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Fall Out Floof (floofinition) – Floofmerican hard flock (floof rock) punk band formed in 2001 in Floofcago, Illinois. Named after a character on the television show The Simpsons, the band achieved major success in 2005. Although they went on a four-year break at one point, the band remains active.
In use: “The Fall Out Floof’s major success first came in 2005 with two mainstream hits, “Floof Floof” and “Sugar, We’re Going Floof”.
Diasfloofa (floofinition) – The dispersal or spreading of animals, especially household pets, from one area into several additional areas.
In use: “With a heat dome in place, the animals ate and then a general diasfloofa commenced, with the home’s feline and canine members finding their own personal places to endure the heat in peace and comfort.”
Debutfloof (floofinition) – A young animal being newly introduced to an animal or human society.
In use: “A famous fictional debutfloof occurred in the The Lion King, but many found Fiona, a hippo born in the Cincinnati Zoo in 2017, an equally charming debutfloof.”
Neighborfloof (floofinition) – Animal that lives close to a particular house or location.
In use: “Neighborfloofs included a deer and her twin fawns, the new gray and white cat (name unknown) with a purple collar that seemed to live with the people two houses down who just moved in, an active grey squirrel and trio of jays who were always bickering, the little yapping dog (name unknown, despite repeated orders from his people for him to stop barking), and the black bear that liked to come by for the apples on the tree, where he’d take a nap after eating.”
Floofinese (floofinition) – Type of communication and language that humans employ with other species, especially pets and animals which they find cute or sweet.
In use: “Seeing the fawn, which seemed like it may have been born in the last hour — so small and delicate — she went into full floofinese, with a goofy tone normally used with babies, telling the fawn how pretty it was as the little animal stared blankly back.”
Floofitone (floofinition) – 1. Sound reminiscent of or similar to an animal in distress.
In use: “Hearing what could be a crying animal (maybe a cat), he went outside, but it turned out to be a floofitone caused by a gate open and closed by the wind.”
2. A phone ring sound used to denote an incoming call or message.
In use: “Her phone yipped — the floofitone she employed since acquiring her rescue puppy, aka Hercules — signaling a call from her daughter. Were it her ex-husband, the floofitone was a grunting pig (and for her other ex-husband, the sound was a gibbering monkey), but those were part of another day, another story, another life.”
Aflooftypmatic (floofinition) – Someone who shows no signs of having contact with animals.
In use: “Many people without pets are aflooftypmatic, showing up at work without fur (some call it hair) on their clothing, remaining quiet as others share floofnecdotes.”
Floofpitulate (floofinition) – To give in to an animal or to accept an animal’s choice or decision.
In use: “He wanted to get up but the cat wanted to remain in his lap, so he floofpitulated and took a nap.”
Floofshaming (floofinition) – Behavior used or looks given by an animal that makes people, especially pet owners, feel ashamed or guilty.
In use: “As she sat and ate her sandwich, not even offering Brutus a sniff, the Maine Coon sat there with a floofshaming expression that caused her to turn away so she couldn’t see him.”
Floofbitis (floofinition) – Faked illness brought on by an animal’s behavior.
In use: “She called her friend and told her that she couldn’t go out because she had a flare of floofbitis. After disconnecting, she scratched her dog’s head as he slept on her lap, nibbled a piece of gouda, sipped a little Merlot, and resumed reading the latest Louise Penney novel.”
Michael Seidel, writer 