Floofcretion

Floofcretion (floofinition) 1. A product of animal discharges, body ejections, shedding, etc.. Origins: 1846, from A Home Guide for Life with Animals.

In Use: “Michael loved his cats but admitted that their floofcretion — hairballs, shedded fur and whiskers, and litter box donations — sometimes wore him out.”

2. The quality of an animal’s ability to be cautious or reserved. Origins: Middle flooflish from the 14th century.

In Use: “The two puppies were completely different, with Normal being the soul of floofcretion, never barking or whining, always happy and gently playful, while his sister, Abby, terrorized feet, shoes, socks, and furniture, raging with loud barks and growls whenever anyone exercised the temerity to approach the house.”

3. Ability to right to judge, rule, or govern an animal’s sounds, activities, or behavior. Origins: 17th century, noted first written use found in A Book of Rulings for the Governance of Animals in Homes.

In Use: “Many humans think that if they let animals like cats and dogs into their homes, floofcretion is theirs by fiat, but the animals often turn the tables on humans when it comes to matters like what the animal can eat, where they can sleep, what they can attack, when they can race around the house…and other irritating but endearing flooftivities.”

Mileage

My floofy, Tucker, is a mix of long and short black and white fur. Thought a passionate and diligent groomer, he easily mats, so I have a routine of brushing him every night, which he loves, of course: the attention, the brush, oh, the purrs.

Despite all that, he frequently drops clumps of fur as he walks around the house. Watching him ten a dozen steps, I discovered three clumps of fur left on the floor behind him.

Poor thing. Only gets four steps per clump, but he’s a big boi. Your floof’s mileage will vary.

Bedfloof

Bedfloof (floofinition) – 1. An animal who preferred to sleep on a bed, especially a human’s bed.

In use: “The cat was undeniably a bedfloof, getting up to eat, do her toilet business, and drink some water, but returning to bed to groom and then slumber. She looked so sweet, curled up in the middle of the bed, and she was always in the middle.”

2. Shed fur found on a bed after an animal leaves the bed. Related: flooffloof.

In use: “Where the little dog had been curled up asleep was a bedfloof clump that resembled a small clone of the dog.”

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