Floofuency
Floofuency (floofinition) – Human’s ability to communicate with, understand, or empathize with animals. People with floofuency are often known as whisperers, i.e., horse whisperer, dog whisperer, cat whisperer, etc.
In use: “Some thought Mick’s floofuency came from living with many animals during his life, but in truth, his floofuency emerged when he met his first cat, a tabby the family adopted and named Tiger.”
Floofcological
Floofcological (floofinition) – Mental or emotional state of a person or animal arising from or related to thoughts or worries about animals, or observations about animals.
In use: “Her floofcological state always became anxiety-frazzled when she was forced to go away on visits and not be with her floof friends, although the ability to see and talk to them via a security system helped restore her calm each night.”
FAIS
FAIS (floofinition) – Internet slang which is shorthand for ‘Floof-Activity Interrupted Sleep’, an expression used to convey why people are tired or did not receive a good night of rest.
In use: ‘Despite a hefty cup of caffeinated latte, Barb kept yawning, finally apologizing, explaining, “FAIS. My puppy and cat decided to play tag at three AM, and then a bear started going through people’s trashcans, which made every dog in a square mile join the barking.”‘
Floof Sleep
When he settles for a nap
The floof comes along
Sniffing to confirm his identity
Verifying he’s still alive.
The floof settles in
And then settles again
And again
Draping a paw over his chest
Pushing a furry head against his cheek
Taking too much room
Rendering him captured and immobile
As he relaxes and sleeps.
Awakening stiff but refreshed
He reminds himself again
Sleeping with a floof is the best.
Simplefloof
Simplefloof (floofinition) – 1. An animal with few needs or worries.
In use: “Rocky was a simplefloof, happy with a toy, some kibble, and the company of humans or other animals.”
2. An animal whose foolish behavior or silly personality is often the subject of repeated stories for others’ amusement.
In use: “A sweet simplefloof, Peaky loved playing with a rubber worm but despised how it felt and tasted. She’d bat the toy across the room, then wash her paw before galloping over to the toy again. Whenever she picked it up in her mouth, she immediately dropped it, shaking her head. Yet, she’d pull the toy out of her little toy chest whenever it was put away.”
Wednesday’s Wandering Thought
He didn’t know why they were called ‘hair balls’ or ‘fur balls’. What his cats expelled were little fur logs.
Furgs.
Weaving
He follows, and then he follows.
Each leading and following
Looking to the other to lead and follow,
Pausing to see where the other is,
More comfortable and reassured after knowing this,
Going back to join them, waiting,
Changing paths, creating intersections,
Following and leading,
Friends and not masters,
Weaving memories of entwining lives together.
Floofwrangling
Floofwrangling (floofinition) – 1. To herd, gather, or care for animals, especially pets.
In use: “Fostering kittens and puppies turned Sara into a floofwrangling expert, but her latest little demons were the most energetic and clever clowder she’d ever had.”
2. Arguing with an animal.
In use: “Mara was forced into daily floofwrangling with her Dobie over absolutely everything because the boy was smart and delighted in vexing her, which, ironically, was exactly why she loved him.”
Kankfloofdort
Kankfloofdort (floofinition) – An awkward or embarrassing situation involving an animal.
In use: “Grace was in the middle of secretly giving treats to the scamperbeasts in the kitchen when in walked her dog. A kankfloofdort unfolded as Bear took in the treats and the munching cats, and then stared at her with hurt brown eyes.”
Michael Seidel, writer 