Dateline: Ashland, Oregon, USA. Friday, November 11, 2021. Sunrise allegedly came to the valley at 6:57 AM after a night of mild temperatures that drooped to 42 degrees F. Three cats were said to have witnessed the sunrise. This reporter reached out for confirmation but all phone calls and emails were initially ignored before one cat, speaking on condition of anonymity, said, “Listen. Time exists. But that clock and calendar crap is all human.”
“Surely animals pay attention to time.”
“Sure, but we don’t try to carve it down to tiny pieces to eat like humans do. Listen, there’s small time and big time.”
“Small and big time?”
“You don’t know this? Humans are so dumb. Small time is eating time, sleeping time, bathing time, screwing time, and playing time. That’s all the time you need. I don’t need anything fancy, like seven o’clock, to know it’s eating time. And we don’t call eating time a bunch of different names. You’re eating. That’s all you need to know. Humans complicate everything.”
“But what about hunting and killing? Animals do these things.”
“As part of eating, or screwing, but most of us only do it when necessary. Killing takes a lot of energy.”
I was scribbling in haste but he was turning away. “What’s big time?”
“Being born and dying.” He sauntered away, speaking over his shoulder. “Now leave me alone. It’s sleeping time.”
For theme music today, I’m going with Rod Stewarts’s 1989 song, “Forever Young”. I’d never seen the video before. Was living in Germany for the military and didn’t get a chance. Probably could’ve but didn’t watch much television in those days.
Stay positive, test negative, wear a mask as needed by situation, and get the vax and booster when you can. I’m scheduled for the booster next Tuesday. I’ll ask the cats to give you an update once it’s done. Now. Need coffee. Enjoy the tune. Cheers
Michael Seidel, writer 