Tag: words

Just Sayin’

Feeling mad as a hatter, Skip bought a brand spanking new car. To his friends, it was a bolt out of the blue.

Checking it out, Clyde said, “What’s the four-one-one, Skip?”

“Yes,” Penelope said. “What, d’yer win the booby prize? Give us the straight skinny.”

“It’s my new jalopy,” Skip said, at one fell swoop gaining jaundiced looks. “I bought it, cash on the nail. I could only afford it by the skin of my teeth.”

Milly said, “You’re such a crack pot. Did you have to cook the books?”

“To coin a phrase, I think it’s a blot on the landscape,” Parnell said. “It’s the mutts’ nuts.”

Nodding, Tucker said, “Right on. Did you forget to use your loaf, Skip?”

“What’s with the third degree?” Skip wondered as Hester said, “I don’t want to be a wet blanket, but gag me with a spoon.”

“Fer sure, you’re barking mad, Skip,” Ethel said as Horatio said, “You’re such an airhead, Skipper. You bought a pig in the poke.”

Beaming, Skip replied, “Well, I think it’s the cat’s pajamas. It’s really groovy.”

Tucker rose. “That’s all well and good, but I need to catch some zzzs. I’m gonna skate.” Looking at Skip, he said, “Drop a dime when you’ve come back to earth, space cadet.”

“Word,” Ethel agreed as Clyde said, “Peace out,” and Milly said, “Mic drop.”

Watching his friends troop away, Skip said, “Well, I didn’t mean to upset the apple cart.” Leaning back in front of his ride, he took a selfie. “I’ll share it on the Cloud, and Facebook it, the whole shebang. Then, when people Google me, they’ll see my wheels.”

But first, he texted it to himself, and then went to veg out, pleased as punch. It was a new day, and the sky was the limit.

 

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She Said

she said, Why did you do that? Don’t you know better?

and she said, No, I don’t feel any warmth for you, so I can’t.

and she said, Call me, and you said, I will.

and she said, You never called, and you said, nothing.

she said, You smell.

and she said, I could never be with someone like you.

and she said, I think you can do anything that you try to do.

and she said, I wish you would have said something.

she said, Stay away from me, I hate you right now.

and she said, Hi, it’s good to see you.

and she said, Let’s get together.

and she said, Good-bye.

 

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Unique

You ever type or write a word, and then look at it and look at it because it seems like it’s wrong? But then you check, and, yup, that is the correct word and spelling?

I hope you do. I don’t want to believe I’m the only one that does this. I don’t want to be that unique.

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Guys and Gals

I entered the cafe. The two female baristas called out greetings to me. I responded, “Hi, guys.”

Then I thought about it. When I retired from the U.S.A.F. in nineteen ninety-five, I didn’t call females guys. But I discovered the young females in my new civilian office were calling each other guys.

I asked one of them about it. She shrugged. “It’s not gender specific to me. Everyone is a guy.”

“A guy is a male,” I said.

She didn’t agree. I thought, is this going the way of many other words, like decimate and literally, losing their definitions and developing into something more generalized? Over the years, I slowly tested it, calling women guys. Some responded, “Excuse me, I’m not a guy.” It was a rarity that I did, though.

I asked the two baristas their thoughts about it. They’re the same age, in their early twenties, college students who work in the coffee shop. One said, “I don’t care. Anyone is a guy. It not about gender.”

The other said, “I’m very sensitive to it.” She also works at a group with a large elderly population. They’re acutely aware, and have made the point to her, “Would you call a group of people that include men, ladies?” I didn’t view that as a parallel; there’s not a general trend to call groups of people ladies. I’ve only encountered that as a derogatory expression to groups of men, essentially implying that the men are effeminate, which is then offensive to them. That was particularly true in the military, as you can imagine.

Out to you, writers. I’m curious about others’ experiences and responses to this issue. Does anyone have some they’d like to share?

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Today’s Theme Music

Visiting with family, tread carefully. Words and looks creak with nuances that you may not notice. As these matters are delivered to your attention – “What did you mean by that?” – you realize how gingerly you must move.

Liam Sternberg wrote a song about the awkward poses struck while trying to keep your balance and avoid trouble. The Bangles made it a hit in nineteen eighty-six. Here’s ‘Walk Like An Egyptian’.

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