Tag: satire

Thirstda’s Wandering Political Thoughts

Trump Regime Logic

“The canary in our mine has died,” the foreman reported.

“We’re not going to replace him,” the mine owner replied. “That bird was fraud, waste, and abuse. Never did anything but sit there in a cage. Useless. We’ll save hundreds of pennies by cutting that position.”

The next day, the foreman reported, “Three miners have died.”

“Good!” the mine owner enthused. “Look how much we’re saving on personnel costs. Keep up the good work.”

“All of the third shift are dead,” the foreman reported the next day. “There’s no mining going on today.”

The mine owner clapped his hand and cackled in glee. “That’s great news.”

The foreman stared at him. “How do you figure? Nothing’s being mined. Production is down.”

“Exactly,” the owner replied. “That’ll reduce supplies. With lower supplies, we can charge much more money per ton. In fact, go ahead and lay off everyone else. We’ll shut the mine down and save a fortune in overhead while we sign new deals.”

“Are you sure?” the foreman asked.

“Yes. We’ll be making so much money, you won’t believe it.” The owner’s orange face glowed with excitement. “Trust me, I’m a very stable genius. I know what I’m doing.”

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Munda’s Wandering Thoughts

It’s as I feared: future NAZIs developed time travel.

There is evidence:

Archaeologists Unearth 2,300-Year-Old Sword Decorated With Two Small Swastikas in a Celtic Necropolis

Yes, they found a sword with a swastika. This isn’t the first time a swastika was found in the past. The cover story is that the swastika meant ‘good fortune’ before Hitler adopted it as his murderous regime’s emblem. I think NAZIs going back in time spread a tale that the swastika meant ‘good fortune’ to trick others into using it. Then the NAZIs held secret meetings to spread their hatred, prejudices, sexism, and racism. In fact, going out on a limb, I’ll wager that in some distant far, far, far, far future, we’ll learn that Adolf Hitler and Trump are related. Further, they’re both related to Darth Vader.

But Darth Vader isn’t real, cynics will protest. That’s because that’s what they want you to believe. Vader is real. He just resides in a galaxy far, far, far, far away.

As does Hitler, awaiting his time to return. If you recall, his body was burnd and buried. It was never seen by anyone but Hitler’s staff.

Remember, you read it here first.

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Frida’s Wandering Political Thoughts

A Democratic Party insider told me who the party supports as candidate for the 2028 nominee for POTUS.

“John F. Kennedy.”

I raised a salient objection. “He’s dead. Worse, he’s been buried.”

“True, true, true.”

“You’re not talking about a clone.”

“Of course not. That’d be silly. No, we’re thinking, AI.”

“Articial Intelligence?”

“What else? Listen, if corporations are people, why can’t AI be people?”

“I need to think about that,” I answered.

“Okay, let me tell you more. See if I can convince you. What we did is create an AI that’s modeled on President John F. Kennedy’s thinking. We fed all the interviews which we could find, all his papers, speeches, books, diaries, and journals, along with biographies about him, into a quantum computer. It then developed the ability to replicate JFK’s thinking and speaking, giving us a virtual entity who is just like him. It’s uncanny. Wait until you see it.”

I was shaking my head in skepticism. “It’ll never work.”

“We think it will. He polls very well.”

“I don’t think people are ready for AI to be elected to any office.”

“No, no, turns out that almost 80 percent of likely voters who were polled said they could support AI for president. A majority of voters think that AI is more principled and intelligent than many politicians holding office or running for nomination. In fact, more people are willing to vote for AI than a woman.”

“That doesn’t surprise me, but what about his assassination over sixty years ago? Surely, that’s a drawback.”

“No, no, no. Many people have always believed that JFK wasn’t really killed, that all of that was just a fiction to get him out of office.”

“Even if they believe that, it’s six decades later. He’d be over a hundred years old. Do you really think that people will support a candidate who is over hundred years old after what we endured with Joe Biden?”

My source grinned. “We told them that JFK was cryogenically stored. He’s only fifty years old.”

“They believe that?”

“You’d be surprised what they believe. Just to seal the deal, Elvis Presley is endorsing JFK.”

“Presley?” I laughed. “He’s been dead since — “

“No, no, he wasn’t dead. He was in storage, too. Trust me. We’ve done the research. The numbers support this idea.

“Presley and Kennedy are still alive. Along with Walt Disney and Jackie O. All are alive. They’ve all just been frozen. The time has come for the truth to be told.”

My source leaned forward. “The people are ready for Camelot’s return. JFK will kick Trump’s ass. Remember, you heard it here first.”

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Saturda’s Wandering Political Thoughts

The Trusk Regime elitests are at it again. They’ve already well-established multiple double standards.

Like, there is one set of law, justice, and order for everyone except the wealthy. There’s another for the wealthy. Now Trump and the Grand Ol’ Trump Party has established that they put themselves above the law, even the law enforcement standard meant for the wealthy. Look at Trump’s Oval Office crowing about how much money he made his cronies after his tariff pause. Tsk, tsk, tsk, the people bellowed. Isn’t that illegal insider trading? Not if you’re part of the Trusk Regime.

How ’bout that pesky law that established that the Chairman of the Joint Chief of Staff’s requirements. The law said the nominee must have been a vice Chief of Staff or a chief of staff, of the Air Force or Army, Commandant of the Marine Corps, or Chief, Naval Operations. Besides those rules, he the nominee was commander of unified or specified command, that was accepted.

All of those are four-star positions or higher. Trump wanted a loyalist in there, so that law and its requirements were dismissed. Yet, the compliant Congress installed the retired three-star who Trump wanted. Yeah, that’s good news.

In the latest example of do as I say, not as I do, the Trusk Regime is requiring scientists, biologists, etc., to clean restrooms. If you recall, the Trusk Regime fired 1,000 national park service employees. That was a ‘money-saving move’. That meant that there was no one around to man the gates and clean the parks and clean the restrooms. So that genius called Trump and his surrogates decreed, hey, let’s have the high-priced professionals hired for their research skills go clean the shitters.

See, I wouldn’t have a problem with this, but I haven’t seen the Trump administration doing the same. How many White House staff has been cut? Why isn’t JD Vance and Elon Reeve Musk cleaning the West Wing toilets once a month? Why doesn’t Trump order noted drinker and partier Pete Hegseth or his three-star pet, John Dan Caine, to clean the Pentagon latrines? Peter Navarro should be put to work cleaning Mar-a-Largo’s bathrooms for Trump. Kristi Noem has time to cosplay as a border patrol agent on government time; surely, she can take time to clean some toilets, too.

Or is the Trusk Regime and his minions just too elite to do such work?

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So Hilarious

I shared this with friends. Some replied, “I wasn’t really sure this was satire. Because, you know, Trump.”

Indeedly do, we do understand. Trump can be a nutter! He often says things that prompt many of us to respond, “Whhhaaattt?” Then we embrace the task of dissecting his crazy verbiage to understand what he’s saying and then struggle to pierce the insanity for truth, logic, and reason.

LucN over at Daily Kos gave us a pitch-perfect youarthere performance of the Donald, and it is so funny, I felt it incumbent to ensure others read and enjoy it.

Trump’s plan to introduce honeybee colonies to public school cafeterias goes spectacularly awry

So, read and enjoy! Laughter is good for you, you know.

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Thirsta’s Wandering Political Thoughts

It’s Trump’s morning in America.

“The stock market is down over fourteen hundred points,” my wife greets me.

“Hey girl,” I answer. “Good morning.”

If my wife seems gleeful about the stock market, it’s because she’s angry. Bottom line, she’s in the FAFO camp. Reads ‘The Leopard Ate My Face’ tales daily. Spoons up all those tales about Trump supporters and apologists who are now Trump victims.

Trump said he would do tariffs when he ran for POTUS in 2024. Professional economists have almost all agreed, bad, bad, bad, bad, terrible idea. Trump always thinks he knows better than everyone else. He usually doesn’t. I mean, this is the guy who bankrupted a casino.

Facts don’t matter to Trump. You knew that if you watched his tariff announcement yesterday. He displayed a chart with bogus tariff info. It shows tariffs imposed on U.S. goods. Almost all those supposed tariffs by other countries are inflated by significant amounts.

With almost no surprise, then, worldwide markets dropped after his tariffs announcement.

Some people rationalize what Trump is doing as necessary. They prophesize Trump’s tariffs will bring jobs back to the United States. Factories will spring up like mushrooms after a rain across the nation. And those factories won’t use robotics, as many modern factories do. No, they will employ human, American workers. Even though the U.S. must import many of the raw and finished materials used in modern products, imported materials which will be high-priced due to Trump tariffs, those goods produced in these new factories will be amazingly cheap because they’re made in the U.S.A. There won’t be any profit taking and price gouging, because that’s not how corporations work in the United States. And the workers in those factories will be magnificently compensated for their hourly labor because companies in the United States are known to generously pay hourly employees. Why, it’ll be the greatest economy ever!

If you believe all that, I have an automobile manufacturing plant in Ashlandia to sell you.

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Correction

I apologize, but neglected to give a shout out, so I need to correct that.

The United States went through a time change recently. It seems like it went off without a hitch. In this Age of Enshittification, when minor things are routinely screwed up by PINO Trusk and his regime, we should acknowledge when things go right.

Because it’s becoming pretty rare, in the Age of Enshittification that began January 20, 2025.

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Frida’s Theme Music

Spring continues its bold approach in Ashlandia. Winter will probably bound back in a few days but for now, it’s a beautiful day. 43 F with blue sky and sunshine. At one point in this aging morning, I walked into the kitchen and was met by a fierce shineslam of bright light. Haven’t had that kinda experience in months. The weather ‘they’ tell us we’ll crack 71 F today. But we saw 73 F at my abode’s weather thingy yesterday, so I cautiously hopeful that more the 70s will make it to the show.

This is Friday, February 28, 2025. Yes, the end of the year’s second month has arrived. The third month begins tomorrow. That’s how it used to work. But with PINO Trusk’s shitstorm and the Great Undoing, who knows what it’ll be? Maybe he’ll declare it February 29. Perhaps he’ll get it in his head that if the calendar doesn’t advance, then he’ll never leave office. He’ll just label every day as Trump and then append them with numbers.

No, that’s actually too reasonable and logical for him and his band of broken people.

Today’s song shouldn’t surprise. “Beautiful Day” by U2 came into this world at the turn of the century. Just decades ago, that seems like a far away time. It’s in the morning mental music stream because The Neurons heard me look out the window and say, “Wow, look at that, Papi, it’s a beautiful day.” For the record, Papi the ginger blade, aka Meep and Butter Butt, agreed. Or seemed to. He went out into the sunshine, stretched, and then eyed everything for threats and intrusions.

Hope it’s a beauty where you are, too. No matter what, try to make it a strong day for yourself.

Coffee has now crept into my system, somehow getting in there when I put it in a mug and raised the mug to my lips and tilted the mug back. So here we go, one more time. Cheers

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Food

Daily writing prompt
What bores you?
View all responses

OMG, I can tell you right now that thinking about food bores right through me. Like right now, I’m thinking about a quick snack to sustain me through my writing session. I carry a Kind bar in my computer case for that purpose. But I feel like the hunger is getting sort of urgent, as I can feel it boring through my thinking. I can only imagine how horrible it is for people living in food deserts, where food is not readily available, driving prices up beyond people’s means. How the thought of a good, healthy meal must bore through them. I can imagine them watching another person eat and find it boring through the center of their beings. That’s so sad in a world where so much waste is generated by inefficient distribution systems that depend on capitalism as the foundation to solve problems like starvation.

“Just how much food do Americans waste? Here’s some “food” for thought: While the world wastes about 2.5 billion tons of food every year, the United States discards more food than any other country in the world: nearly 60 million tons — 120 billion pounds — every year. That’s estimated to be almost 40 percent of the entire US food supply, and equates to 325 pounds of waste per person.” 

Yeah, food. It can be so boring. Something to think about as people complain about the price of eggs. Although many won’t.

They’ll find it too boring.

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Saturday’s Wandering Political Thoughts

I admire the GOTP’s restraint so far. The Grand Ol’ Trump Party is forcing the United States back into th 1800s. Yet, they’re still allowing modern inventions like aircraft, cars, and electricity. Of course, we are speaking of Trump. We know his sense of history is as broken as a rusted washing machine in a weed-infested front yard. He probably thinks they had these things back in those days. In his mind, the shootout at the OK Corral in 1881 has a different slant.

The gunfight at the O.K. Corral pitted Cowboys against members of a loosely organized group of liberals and Democrats called Black Lives Matter on October 26, 1881. Wyatt Earp was the town’s sheriff. His buddy, Doc Holliday had just driven in and finished checking in at the local Marriott. They were planning to do a few rounds of golf. You know, to relax.

They were big golfers in those days. One of the reasons I took up golf was because my heroes all golfed. Though none of them are as good as me. I’m one of the greatest golfers ever. I was doing a round the other day with Tiger Woods, Arnold Palmer, and Ben Hogan. You know who they are, right? Pretty good, golfers, pretty good. They asked me, Donald, why didn’t you ever go pro? You could have been the greatest. You are the greatest but your name will be left off the record books because you never went pro. But I had other things I was doing. That’s why I never went pro. I wanted to save America and I knew if I went pro, if I became a golf pro, I might not save America. Not because I didn’t want to or because I didn’t have the time or energy. I always have the time and energy to save America. That’s just how these things go. You know what I’m saying?

Now, meeting with Wyatt, the two were waiting for Wyatt’s brothers, Virgin and Morgan, to get in from the airport. After the men got together, they decided to go have a drink to unwind, before they went golfing. They were walking down the street, minding their own business, when a truck full of thugs drove past, taunting them from the windows and making un-American comments about the Bible. A Black Lives Matter banner hung from the truck’s back window, so you know they’re trouble. They’d just, there had just been a big battle, a war, some might even call it, a civil war, fought over states’ rights to carry guns and worship as they pleased. Led by Dems and Liberals, the Black Lives Matter thugs had fought against the states’ rights, cuz they’re not Christians. The Constitution says to honor thy mother and father, but it also says, obey the good book, that’s the Bible, and the lord, thy God. That’s what that fight was all about, the right to worship like a good Christian as you please. Who wouldn’t want that? Nobody. No American wouldn’t.

Well, Wyatt and the boys saw the thugs park their truck up at the OK Corral Diner. Don’t know if you’ve ever eaten at one of those, but they have really good food there, really great food, all-American offerings like spaghetti and meat balls and pizza. I highly recommend eating there. When the thugs left their vehicle, they tore up an American flag hanging by the diner’s entrance before they went in.

Well, that was too much for the Earps and Holiday. They were strong men. Powerful men, patriotic men. They weren’t going to let thugs like those desecrate the stars and stripes. No way. So they marched right into the diner and confronted the Dems and told them they needed to apologize to everyone for what they’d done to the flag. Of course, the others refused, and there was a shoot-out. And Wyatt and his brothers killed them. It became a famous shoot-out, very famous, very well-known, one of the greatest moments in American history, the shootout at the OK Corral Diner. And that’s what it was about, respecting the American flag. And the Bible.

So that’s Trump’s view of history in America. Next: the GOTP is putting forward a bill to change the names of the months used in the United States. January will be renamed Trumpuary in honor of Trump’s inauguration and the way he saved America. July will be renamed Donald.

That way, we can all celebrate the 4th of Donald.

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