My Amended Dirty List

I saw that Pitch Black was available on HBO last night. I was like, I gotta watch it! And did.

Thinking about that, I decided to add it to my dirty list, along with others that mentioned in comments.

Here we go, round two.

Original list:

Unforgiven (1992) – “It’s a hell of a thing, killing a man. Take away all he’s got and all he’s ever gonna have.”

Fail Safe (1964) – “You learned too well, Professor. You learned so well that now there’s no difference between you and what you want to kill.”

This Is Spinal Tap (1984) – “I believe virtually everything I read, and I think that is what makes me more of a selective human than someone who doesn’t believe anything.”

A Christmas Story (1983) – “Oh, fudge. Except I didn’t say fudge.”

The Great Escape (1963) – “Cooler.”

Tropic Thunder (2008) – “I know who I am. I’m the dude playin’ the dude, disguised as another dude!”

Being There (1979) – “It’s for sure a white man’s world in America. Look here: I raised that boy since he was the size of a piss-ant. And I’ll say right now, he never learned to read and write. No, sir. Had no brains at all. Was stuffed with rice pudding between th’ ears. Shortchanged by the Lord, and dumb as a jackass. Look at him now! Yes, sir, all you’ve gotta be is white in America, to get whatever you want. Gobbledy-gook!”

No Country for Old Men (1997) – “What you got ain’t nothin’ new. This country’s hard on people. You can’t stop what’s coming. It ain’t all waiting on you. That’s vanity.”

On The Beach (1959) – “The trouble with you is you want a simple answer. There isn’t any. The war started when people accepted the idiotic principle that peace could be maintained – – by arranging to defend themselves with weapons they couldn’t possibly use – – without committing suicide. Everybody had an atomic bomb, and counter-bombs, and counter-counter bombs. The devices outgrew us; we couldn’t control them.”

Fifty First Dates (2004) – “Sharks are like dogs, they only bite when you touch their private parts.”

Bladerunner (1982) – “Time…to die.”

Bridge Over the River Kwai (1957) – “Are they both mad? Or am I going mad? Or is it the sun?”

Love Actually (2003) – “A tiny, insignificant detail.”

Men In Black (1997) – “No, ma’am. We at the FBI do not have a sense of humor we’re aware of. May we come in?”

The Dirty Dozen (1967) – “I reckon the folks’d be a sight happier if I died like a soldier. Can’t say I would.”

Doctor Strangelove (1964) – “Well, boys, we got three engines out, we got more holes in us than a horse trader’s mule, the radio is gone and we’re leaking fuel and if we was flying any lower why we’d need sleigh bells on this thing… but we got one little budge on them Rooskies. At this height why they might harpoon us but they dang sure ain’t gonna spot us on no radar screen!”


Pitch Black (2000) – There are a lot of goofs in it, which is part of the fun. “They kept calling it ‘murder’ when I did it.”

Silverado (1985) – “The world is what you make of it, friend. If it doesn’t fit, you make alterations.”

Kelly’s Heroes (1970) – “Definitely an antisocial type. Woof, woof, woof! That’s my other dog imitation.”

Secondhand Lions (2003) – “WE’RE OLD, DAMN IT! LEAVE US ALONE!”

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly (1966) – “You never had a rope around your neck. Well, I’m going to tell you something. When that rope starts to pull tight, you can feel the Devil bite your ass.”

Hang them High (1968) – “Some people call this hell, but you’re still in Oklahoma.”

A Few Dollars More (1965) – “I was worried about you – all alone, with so many problems to solve…”

High Plains Drifter (1973) – “What makes you think I care?”

What of you? Andy dirty secrets about the movies you watch again and again?

The Last Straw Rant

Plastic straws are the latest convenience to come under attack. Honestly, I won’t miss them.

I grow up under the impression that straws were for children to drink milkshakes. That was later amended to include smoothies and fraps. But straws for ice tea, lemonade, and water in a restaurant? No.

I witnessed that whole evolution and shift. I remember being in a California restaurant and being asked if I wanted a straw for my ice tea. What? No. I then remember dining with another person in California, and she specifically asked for a straw for her water, and another for her ice tea.

That was the mid-nineties, and I thought it strange. I became horrified and startled by how frequently people asked for straws if straws weren’t given to them. I often asked people in the early years why they wanted a straw. Many didn’t want to put their lips on the glass. Others didn’t like the ice bumping up against their face, nose, or lips. More said that they thought it neater, or more refined.

I guess that’s why I never took straws up; I’m neither neat nor refined. I rarely drink milkshakes, fraps, or smoothies these days. I guess I’ll acquire a metal straw for the times that I do.

It might be my last straw.

Monday’s Theme Music

I know exactly when I started streaming this song. After completing some yard-work, I went for a walk. As I did, I wondered about the number of Priuses in Ashland. It seems like the number one car. Subaru is well represented, too, followed by BMW models. More Teslas are showing up, but they have a long way to go before they catch the Prius.

As I thought this, I thought about counting cards and remembered, “We count only blue cars, skip the cracks in the street and asked many questions, like children often do.”

Yes, it was Dishwalla and “Counting Blue Cars” from 1995.

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