Air Future

Just imagine.

“This leg of your journey is sponsored by Progressive,” a soft voice states in your head as you stride along the beach. Progressive agents clad in their white and blue uniforms approach you with a smile and a tray of drinks.

“This is the life,” you say, accepting a glass of wine as a sea breeze and sunshine caresses your face.

You’d never believe you were flying thirty thousand plus feet above the earth, would you?

That’s the point.

Marketwatch posted a piece about air travel and passengers’ dissatisfaction with one another. As a result, most folks don’t like air travel. Instead of being a pleasurable method to go from one place to another, it’s become a gritty, exhausting experience.

So says me. My issues aren’t with the other passengers but the airlines. They cut services and space, increase ticket prices, improve their profit margins while customers like me and my wife suffer more and more. See, the older you become, the harder it is to wedge yourself into a tiny space.

Marketwatch did note that the airlines might be blamed for the rise of the irritating passengers.

“Why do planes seem to bring out the worst in people? “Planes are more crowded, seats are smaller, connecting times are shorter and amenities are growing more rare,” frequent traveler Nic Lesmeister told The Wall Street Journal in October, all of which stress passengers out and, experts say, may contribute to the bad behavior.

“He’s onto something. As MarketWatch reported in July: Airlines and plane manufacturers are reconfiguring planes to fit more people on them, shrinking (and in some cases eliminating) bathrooms, creating seats that don’t recline, and reducing the amount of legroom and the amount of padding in seats.”

Yeah, you think? IMO – you knew I’d have one – airlines need to do some quick fixes. Like what? Virtual reality, of course! Issue googles or glasses and plug us in as we enter. Create a different reality, something we’d like, to trick us into believing we were enjoying ourselves, rather than enduring a flying hell.

Yes, I know, costs, costs, costs! But with irritating passengers and air travel by volume on the rise, something needs done. Just think of the advertising potential. Flights, or segments of flights, and, or, aircraft could be sponsored by companies who would pay for the rights, like they do with sports stadiums. Companies could also bid for the naming rights for just the terminals, to help offset costs, and increase profits. Just imagine hearing them announce your six AM boarding call by saying, “Now boarding United Flight six seven three in the Home Depot terminal at the Red Lobster Gate. Flight six seven three is brought to you by Kellogg’s. Kellogg’s – the best to you each morning!”

Before and after your virtual interlude after seating yourself on the flight, your virtual reality sponsor can make an announcement. “This flight is made soothing by Verizon. Verizon, giving you the best world on the horizon.”

Come on, airlines, throw us a bone. Use some imagination and technology. Make it easier to for us to cope with one another and endure you.

Catmology

From the Human word cat and -logia, study of, we have catmology.

Catmology was originally the study of cats. However, in more recent popular culture, catmology has come to be accepted as the theory that the universe is cat-centric.

Evidence of this developing trend is on display in the world wide web and Internet. Cat rescues, cat love, photos of cats being cats, seem to be at the forefront, fighting with ‘real news’, such as the Superbowl, lessor sports information like baseball, cricket and football scores, fashion trends or if the POTUS knows how to read, to dominate our interests.

It certainly seems plausible that cats started the Big Bang. Something was sitting there and along came a cat. “Hey,” said the cat, “what’ll happen if I knock this over?” So they did. Bang. Then they probably rolled around in it a bit.

Some will point out inconsistencies in this theory. How can cats be there when there was nothing else except hot, dense matter? Catmologists will admit, they don’t know, but will counter, it’s quite possible that a cat managed it somehow. Cats have long defied every other law of special and normal physics. If any creature can tear or slip through the space-time fabric, it’s probably a cat. In a personal aside, I believe it was a ginger cat. They’re always getting into trouble.

In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised to someday learn that physicists changed the string theory to the fur theory. Cat fur seems to be everywhere. Revealing it as the most fundamental aspect of our reality seems like a no-brainer.

 

How to Be a Successful Writer

I love this final paragraph: “But embrace it. Work hard so that eventually (and I mean far-away eventually) someone will care. Sure, failure is guaranteed, but in order to be a successful writer, you need to be persistent. The only way to be persistent is to write because you love it.”

Actually, the entire piece speaks to me. I’m dubious of much writing success but I keep going. I enjoy writing. Writing helps me think, understand myself and the world, and it’s a liberating creative outlet. If I wasn’t writing already, I think, based on my mental wanderings as I walk, that I would start writing.

So am a failure as a writer? Naw, I have mostly found my voice. It comes and goes. That, itself, and the process, is as fascinating as anything to me. Most intriguing is when a character steps up and takes off on their own.

In some ways, that’s also counter productive and debilitating. The character becomes a buddy and a guide through the book. When I’m done, I miss them. Or, in this novel, with its six main characters and their variations on life according to what’s happening, one character finishes their piece and steps aside for another. It’s like they go on vacation.

It’s just like ‘real life’ in that regard. When someone steps out of your life for some period, your life’s continuity and routines are breached.

Having six in this book helps. Handley stepped up last week. I became very fond of her, discovering her strengths with her and further refining her individuality. Then she stepped away. After a few days of writing scenes, Philea stepped forward and took over. She’s smarter, calmer and a faster thinker than me, and thinks differently than I do, so I’m quieter and more thoughtful around her. Like me, she’s not socially engaged, but for different reasons.

Got off track. Back to the track. The article addresses the essence of my approach. I write, I’m persistent, and I enjoy it. Someday, maybe it’ll be more than a diversion from depression, drinking and disappointment with the world. For now, I’ll go with that.

theryanlanz's avatarRyan Lanz

by Michael Cristiano

So, you wanna be a writer, huh?

Well, it takes a lot more than just saying so. In fact, one of the most annoying things you can say to a writer is, “I wanna write a novel too, but I…”

And there you go. Insert some excuse as if us writers have somehow been able to get out of things that would keep regular people from attempting a novel or a collection of poetry or short stories. The excuses range from lack of time to lack of inspiration, from not having anything to say to having too much to say (see my post called “Why I’d Rather Pass a Kidney Stone than Talk about my Writing” where I delve into this phrase further).

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Today’s Theme Music

In these through the looking glass sort of days, I think today’s song is appropriate. Besides, I like its slow beat and long crescendo sort of style as it builds toward a conclusion.

‘White Rabbit’ was written by Grace Slick in the mid nineteen sixties. She and Jefferson Airplane released it in nineteen sixty-seven, and it became a hit. More, the song became forever associated with that era and the psychedelic movement. In me, an eleven-year-old growing up in America, was inspiration to think more and challenge beliefs and opinions, but it also fired my creativity. The song references Lewis Carroll’s characters from ‘Alice in Wonderland’ and ‘Through the Looking Glass’ and discusses sensory distortion with those characters. The lyrics employ the logic that I always enjoyed, an encouragement to look at the world differently.

Of course, its drug overtones and association with drugs through popular culture worried mom. Still, I like streaming it in my head as I walk about, especially the way that Grace sings, “If you go chasing rabbits.”

It’s a treat to find this YouTube offering from the Smothers Brothers. Loved that show.

The weirdest thing for me now about Grace Slick and this song was that she was just four years younger than mom, and Grace is now seventy-seven years old.

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