Science fiction, fantasy, mystery and what-not
Floofevision (floofinition) – Television or movies either created to entertain animals, or containing stories in which animals are heavily featured. Origins: United States, Internet, 1998.
In Use: “As Youtube videos became popular, many floofvision offerings featuring birds coming to birdfeeders were made to entertain housefloofs.”
In Use: “Some very successful floofevision offerings include movies or televisions series such as Gentle Ben, Lassie, and My Friend Flicka.”
Floofogenarian (floofinition) – An older person with an animal or animals. Origins: First known use in 1744.
In Use: “The Railroad District was a serious of very square blocks of houses built in the 1930 filled with floofogenarians who shared their homes with cats and dogs.”
My wife was stewing. “Papi changed his routine today. For some reason, he suddenly wanted outside at 4:22, more than two hours before his usual time. I don’t know what’s going on but there he was, scratching on the door, yipping at me because he couldn’t wake you up.”
Between us, I had been awakened but ignored the floofcas Papi was causing because I didn’t want to get up.
I thought of the reasons why Papi the ginger blade, aka Butter Butt, changed his hours. May have been a bowel movement thing. Papi prefers to use the outdoors as his toilet, frequenting the area by the fence behind the bushes.
But, him being a cat, perhaps he heard noises outside and felt a need to investigate. Conversely, maybe he realized the noises were coming from inside the house and decided that the outside was safer.
Other ideas are possible. Flooflight savings time may have kicked in. From what I understand from floofotologists, floofs are notoriously independent about FST. Each decides when they’ll switch over — or if they won’t switch at all. Often, though, once one floof changes to FST, other housefloofs do the same. After all they don’t want to miss out by falling an hour behind their floofmate, cause food. They’d rather get up an hour early rather than missing out on food.
I can respect that.
Floofbun (floofinition) – Prosifloofic poetry and prose that is about animals or relationships with animals. Origins: Japan, 17th century.
In Use: “One of the earliest recorded floofbuns is ‘The Trail of Shedding Fur’, written in 1784 by an unknown author about their floofs, while a more recent celebrated floofbun is ‘Floof Traveler Floofbun: 1999’ by Ima Katt.”
I thought in depth on this. I retired from the military after twenty years. It was surprisingl easy to say good-bye to it. But I’d been ready to leave it for at least a year. The politics and hypocrisy inherent in the organization disgusted me. Also, leaving wasn’t hard because we rotated every two to four years. Little was permanent, thanks to ‘permanent change of station’ orders. I was deployed to theaters around the world, and the missions changed. While controlling nuclear weapons, war planning, and mitigating the effects of disasters were constant, as were the uniforms, the people were not. We were proficient at ending phases and saying good-bye.
That got me to thinking about how it was really about the people. Leaving IBM after fifteen years was like leaving the military: supremely easy. For the final nine years, I worked from home in southern Oregon. My co-workers were mostly voices on the phone. I’d rarely actually met any of them. My niche was small and I typically dealt with the same ten semi-strangers all week. It was boring, although it could be mentally stimulating, but mostly tedious and empty. Projects would arrive with great fanfare. Then the winnowing would begin. Many projects failed to launch. That was the business.
I left home and family when I was seventeen. Mom’s home was riotous with broken marriages and arguments. When I lived with Dad, he was an absent father. I became adept at being independent.
My wife and I have been together for over fifty years. That’s an ongoing phase. I’ve moved around the nation and around the world. Relatively little remained the same for me. Change was a constant phase.
But we usually had cats. They bonded with me more than my wife, with one exception. These cats became my buddies. At one point, I had six living with me. Another four that belonged to neighbors regularly visited. Now all are gone except one, and he’s getting old.
That’s what phase I guess it’s been hardest to let go of. Each fur friend’s death was so deeply felt that I’m weary of feeling it. My wife said the same and has declared, no more cats. I’m willing to accept that for the moment, but it’s the end of a phase, and a very long good-bye.
Floofscan (floofinition) – A quick glance to spot an animal. Origins: 1973, UK.
In Use: “Bob did a quick floofscan to find his fur friend, fast checking her regular haunts before discovering her in the clothes basket atop darks waiting to be washed.”
In Use: “Many wags who live with cats refer to floofscans as catscans.”
Floofpower (floofinition) Philosophy among animals that uniting despite species, breed, or personal animosity can lead to greater rewards for all animals.
In Use: “With the new year, many people found themselves confronting floofpower as the household furtizens stood up and negotiated for more treats, walks, better food, or improved sleeping conditions and playtime.”
Floofstone (floofinition) 1. A significant point in a relationship with an animal, especially a pet. Origins: 2002, United States, Internet.
In Use: “Many people who help young kittens and cats face a fierce, growling, spitting adversary, and obtaining the animal’s trust is frequently a major floofstone.”
In Use: “A woman spent six months gaining barn cats’ trust, and when they finally came into her house, it was a major floofstone.”
2. Floofstones – an animated carton about a group of prehistoric domestic animals.
In Use: “Many people came to enjoy and even love The Floofstones, thanks greatly to the writers’ deft skills lampooning modern culture in the U.S.”
Monday’s floof has a pretty face.
Tuesday’s floof likes to run and race.
The floof born on Wednesday has an appetite for love,
While a floof coming to life on Thursday is a gift from above.
Friday’s floof is fond of the sun,
And Saturday’s floof exists just for fun.
But Sunday’s floof has a little of all,
Enjoying life and having a ball.
-Ancient Floofverb
Michael Seidel, writer 