Floofcon (2)

Floofcon (2) (catfinition) – a cat’s alert and warning system, demonstrated by its body language and posture, whiskers, tail, and eyes. Floofcons range from Floofcon 5 (normal state) to Floofcon 1 (the highest state of alert and readiness. Wider eyes generally indicate a higher Floofcon, with a bushy tail indicating that at least Floofcon 2 has been ordered.

In use: “A young cat who’d lived on the streets, his default Floofcon was four. Like the old Strategic Air Command (SAC), this cat was always on some state of higher alert, and often went from Floofcon 4 to Floofcon 2 in seconds, driven to a Floofcon change by a sudden loud noise or, more reliably, the appearance of another cat.”

See Floofcon for other uses of the word.

A Manuscripts & Politics Dream

It began with my little sister presenting me with a manuscript. Handing over a large stack of paper, she explained that she’d written a novel and wanted me to read it and give my opinion. I agreed, but asked her to reciprocate: read my novel and give my opinion.

Gina’s manuscripts turned out to be a humorous mystery. I thought it had a lot of merit. That’s the feedback I gave her. Did she have feedback for me? No, she hadn’t read my ms. She started but then forgot.

Her answer frustrated me. I’d lived up to my end, etc. I was called away before we could finish the conversation. Gina and I agreed to meet later.

Going on somewhere else via dreamport, I was now in a hilly city. It had been rainy. I was standing on the corner by a street. A man in a dark suit and raincoat (who looked a lot like James Noble (the actor)) approached me. We knew one another and shook hands and talked. Within a few minutes, he was telling me that they’d just come out with word about who the new POTUS was going to be. He gave me a name. It as going to be announced soon.

The name surprised me. I knew the man’s name and so on, but didn’t know him. I expressed some concerns about him.

We started walking down the hill. He was  concerned about the choice, too, and was wondering where the man was. He didn’t know if the man had heard yet. As we walked down the hill, the other man mentioned the name again, and then said, “Do you know who he is?”

I began talking about that when the other said, “No, he’s my father.”

That completely surprised me. We went through a conversation about their last names, which was something like LaFontaine. I said, “Pierre?” The other said with a smile, “No, that’s the NRA guy.”

As I was mulling that information, others arrived, and the conversation went on again about the new president. Then the new president drove up in a little old white imported economy car. While it ran without any problems, the car looked like it was forty years old, something small, with petite chrome bumpers, like a Datsun 510 (see the picture?) from the early seventies. (I’ve never owned or drove a 510, btw.)

The others all went off. I trudged back up the hill and, via dreamport, returned to my sister and the manuscripts. She’d read my manuscript and had some suggestions. As we began talking about that, a second younger sister, Sharon, arrived to give me her manuscript. I was surprised. We began talking, and as we did, I said, “I need to add more humor to my novel,” and was excited by immediate ideas that came to me about how to do that.

Then I awoke.

Floofography

Floofography (catfinition) – An account of a pet’s life, often a cat, written or produced by another (usually a human).

In use: “A floofography about the famous floof star, Mew Collins, was released last week. Mew Collins, a domestic shorthair rocker , had several songs that charted well during his career, including “You’re In the Bathroom (And I Need to Get In)”, “Ashley”, “Catnip”, and that cat anthem, “Touch My Tummy (If You Dare)”.”

 

Tuesday’s Theme Music

Once again, it’s time for Dirty Cello to perform at the Oregon Shakespeare Festival Green Show.

Once again, it’s in danger of being canceled due to unhealthy air from wildfire smoke. If it’s cancelled, this will be year three.

I’ve previously posted Dirty Cello playing “Rock You Like A Hurricane” and “Sweet Child of Mine”. Needing a fix, I dialed up a few songs and selected “Purple Haze” to share on this Thursday.

Wednesday’s Theme Music

Although I’m generally a rocker who likes the blues and drifts toward radio music, I’ve been streaming “Ladies’ Night” in my head this week. The impact came from its inclusion in GLOW. 

Released in 1979 by Kool and the Gang, I think of “Ladies’ Night” as a disco era staple. More, I thought it captured the essence of that times’ club partying sensibilities. Ladies’ Night was a promotional event to draw in more women by giving them special deals. With more women, more men would be attracted to the club, right? Sure, it’s like honey for bees.

“Ladies’ Night” played to all of that, calling out romantic lady, single baby,  and sophisticated mama.  These were the people at the disco, right? Come on out, ladies, it’s your night. I regret the song didn’t also address the weary student and hard worker. They were the true partiers.

Besides all of that, I always like the lines, “If you hear any noise, it ain’t the boys, it’s ladies’ night.” Always makes me smile.

 

Timbukmew

Timbukmew (catfinition) – legendary lost city in central Africa, said to be where the first house cats appeared and began their rule.

In use: “Although many insist that Timbukmew was a city built by humans, some mewthologists now suggest that cats are from another planet, and Timbukmew was their initial landing zone. This theory — or mewth — goes on to suggest that the felines began purring, drawing humans to the site and enslaving them.”

Mewthology

Mewthology (catfinition) – an allegorical narrative focused on the origins of house cats and their influence over humanity and the Earth.

In use: “While studying Egyptian mewthology, one is struck by how quickly cats seemed to have risen in stature in society. Some mewthologists believe this points to a period when cats purred more powerfully, enabling the felines to establish a telepathic connection with humans, which let the cats control the humans.”

Whiskercise

Whiskercise (catfinition) – an exercise program popular among house pets, especially cats, made popular by Miz Jane, a calico cat, in the 1980s. Whiskercise focuses on leisurely stretching when standing up, long naps, and sudden but short bursts of activity.

In use: “Devotees of whiskercise like to spring up and dash forward for several feet before stretching and settling down for a new nap. According to the whiskercise protocol, this enhances the cat’s natural beauty and increases longevity. Some whiskercise proponents have claimed to live more than nine lives, with one, a one hundred twenty-one year old tortie, claiming to have lived twelves lives.”

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