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Bad weather keeps floofs inside
Where they race around, slide, and glide
Kicking dust up with their paws
Damaging furniture with teeth and claws
Picking up speed, they race and jump
Making us freeze as we hear a distant thump
Leaving us to wonder and shake our heads
Wishing they’d calm down and go to bed
Flooftiny (floofinition) 1. A small animal.
In use: “The flooftiny they brought home fit into Grace’s palm. They didn’t believe he’d live, but two years later, he weighed over twenty pounds and was a formidable, furry, fun character, not surprising for a Maine Coon.”
2. One or more animals and individuals predetermined by fortune or fate to be with one another.
In use: “The puppy and the kitten came to the house just before Jessica was born. It was like flooftiny that the three individuals would grow up together as best friends, entertaining everyone with their antics and relationship.”
3. An animal’s passive resistance to authority.
In use: “The Husky staged a flooftiny every day, laying down and refusing to walk on the leash in the hot weather.”
TMFF (floofinition) [pronounced ‘timfuf] – Shorthand or slang which means Too Much Floof Fur.
In use: “He looked at the sweater he wanted to wear and mentally noted, TMFF. It’d take time and effort to get all that cat and dog fur off it. The sources watched with smiles at his feet, as if saying, ‘See what we gave you? You’re welcome.'”
Floofspur (floofinition) – Prodding or activity by an animal or person to do something for an animal or to provide something to an animal.
In use: “A classic floofspur is the cat that wakes up before its people and demands that the people rise to feed them now!”
Floofcontent (floofinition) 1. An animal who helps others relax or become less anxious or nervous.
In use: “Maurice is a big dog with a huge bark and an even bark. The floofcontent knows the power of his voice, though, and often softens it to a gentle sound, and loves nothing more than laying down and letting people and animals sleep on and with him.”
2. State achieved from being with an animal, especially a pet, and letting go of fears, worries, depression, and anxiety.
In use: “Aster was the best rescue ever in Karla’s mind. Whenever anything got her down, a visit with her pet made her floofcontent. Without her fur buddy, she was certain that she would have lost her mind or killed herself or someone else by now.”
Floofee Break (floofinition) – A short break to visit with an animal.
In use: “After doing chores, a floofee break with the cat and dog always restored Marc’s spirits. Sometimes he’d take two or three floofbreaks a day. Rainy days could tun into a day-long floofee break.”
Floofspeed (floofinition) – A velocity achieved by animals when they seriously go after something, it’s never been successfully measured but has been estimated to be six billion times the speed of light.
In use: “When he dropped food on the floor, the dog was on it faster than floofspeed, no matter where it was dropped or where the dog was when it was dropped.”
Floofshadowing (floofinition) – Action, sound, or activity which indicates something to come.
In use: “The sounds coming from the bed’s foot was floofshadowing that a floof — probably the dog — was vomiting.”
Floof-à-floof (floofinition) From Floofish, literally one animal facing another.
In use: “Although the cats had ‘shared’ a home for literally seven years, every morning began with a floof-à-floof moment when they squared off in the hallway and yowled their darkest threats at one another as though facing the greatest threat ever.”
Michael Seidel, writer 