I believe I am a leader. But then, I’m biased. I could just be full of myself. Arrogant. Too ignorant to realize that I’m not a leader, that others are blowing smoke when they tell me, or when they told me, I was a leader.
From my perspective, I’ve always been a ‘big-picture’ person. I like organization and decisiveness. I like decisions to be made quickly. I despise people and organizations who dither while trying to create a perfect plan, a perfect solution. No plans or solutions are perfect. But then, most of it can be modified later. Sometimes the modification will be harder.
That’s the way it goes.
I have been in formal positions of leaderships for several teams, in the military, in startup businesses, and in the Fortune 500 world. In surveys and assessments, I was identified as ‘authoritarian’.
That startled me the first time. I try to be inclusive. Try to coach up by inviting my team members to participate in decision making. But then, a decision is needed. I’ll ask them to vote. It seemed like many people did not want to vote, worrying that they’d make a mistake or reveal themselves in some way that they found uncomfortable. I don’t know. I’m guessing.
I already knew that I would make mistakes. That happens. Mistakes are good, as long as people aren’t hurt, killed, or traumatized. That’s part of the equation when decisions are made. Safety first. Almost always. But not necessarily always. Prioritization is and was needed about what is going on. The other facet of that is, learn from your mistakes. Internalize them and avoid repeating them.
And I have been criticized for assuming leadership. People asked, “Who put you in charge?” Fair enough. I don’t care. Who is in charge? What are we doing? Is there a plan? What’s the objective? Why are we all standing (or sitting) around doing nothing?
There was once an adhoc project established in the command section of a military unit. I walked in and was ‘volunteered’ to be part of it. I was a senior NCO at that point. Inside were several junior NCOs and junior-grade officers. One NCO later told me that a captain said, “Master Sergeant Seidel is joining us.”
And another said, “Oh, good. He’ll organize us and make a plan.”
Because that’s just who the hell I am. A bossy guy.
Michael Seidel, writer 
I see your point. Sometimes we see our own reality, try to work through it, or with it, and somebody comes along and says, “what the heck do you think you’re doing…”
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Well, all I could think was, we were taught/it was suggested that telling a parent their child was bossy could be problematic, but saying they have very strong leadership tendencies was a better way to phrase it, in order to lead into a larger conversation.
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Yes, words and tones matter, don’t they? We see and hear BLM described as thugs. Oath Keepers are patriots. Women seeking leadership are denigrated as being harpies while men are are applauded for being visionary leaders. For the record, I’ve never heard that I was ever actually dubbed to be bossy. LOL. Cheers
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Long ago I realized that I was a ‘bossy bitch’ especially around kids. One of the reaasons, among several, that kept me from having kids (no regrets, though), and from becoming a teacher. Kids can sense that from three rooms away and my patience is too thin in that regard to let it roll off. We are all grateful for the choices.
Bossy has it’s place, but it takes a certain level of confidence and attitude to carry it off.
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