Ode to a Floof

A small floof,

Who liked to goof,

Was such a funny one.

She liked her people’s bed,

And being scratched on the head,

But really loved the sun.

Kibble was tasty.

And she never ate hasty,

Nor was other food shunned.

Then it was off to sleep,

Another day to keep,

And dreams about all that she’d done.

The Game

I never liked you, the cat said with a smile.

I was trying to kill you when I slept on your head.

It wasn’t by coincidence that I tripped you again and again.

Nor were those love bites like you always said.

And the claws weren’t a whim when I scratched till you bled.

And if you believe that, you’ll believe this, too.

I never liked the kibble or any of the other food.

Your treats made me sick though I begged for more.

I didn’t like the tuna which you gave off a spoon.

It was all faked when chicken made me swoon.

And if you believe that, you’ll believe this, too.

I’m a cat and I like games.

I get bored and the days are too much the same.

So I do what I can to keep myself entertained.

Because I’m a cat and this was just another game.

The Writing Moment

Encountering a friend who just retired, he asked what the other was now doing with his time. “Well,” the new retiree replied, “I’m publishing my second collection of poetry.”

“Great, congratulations.”

“Thank you. I’ve worked on it for twenty plus years.”

“Who is the publisher?”

“I’m self-publishing. After being rejected one hundred twenty-seven times, I just want to get it out there.”

Lost: Time

I looked in the closet

Under the bed

And in the clothes basket

And couldn’t find the time

Maybe I’d left it in the living room

Or in the car when I was out the other day

Doing errands, like buying food

It could have fallen out of my pocket

While I was walking

Or taking a nap

So I’d better check the sofa cushions

I retraced my steps

But the time didn’t turn up

I challenged my brain to remember

If I’d loaned it to someone

Or maybe gave it away to the Goodwill

While Marie Kondoing my life

After a while

I tried reading a book

Thinking that maybe by not doing something

And freeing my brain from that weighty effort

Of finding the time

I’ll remember what I did with the time

Because I just can’t find the time.


Floofetry (floofinition) – Sonnets, odes, rhymes, and verses about animals.

In use: “One of the more famous examples of floofetry begins, ‘Oh, I wish that I will someday see, a poem as lovely as a floof, although we know most floofs are goofs, and those who live with them have the proof.'”


Floofverse (floofinition) – 1. Poetry about animals, especially housepets. 2. A housepet with a base that’s narrower than their top. 3. A pet that has the opposite personality or exhibits the opposite behavior from another.

In use: “The cat and dog came from different places but arrived at the same time. Firecracker, the cat, was all white, social, and energetic, while Drury, the black puppy, was Firecracker’s floofverse in all ways: quiet, shy, gentle, and retiring. Despite this, the two animals loved being together.”

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