Tag: recurring dream

The Commercial Dream

It’s difficult to characterize and summarize this dream as anything except a commercial break between other dreams.

To my knowledge, this dream began October 21, because I posted about it that morning. Versions of it have been erratically but frequently recurring since then. It’s so short, like thirty seconds when I think about it, I’ve started wondering if I dreamed it or imagined that I dreamed it.

And it’s simple. I dream that I’m standing somewhere. There’s not really a background or place. I’m always younger. I look like I’m in my early twenties. Sometimes I’m bathed in a circle of light and I’m looking down on myself. Other times, I can see myself standing upright a few feet away, dressed, like I’m about to do something or leave. My clothing don’t really stand out. I just know it’s me. Sometimes, I see only my upper self, still dressed, from a few feet away.

In all cases, I then hear a voice. The voice is male and light. It doesn’t remind me of anyone. Sometimes it says, “Swaddle yourself in yellow.” Other times, swaddle is replaced by swathe, coat, or bathe. Yellow light then floods over me.

Only the first one that I remember in this series was different. In that one, I was spreading yellow butter on my forearm.

Then it’s on to other dreams.

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An Old Dream

I think of it as the old dream, but I recall it, too, as the star dream and the blue dream. I’ve had it, or some variation, since I was a teenager, at least in my mind. My memories can be faulty, but I seem to remember being in basic training and having this dream, and remembering that I had it when I was in high school, after I moved in with my father. That thought also brings the dream a new label, the transition dream. I seem to dream it when my life is going through a change. I haven’t had it in a long while.

Roughly, because there are slight variations, but this is the dream experienced or remembered last night, I see a ridge of purple-blue bare mountains. A clear sky is shifting from azure to indigo.

At first I see a single, amazingly bold, bright star above the mountains. Then, I’m on a mountain.

I’m looking at my hand. I’ve made a fist around a cold chunk of lapis lazuli. A large piece, although it’s been tumbled and is smooth, one end is rough. I always think, it was tumbled, and then broke in half.

After seeing the lapis in my fist, I look up. The sky has darkened into a shade of midnight blue. Millions or more stars and galaxies light the sky. It’s so amazing, it transfixes me into staring and wondering about all the existences beyond now.

The dream ends.

I always feel young but pensive in this dream, and elated but thoughtful when I awaken. I don’t know what change I’m going through now. I’m not moving or starting a new job. One of my cats is probably dying (I’d be surprised if he’s alive when this year ends), but that change affects him more than me. I can argue, though, no, it’s the survivors who remain behind after another dies who are more affected (as far as we know), because we, left behind, are dealing with a void.

Writing about it helps me think and understand. I remember thinking the other day, in a moment of pique, crystallizing a decision that I am re-inventing myself. Perhaps I’ve triggered some internal change, summoning the dream.

Maybe it’s all just wistful thinking and vivid imagination. Perhaps that’s all life is.

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