Science fiction, fantasy, mystery and what-not
A small floof,
Who liked to goof,
Was such a funny one.
She liked her people’s bed,
And being scratched on the head,
But really loved the sun.
Kibble was tasty.
And she never ate hasty,
Nor was other food shunned.
Then it was off to sleep,
Another day to keep,
And dreams about all that she’d done.
I never liked you, the cat said with a smile.
I was trying to kill you when I slept on your head.
It wasn’t by coincidence that I tripped you again and again.
Nor were those love bites like you always said.
And the claws weren’t a whim when I scratched till you bled.
And if you believe that, you’ll believe this, too.
I never liked the kibble or any of the other food.
Your treats made me sick though I begged for more.
I didn’t like the tuna which you gave off a spoon.
It was all faked when chicken made me swoon.
And if you believe that, you’ll believe this, too.
I’m a cat and I like games.
I get bored and the days are too much the same.
So I do what I can to keep myself entertained.
Because I’m a cat and this was just another game.
Encountering a friend who just retired, he asked what the other was now doing with his time. “Well,” the new retiree replied, “I’m publishing my second collection of poetry.”
“Great, congratulations.”
“Thank you. I’ve worked on it for twenty plus years.”
“Who is the publisher?”
“I’m self-publishing. After being rejected one hundred twenty-seven times, I just want to get it out there.”
I looked in the closet
Under the bed
And in the clothes basket
And couldn’t find the time
Maybe I’d left it in the living room
Or in the car when I was out the other day
Doing errands, like buying food
It could have fallen out of my pocket
While I was walking
Or taking a nap
So I’d better check the sofa cushions
I retraced my steps
But the time didn’t turn up
I challenged my brain to remember
If I’d loaned it to someone
Or maybe gave it away to the Goodwill
While Marie Kondoing my life
After a while
I tried reading a book
Thinking that maybe by not doing something
And freeing my brain from that weighty effort
Of finding the time
I’ll remember what I did with the time
Because I just can’t find the time.
Floofetry (floofinition) – Sonnets, odes, rhymes, and verses about animals.
In use: “One of the more famous examples of floofetry begins, ‘Oh, I wish that I will someday see, a poem as lovely as a floof, although we know most floofs are goofs, and those who live with them have the proof.'”
Aufloof (floofinition) – A poem or music celebrating pets or animals.
In use: “For example, “A Dog On His Master” by Billy Collins, is an almost perfect aufloof.”
Floofverse (floofinition) – 1. Poetry about animals, especially housepets. 2. A housepet with a base that’s narrower than their top. 3. A pet that has the opposite personality or exhibits the opposite behavior from another.
In use: “The cat and dog came from different places but arrived at the same time. Firecracker, the cat, was all white, social, and energetic, while Drury, the black puppy, was Firecracker’s floofverse in all ways: quiet, shy, gentle, and retiring. Despite this, the two animals loved being together.”
Michael Seidel, writer 