Floofkaesque(floofinition)– Weird, surreal, or unusual noises or actions done by animals. Origins: 1990s Internet, based on Kafkaesque, a word derived from the writing style of Franz Kafka (1883-1924)
In Use: “When Oaou first joined the household, the small ginger whirlwind would come to the room entry where his people and bark like a small poodle, squawk like a parrot, or issue another floofkaesque noise, causing constant wonder about the little cat’s floofstory.”
In Use: “The crow was already friendly if floofkaesque, bringing shiny gifts such as metal tableware, bracelets, single socks, and plastic storage lids in return for the snacks Dee set out for him every morning and evening.”
Recent Use: “Social media provides many floofkaesque scenes, such as a video of a cat, dog, deer, and duck sitting together on the front porch of a person who has no pets.”
Refloofstoration(floofinition) – Fixing or cleaning up after an animal, especially a housepet.
In Use: “Many people discover that having puppies or kittens requires a readiness for frequent refloofstoration as the little gems gain mobility and curiosity and storm around the house, exploring and sometimes damaging rooms.”
In Use: “Award-winning author Mara Buck often writes humorously about her dogs and their adventures, and her need for refloofstoration to put things right again.”
Recent Use: “Many social media posters are all about their rescue and fostering efforts, and the craziness and refloofstoration needed when their charges run amok.”
Hang on tight, fellow Terrans. It’s Tuesday, Jan. 30, 2024. We’re approaching the quadfecta of mid-week, mid-winter, end of month, and mid-quarter. These mids dominate as people and organizations assess where they want to be going compared to how their trajectory is shaping up. The year’s first quadfecta is daunting for some as they address resolutions introduced at the year’s beginning. Hope and optimism either take hits or they’re buoyed to new levels of encouragement.
Another sunny day in Ashlandia, where the buildings are old and the history is average. 64 F now, clouds are sneaking in and milling around, preparing to drop new rain later this afternoon. Temperatures are not expected to descend much below 50 F tonight, though. No word on more snow expected but lower temps are crawling our way later this week.
Papi inspired today’s theme music. Papi is my floofstar, a wondrous mix of furry ginger, cream, and orange fur, pink beans and nose, white whiskers and perfect triangle ears. Although a smart fellow, his friendliness is restrained by wariness and distrust. Whether that’s nature or previous interactions with humans isn’t certain.
I opened the front door to let him in. He did his usual thing, chirping hello at me, zipping an orbit around my legs with his tail up, furry side against my calves, and then whipped into a run on the hardwood floors through the house. Playing with him, I gave mock chase. Hearing me pounding up behind him, he spun into a slide to face me and then reproached me with a short but floofnest mew.
As soon as he slid, The Neurons sang, “Oh my my, oh my my, can you boogie, can you slide?” The 1974 Ringo Starr song launched fully into my morning mental music stream (Trademark coming in two weeks). Naturally I sang it to Papi as he sat beside me and I petted him. Then Tucker — my big black and white bruiser who used to be quite the fighter — meandered up to hear the singing and catch some strokes. Papi emitted a sharply enunciated meow and bolted off for the kibble bowl.
BTW, wouldn’t Kibble Bowl be a good name for a college bowl game? The Kibble Bowl by Purina, playing in the Floof Stadium in Kitty, Oregon. (I didn’t look it up, but I think I made up Kitty, Oregon.) Make sense when you have teams named the Oregon University Ducks and the Oregon State University Beavers. Someone somewhere should also name their teams for cats and dogs. Like, the Bangor Maine Coon Cats or the Jackson South Caroline Pit Bulls.
Stay positive, remain strong, lean forward, and vote. It’s an important election year, one which may require greater quantities of coffee. May as well start now. Here’s the music. Cheers
Comfloofible(floofinition) – Capable of getting along with animals. Origins: 15th century Middle Floofish.
In Use: “Modern animals living in close proximity to humans have developed sophisticated instincts to find comfloofible humans , and their efforts have significantly helped reduce animal abuse.”
In Use: “Whenever animals find people who seem comfloofible, they shower the individuals with trust and affection, welcoming their touch.”
Recent Use: “The neglected dog, freed from abusive former owners, stayed withdrawn until just the right people entered and tested high on the comfloofible scale; then he was ready to leave and go home with someone.”
Floofsicle(floofinition) – Animal who is very cold. Origins: early 2000s, worldwide web.
In Use: “One thing Marta learned early about Felix was that he didn’t like the cold, and would do anything to avoid becoming a floofsicle, from climbing under her bed covers to sleep against her at night, to trying to sit on top of the wood-burning stove, scaring her every time.”
Recent Use: “Severe cold weather often brings stories of floofsicles being saved by other animals or by people, such as the news article from 2019 telling about a black kitten rescued from freezing conditions, or the time a dog was found in freezing weather protecting orphaned kittens.”
Omnifloof (floofinition) – An animal who seems to be everywhere. Origins: 1598, from Medieval Latin.
In Use: “Once escaped from their nursery, the kittens were omnifloofs, ambushing each other in the living room, cavorting down hallways, exploring the bathroom, but mostly, sizing up humans and inspecting what they were up to.”
Recent Use: “His cat had become an omnifloof. He’d see him sleeping in the living room, then enter the laundry room and find him chowing down kibble there, and then enter the bathroom and see him sitting on the rug. Instead of one cat, it felt like he had five, and they were everywhere!” From The Magic Floof.
Floofadverse(floofinition) – Persons or places who are unwelcoming to animals.
In Use: “Despite being public places designed to enjoy nature, parks are often floofadverse, without irony posting signs declaring that ‘no animals’ or ‘no dogs’ are allowed in the park.”
In Use: “One of the apartment building’s other inhabitants was hugely floofadverse, screaming that the tiny gray cat was the devil and on the verge of attacking her, even though the six-pound animal was six feet away and cowering from her screaming.”
Recent Use: “With the rise of service animals, many establishments in the U.S. are relaxing their floofadverse stances, although they frequently had to deal with health and safety regulations which prohibited animals.”
Whipperfloofer(floofinition) – An animal who is floofsumptuous and does not follow norms nor expectations. Origins: Middle fourteenth century, Middle Floof, from Anglo-Floof.
In Use: “Shocking the establish dog, who was used to being the alpha beast, the whipperfloofer took over his bed and basically ignored him when he ordered them to leave.”
In Use: “The three puppies were shy at first but quickly demonstrated they were whipperfloofers, bounding around the room like spirited winds and taking over every inch of furniture within the hour.”
Recent Use: “A man shared a video of a whipperfloofer entering his house, look around, and decide this was their place.”
Floofpike(floofinition) – 1. A route or pathway established by or for animals for their regular use. Origins: Middle English, first use observed in 1678.
In Use: “The backyard floofpike was busy with a big dog following a little following a cat who was following a squirrel.”
In Use: “The cats have established a floofpike through the yard into the neighborhood’s yard through a hole in the fence. Other animals attempt to use it but the cats declare that it was made for cats’ private use.”
Recent Use: “The first big snowstorm of 2024 had people establishing a floofpike for housepets to go out and do their business.”
Michael Seidel, writer 