DIY…Kind Of…

My wife came in with two dish towels. “Look at this. These towels have stains that just won’t come out.” Exasperation was etched into her face. “How can we get these out?”

“Have you tried Mom’s stain remover?”

She brightened. “I didn’t think of that.”

I got out the ‘recipe’. Mom didn’t come up with it but passed it on to us. Mom got it from Hints from Heloise when it was published in the Pittsburgh Press, the evening paper Mom used to get.

Collecting and mixing the ingredients, I used a toothbrush, as directed, and scrubs the spots for about five minutes each. Then I let the stain remover soak a bit and scrubbed more. Presto. After rinsing and drying in the sun, the stains were gone.

The White Paint Dream

I’d been alone in some modern office complex and was pretty happy about it. Then three dour men in gray suits with matching hats arrived and announced that they were there to help. All were white, tall, in their forties. They were going to paint. First I needed to clean the areas to be painted.

I rushed about, cleaning white bathrooms with white toilets. Although everything was already bright white, they were painting everything the same color. What was interesting was that the white walls had sharply and deeply etched swirl patterns covering the walls. I thought the walls were already clean but then was appalled to see that dry urine stained some sections. I hastened to find soap, water, and a cloth to clean it. As I did, I found more such stains. Located in such strange places, I wondered how the hell they came to be there?

As I scrambled to clean, some of the first arrivals began painting. Other men arrived to paint. Some came in and watched me cleaning, making comments about the urine stains.

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