. I wanted to acquire some of those pennies and turn them in, but I worried that once I did, others would catch on to what I was doing and start a scramble.

Meanwhile, I cashed in some of my pouch’s contents, including an old wrist-watch. It wasn’t anything special, but the man who bought it said, “I’ve always admired that watch.”

I then sold other things to a shop run by an acquaintance. Having money relieved some anxiety I was feeling. I felt like I could buy food and clothing. After seeing piles of shiny pennies that looked new, I went back and asked him if he converted pennies to dollars. Laughing, he said, “They’re money, aren’t they?” I confirmed that meant, yes. I then converted pennies into dollars from my pouch. Checking on the piles of shiny pennies that remained outside, I began thinking about how to acquire more.

The dream ended.

One area of me was appalled by the greed that I saw in me in the dream, hoarding the pennies for myself. While thinking that, I also recognized, I’m not hoarding them. They’re all there for anyone to take but the others are ignoring them.

Perusing old dream posts and entries in my notebook, I see that I’ve dreamed of mud, pennies, and watches before. Looking up dream meanings for mud, pennies, and watches, I cherry-picked some with positive meanings.

Seeing or stepping on a mud pile means good luck— take advantage of the chances that are coming your way. See Excrement, Manure. Toiling in the mud: success and wealth through hard work.

To see pennies in your dream symbolizes luck, especially if they are shiny. Do not underestimate your talents and abilities. Dreams of pennies occasionally represent a fear of being poor.

To see a watch in your dream signifies luck and prosperity.

h/t to e/dreaminterpretation.org

I don’t know what or if (if any) my subconscious mind or restless neurons were trying to tell me, but I elected to apply some cognitive appraisal and decide, it’s all good.

 

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Floofball

Floofball (floofinition) – 1. A collective term for pets playing with balls or games with pets involving balls. 2. An affectionate term for a silly pet.

In use: “The floofballs loved a good game of floofball, taking turns chasing and wrestling with balls that people rolled across the floor.”

2

Another Writing Update

Editing and revising continues on Book Three of Incomplete States, a novel titled, Six (with Seven). 

While remaining ambivalent about the title, I’m feeling more attached to it as I edit. I’m ambivalent about it because I conjure negative reactions from others about the title. I imagine that it will sour some because it’s different (gasp). But reading, editing, and revising the book has brought me closer to the title. I understand why that title came to me, and why it works. I also swung back toward ignoring and dismissing the naysayers, which basically goes along the lines, “Fuck you.” I like to think that they’ll be so in love with the series by the third book that they won’t care about the title.

See? I can be an dewy-eyed optimist.

Editing and revising Six (with Seven) hasn’t been all coffee and cookies. One chapter obviously needed major reconstruction. I struggled to fix it for several days. Then, one morning, I opened it and realized, the chapter didn’t work because everything had evolved away from it. It’d been an early, exploratory chapter. Now, it didn’t fit.

It still took some time to cut it. I liked the characters and the writing. It was damn prettified. I also worried that I was cutting it out of expediency. The muses didn’t agree, so I cut it. I saved it…just in case.

Once that chapter was removed, everything else fit together like fine tongue-and-groove construction. I loped through several chapters a day. It’s a fine thing to enjoy what you’ve written.

Enough patting myself on the back. Coffee has been downed, but this is free refills Friday. Time to write edit like crazy, at least one more time.

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Whine #7,635,499,117,006

Sometimes I think, TGFC. Yes, thank God for coffee, a.k.a., thank God for caffeine. Coffee helps me cope when the friggin’ world seems determined to be the pebble in my shoe.

First, the wildfire smoke has returned. Grrr. Yes, the smoke isn’t as bad as the actual fire, nor the many accidents, disasters and true nightmares that others are enduring, you know, like being a refugee without a home — or country, any longer — or being torn away from your family and sent to another place, or raped or shot. I’m far from starving or being financially insecure. That’s why this is a whine.

Second, the bloody Internet connection is sooo…damnnn…slooowww…tooo…day….

I was at home first experiencing this. What the hell? Who knows, at that point. But now, in the coffee shop, it’s OMG time. Task Manager and all the security apps said there’s nothing wrong here. I tend to blame Google Chrome. Hasn’t been working right since that update.

Again, not big stuff, first world complaints.

Which took me back to Dr. Dinardo’s post, “Shifting From Anxiety to Excitement”. Her salient point:

Did you know that fear and excitement share the same set of neurotransmitters, including dopamine, glutamate, and acetylcholine.

  • Opposite emotions. Identical neurotransmitters.
  • Same neural activity. Different cognitive appraisal.

And the best way to shift from performance anxiety to excitement is to say one sentence on repeat.

Her information can be applied to multiple situations. It’s about changing your  reactions, right? So, as I walked, I worked on changing from feeling negative toward something on the spectrum’s positive side. While doing that, I thought about how Dr. Dinardo’s point is directed toward the first world. Her focus is on helping her students. The lessons can be applied to others (like me), but imagining myself leaving one of the world’s war-torn, disease-ravaged countries without any idea of where I’m going, it would be difficult for me to try to change my cognitive appraisal to be more upbeat.

It’s not a slam against Dr. Dinardo (although some might think, that sure read like a slam). It’s a slam against the world and the many ways that suffering is forced upon others, how slowly change takes place, and how impermanent it often seems. It’s a slam against people who think, let’s go back twenty, thirty, forty, fifty, one hundred years, to when times were simpler and life was easier. I consider that simplistic, narrow, and short-sighted, perhaps as simplistic, narrow, and short-sighted as my whining about the wildfire smoke and a slow Internet.

Yes, I understand that I’m simplifying cognitive appraisal and its mechanism. Hey, I’m only on my second cuppa. I’d need one or two more cups of coffee to go into it more thoughtfully.

I’ve read — and I’m dubious about projecting these things — that climate change will eventually affect our coffee supply. I’m dubious because projections are based on the known, and there often turns out to be many things that aren’t known that affect the projections. I’m also hopeful that a woman or man will arise, unite us, and say, “Enough with this shit. It’s time for a change,” and manage to rally everyone around them to change the world for the better for all, and save coffee.

It’s probably a naive hope. Meanwhile, I have coffee, time, a secure place, and a working computer. I’ll take advantage of the here and now, at least how it applies to me.

2

Friday’s Theme Music

Streaming something outta my yewt, a Canned Heat cover of a gem called “Let’s Work Together”, 1970. Don’t know why that song came to me this morning.

Yep, it’s a mystery.

0

Five O’Clock Shadow

Feeling his Fitbit buzz, Thomas leaped up, hurrying out of the house as he checked the time and confirmed, yes, 4:59.

It was sunny, which was helpful. He ran out of the house to the sidewalk, scattering the snoozing cats on his porch into three directions. On the sidewalk, he stopped, panting fast and holding still. He checked his shadow. It was crisply defined on the white pavement. The other wasn’t there.

The Fitbit said it was still 4:59. It didn’t show seconds, which he lamented. Cars rumbled by, breezes tousled the trees’ leaves, and the cats crept out to see what he was doing.

Then, it must have been five, because the shadow was there. “Who are you?” Thomas said.

“Your shadow,” the shadow said. “One of many.”

“Many?”

“Yes. You’re the one true person. The rest, like me, are just shadow.” The voice and shadow were fading.

“Wait,” Thomas said, a ridiculous request because the shadow couldn’t wait. It was a five o’clock shadow. Why did it appear? What did it all meant?

He didn’t know. At this point, only his shadow knew for sure.

0

Floofeable

Floofeable (floofinition) – housepet’s ability, particularly noted about cats, to shape themselves to fit into odd locations.

In use: ” Not matter the object, the cat always perceived fitting into it as a challenge to being floofeable and worked to fit into the object.”

See more at The Dodo.

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