Tag: pets

Neitherfloof

Neitherfloof (floofinition) – An animal who can’t be found where expected, or doesn’t eat or act as expected or desired. Origins: unknown, in use since the first animals began living with humans.

In Use: “Many people with housefloofs have experienced the frustration of neitherfloof when they buy their pets treats, new food, or a new toy, only for their fur buddy to disdainfully walk away from the offering.”

In Use: “The little neitherfloof was a master at hiding in the house, and his human friends could often be overheard as they searched the house, ‘He’s not in here, either.'”

Recent Use: “Neitherfloofs often worry their human slaves when they disappear outdoors and don’t return for days, found neither here nor there.”

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Floofshine

Floofshine – Feelings of joy, happiness, or relief felt when encountering an animal. Origins: Boston, MA, United States, 1964

In Use: “Kai loved encountering Marvel when he got home after being at work. The dog’s grinning face and heavy tail wag was more satisfying than any work project, more relaxing than a glass of wine, and more inspiring than any music he’d ever heard.”

In Use: “Science is still working to verify floofshine’s impact on people’s health, but people with animals as housemates and friends already have a strong idea of the positive impact that floofs deliver.”

Recent Use: “Even after death, floofshine from a departed housefloof can linger for months, thanks to videos, social media, and photographs.”

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Flooftype

Flooftype (floofinition) – Original pattern or model of an animal which all others copy or imitate. Origins: unknown.

In Use: “Barley was the flooftype of a dog as a young woman’s friend, companion, and guard, friendly and joyful with her and anyone she trusts and invites into their circle, but a deadly threat if you menaced or upset her.”

In Use: “The cheesettes were the flooftype of orange kittens — energetic and bubbling with curiosity, getting in trouble in unusual ways, but as sweet as sugar beneath it all.”

Recent Use: “Finding the orphaned baby kitten, the mother quickly became the flooftype of caring mothers everywhere, feeding and caring for the little one.”

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Chunkofloof

Chunkofloof (floofinition) – 1. An overweight animal. (Origins: late 1990s, early world wide web.)

In Use: “Cunning at finding and getting her treats out of cupboards (often aided by the cat), Annie Barkley quickly grew into an adorable chunkofloof.”

2. A large collection of animal toys, tools, or memfloofabilia. (Origins: 2014, “The Official Guide to the Floofiverse,” McMeowing, Barks, and Wings.)

In Use: “Most homes with pets have a chunkofloof, and I’m no exception, with a cupboard full of food, dishes, brushes, and toys for my floofhearts.”

Recent Use: “Monica shared a video of her chunkofloof, China, building up a chunkofloof of things China was stealing form the neighbors.”

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Floofuzzle

Floofuzzle (floofinition) – 1. To silence an animal through sound, motion, treats, food, or intimidation. Origins: Late floofish, the United States, early 1990s.

In Use: “The trouble with floofuzzling Flowerpuss was she was hellasmart and immediately understood that if she threw a noisy flooftrum, Beth would shower her with treats to floofuzzle her.”

2. Anything that attracts and intrigues an animal. Origins: Middle English, 1528.

In Use: “Hearing something downstairs, Titus leaped up and barked up a storm, and then stood at the top of the staircase, staring down into the darkness, tilting his head to one way and then the other, ears flopping, as he attempted to solve the floofuzzle of the noise he thought he’d heard.”

Recent Use: “Crows seem to love a good floofuzzle, and are experts at figuring things out, even using sticks as tools in their problem solving.”

3. Actions or noises which animals make that confuses others. First used in mid-1950s.

In Use: “Boldly the little patchy white tabby marched up to the giant German Shepherd and delivered a swat on his black nose, causing him to draw back, floofuzzled. The dog seemed to be thinking, ‘What is this bold little creature? How did it get into the house? And what is that smell?'”

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Eloflooftion

Eloflooftion (floofinition) – A style of speaking to an animal especially in private.

In Use: “Derek and Hercules were both substantial individuals, when alone at home, Derek always slipped into a squeaky eloflooftion that had the dog pumping his tail in zest and bark with happiness.”

In Use: “Whenever people entered the house and spotted the kittens, they inevitably told the tiny critters how cute the beings were in eloflooftion like they were talking to human infants.”

Recent Use: “Sometimes eloflooftion isn’t needed because the floof and the human both know how much they love and appreciate one another.

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This Is Life

An email was forwarded to us by friends who live about two miles away. We’re toward Ashlandia’s southern perimeter, and they’re above the library downtown. It’s a small town.

Good morning HOA – I wanted to reach out and let you all know that the past 2 nights we have had a cougar in the neighborhood. Last night, it unfortunately killed our older cat. We also found a dead raccoon in our yard so I would urge you all to keep any pets inside at night if possible. The cougar seems to be especially active around dusk – It was hunting earlier in the evening yesterday just after 6pm and we had let our cat out without thinking it would be active so early.

It looks to be injured and we have seen it limping. It did not run away when we tried to shoo it away so be aware that if you are near it, it may not run away and may be more aggressive because it is injured and can’t run away easily.

We’re rural, not deeply populated or industrialized. Cougars and bears live in the area along with foxes and coyotes, raccoons, deer, etc. Of course, the cougars and bears are rarer that most of the others, wilder, and carnivores, so they get a sketch more attention than other critters. That it has killed someone’s pet makes me wince for the animal and its owner. Grudgingly I accept, this is part of life, and then my thoughts churn with worry about my own little housefloofs and how much they enjoy going outside.

We may need to revisit that policy.

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Floofgetfulness

Floofgetfulness (floofinition) – A condition where things are forgotten or not done because of an animal.

In Use: “He was planning to vacuum the living room carpet but the little kitten was deeply asleep and looked so sweet, he couldn’t bear to disturb the floof and decided he’d do it later. Then floofgetfunless slipped in, and the vacuuming was not done at all.”

In Use: “Enduring a splash of floofgetfulness, Connor left his sandwich out, giving his dog an opportunity to help herself.”

Recent Use: “Demonstrating the profound floofgetfulness of a newby puppy owner, Maurice left the puppy running free in the house while he ran to a store for a few items, and returned to a disaster zone.”

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Déjà Floof

Déjà Floof (floofinition) 1. An animal who reminds people or other animals of another animal.

In Use: “When she saw the kitten available for adoption, Rose experienced déjà floof, because the little character looked just like her old cat, Smudge, which she’d lost the year before.”

Recent Use: “Papi looked nothing like Quinn but the way Papi sometimes behaved frequently triggered déjà floof.”

2. A sense of experiencing or enduring an event with an animal that happened before.

In Use: “The sequence of his dog’s declining health triggered déjà floof for Bob, who dreaded what he knew was going to come.”

Recent Use: “Déjà floof descended on Brenda when she saw her husband notice the hungry young stray cats. Animals in need were always finding him, reducing him to a big softy ready to do everything to save them.”

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Floof Rocket

Floof Rocket (floofinition) – A stunningly fast animal. Origins: United States, 1980s

In Use: “Each kitten displayed unique attributes, but the little female initially called Ruth Bader Kitsburg soon revealed she was a floof rocket, surprising everyone with her explosive speed.”

In Use: “After climbing the fence, it was like the beagle was catapulted away as his owner shrieked for Chester to stop.”

Recent Use: “Claire loved getting into the fenced backyard, becoming a floof rocket with the zoomies.”

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