Eloflooftion(floofinition) – A style of speaking to an animal especially in private.
In Use: “Derek and Hercules were both substantial individuals, when alone at home, Derek always slipped into a squeaky eloflooftion that had the dog pumping his tail in zest and bark with happiness.”
In Use: “Whenever people entered the house and spotted the kittens, they inevitably told the tiny critters how cute the beings were in eloflooftion like they were talking to human infants.”
Recent Use: “Sometimes eloflooftion isn’t needed because the floof and the human both know how much they love and appreciate one another.
An email was forwarded to us by friends who live about two miles away. We’re toward Ashlandia’s southern perimeter, and they’re above the library downtown. It’s a small town.
Good morning HOA – I wanted to reach out and let you all know that the past 2 nights we have had a cougar in the neighborhood. Last night, it unfortunately killed our older cat. We also found a dead raccoon in our yard so I would urge you all to keep any pets inside at night if possible. The cougar seems to be especially active around dusk – It was hunting earlier in the evening yesterday just after 6pm and we had let our cat out without thinking it would be active so early.
It looks to be injured and we have seen it limping. It did not run away when we tried to shoo it away so be aware that if you are near it, it may not run away and may be more aggressive because it is injured and can’t run away easily.
We’re rural, not deeply populated or industrialized. Cougars and bears live in the area along with foxes and coyotes, raccoons, deer, etc. Of course, the cougars and bears are rarer that most of the others, wilder, and carnivores, so they get a sketch more attention than other critters. That it has killed someone’s pet makes me wince for the animal and its owner. Grudgingly I accept, this is part of life, and then my thoughts churn with worry about my own little housefloofs and how much they enjoy going outside.
Floofgetfulness(floofinition) – A condition where things are forgotten or not done because of an animal.
In Use: “He was planning to vacuum the living room carpet but the little kitten was deeply asleep and looked so sweet, he couldn’t bear to disturb the floof and decided he’d do it later. Then floofgetfunless slipped in, and the vacuuming was not done at all.”
In Use: “Enduring a splash of floofgetfulness, Connor left his sandwich out, giving his dog an opportunity to help herself.”
Recent Use: “Demonstrating the profound floofgetfulness of a newby puppy owner, Maurice left the puppy running free in the house while he ran to a store for a few items, and returned to a disaster zone.”
Déjà Floof(floofinition) 1. An animal who reminds people or other animals of another animal.
In Use: “When she saw the kitten available for adoption, Rose experienced déjà floof, because the little character looked just like her old cat, Smudge, which she’d lost the year before.”
Recent Use: “Papi looked nothing like Quinn but the way Papi sometimes behaved frequently triggered déjà floof.”
2. A sense of experiencing or enduring an event with an animal that happened before.
In Use: “The sequence of his dog’s declining health triggered déjà floof for Bob, who dreaded what he knew was going to come.”
Recent Use: “Déjà floof descended on Brenda when she saw her husband notice the hungry young stray cats. Animals in need were always finding him, reducing him to a big softy ready to do everything to save them.”
Floof Rocket(floofinition) – A stunningly fast animal. Origins: United States, 1980s
In Use: “Each kitten displayed unique attributes, but the little female initially called Ruth Bader Kitsburg soon revealed she was a floof rocket, surprising everyone with her explosive speed.”
In Use: “After climbing the fence, it was like the beagle was catapulted away as his owner shrieked for Chester to stop.”
Recent Use: “Claire loved getting into the fenced backyard, becoming a floof rocket with the zoomies.”
Floofkaesque(floofinition)– Weird, surreal, or unusual noises or actions done by animals. Origins: 1990s Internet, based on Kafkaesque, a word derived from the writing style of Franz Kafka (1883-1924)
In Use: “When Oaou first joined the household, the small ginger whirlwind would come to the room entry where his people and bark like a small poodle, squawk like a parrot, or issue another floofkaesque noise, causing constant wonder about the little cat’s floofstory.”
In Use: “The crow was already friendly if floofkaesque, bringing shiny gifts such as metal tableware, bracelets, single socks, and plastic storage lids in return for the snacks Dee set out for him every morning and evening.”
Recent Use: “Social media provides many floofkaesque scenes, such as a video of a cat, dog, deer, and duck sitting together on the front porch of a person who has no pets.”
Refloofstoration(floofinition) – Fixing or cleaning up after an animal, especially a housepet.
In Use: “Many people discover that having puppies or kittens requires a readiness for frequent refloofstoration as the little gems gain mobility and curiosity and storm around the house, exploring and sometimes damaging rooms.”
In Use: “Award-winning author Mara Buck often writes humorously about her dogs and their adventures, and her need for refloofstoration to put things right again.”
Recent Use: “Many social media posters are all about their rescue and fostering efforts, and the craziness and refloofstoration needed when their charges run amok.”
Hang on tight, fellow Terrans. It’s Tuesday, Jan. 30, 2024. We’re approaching the quadfecta of mid-week, mid-winter, end of month, and mid-quarter. These mids dominate as people and organizations assess where they want to be going compared to how their trajectory is shaping up. The year’s first quadfecta is daunting for some as they address resolutions introduced at the year’s beginning. Hope and optimism either take hits or they’re buoyed to new levels of encouragement.
Another sunny day in Ashlandia, where the buildings are old and the history is average. 64 F now, clouds are sneaking in and milling around, preparing to drop new rain later this afternoon. Temperatures are not expected to descend much below 50 F tonight, though. No word on more snow expected but lower temps are crawling our way later this week.
Papi inspired today’s theme music. Papi is my floofstar, a wondrous mix of furry ginger, cream, and orange fur, pink beans and nose, white whiskers and perfect triangle ears. Although a smart fellow, his friendliness is restrained by wariness and distrust. Whether that’s nature or previous interactions with humans isn’t certain.
I opened the front door to let him in. He did his usual thing, chirping hello at me, zipping an orbit around my legs with his tail up, furry side against my calves, and then whipped into a run on the hardwood floors through the house. Playing with him, I gave mock chase. Hearing me pounding up behind him, he spun into a slide to face me and then reproached me with a short but floofnest mew.
As soon as he slid, The Neurons sang, “Oh my my, oh my my, can you boogie, can you slide?” The 1974 Ringo Starr song launched fully into my morning mental music stream (Trademark coming in two weeks). Naturally I sang it to Papi as he sat beside me and I petted him. Then Tucker — my big black and white bruiser who used to be quite the fighter — meandered up to hear the singing and catch some strokes. Papi emitted a sharply enunciated meow and bolted off for the kibble bowl.
BTW, wouldn’t Kibble Bowl be a good name for a college bowl game? The Kibble Bowl by Purina, playing in the Floof Stadium in Kitty, Oregon. (I didn’t look it up, but I think I made up Kitty, Oregon.) Make sense when you have teams named the Oregon University Ducks and the Oregon State University Beavers. Someone somewhere should also name their teams for cats and dogs. Like, the Bangor Maine Coon Cats or the Jackson South Caroline Pit Bulls.
Stay positive, remain strong, lean forward, and vote. It’s an important election year, one which may require greater quantities of coffee. May as well start now. Here’s the music. Cheers
Comfloofible(floofinition) – Capable of getting along with animals. Origins: 15th century Middle Floofish.
In Use: “Modern animals living in close proximity to humans have developed sophisticated instincts to find comfloofible humans , and their efforts have significantly helped reduce animal abuse.”
In Use: “Whenever animals find people who seem comfloofible, they shower the individuals with trust and affection, welcoming their touch.”
Recent Use: “The neglected dog, freed from abusive former owners, stayed withdrawn until just the right people entered and tested high on the comfloofible scale; then he was ready to leave and go home with someone.”
Michael Seidel, writer 