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Floobating (floofinition) – Arguing with an animal even though you speak different languages. Origins: Internet, circa COVID-19 Pandemic.
In Use: “Jessie would raise her voice to make her point floofbating with Spanx but it wasI no damn use because the cat would just get even louder until Jess finally gave up.”
In Use: “Many dogs begin floobating and employing nonverbal language whenever their humans suggest showers or baths.”
Floofturbance (floofinition) – 1. The act of an animal interrupting an activity or a state of calm. Origins: 13th century, Flemish Floofish
In Use: “The summer’s peaceful evening broke up with a floofturbance out front as two dogs staged a bark-off.”
In Use: “Knowing it would gain attention they could leverage for what they wanted to get, the three house floofs comenced a floofturbance.”
2. Disrupting an animal’s repose or usual procedure or order.
In Use: “A glass bowl slipped out of Becca’s hands and fell to the floor, shattering with an ear-splitting sound and created a floofturbance which sent the cats and dogs sprinting in four different directions — except for Arnold, who leaped up and emphatically barked, “Woof,” just once.”
Occuflooftion (floofinition) – An activity engaged with an animal. Origins: 14th century French floofish.
In Use: “Derek declared himself as ‘not a cat person’ to his wife but after the kittens came and demonstrated an aggressive and fearless willingness to attack anything, Derek’s primary relaxation at home became an occuflooftion like feeding the cats, playing with them, or napping together.”
In Use: “As Barb aged, she adopted an energetic puppy, and walking him become a time-consuming but enjoyable occuflooftion.”
Floofibuster (floofinition) – Action by an animal which presents actions from being advanced. Origins: 1851, southern United States.
In Use: “Hissing and growling cats floofibustered the people from entering the room more than the door’s threshold, putting a pause to the tour.”
In Use: “Atlas leaped up, barking and growling at the doorway, floofibustering Suzanne’s plans to go to sleep without first taking the bat to see what was going on.”
Humfloofbo (floofinition) – A practice used by animals to help develop relationships with people. Origins: Old Floofish. Modern scholars theorize the word means ‘human-floof-bond’ but no evidence has been brought forward to support that idea.
In Use: “Humfloofbo evidence is experienced by many every day, and cell phones and social media help spread awareness of its existence.”
In Use: “Many young floofs such as kittens or puppies attempt early humfloofbo efforts by nuzzling, licking, or biting humans while elephants will use trunks to stroke people as part of their humfloofbo.”
Floofmerge (floofinition) – 1. Cover with animals. Origins: 1697, widely used in Europe.
In Use: “People with new puppies or kittens can swiftly discover themselves to be floofmerged.”
2. A union of several animals, generally of different species. Origins: 1931, Budafloof, Hungary
In Use: “Animal Farm, an allegorical novella published in 1945 depicts a floofmerge on a farm where animals take over and rule.”
Floofbat (floofinition) – Activity characterized by an animal battling a machine, mechanical device, or inanimate object. Origins: Internet, circa 2020-2024
In Use: “Refusing to yield to the robot floor cleaener, the cat engaged in minimal floofbat with it.”
Floofnomen – The name by which an animal or animals refer to people. Origins: Roman empire.
In Use: “Many people mistakenly believe that cats reduce people to their roles, i.e. can-opener or spare human one, but almost all floofs give human specific floofnomen, although the floofnomen can often translate to things like ‘primary food giver’ and ‘the door man’.”
In Use: “Michael didn’t know it but his floofnomen among his cats was Mrupew, which was like an amusing sound to him, but which translates to ‘warm body person’ in Floofish.”
Defloofmation (floofinition) – Change for the worse, or alteration of a form or shape due to animal activities, presence, or behavior. Origins: Mid-twentieth century, United States, New England.
In Use: “After three cats joined the household, significant defloofmation was seen on the carpet, sofa, and a couple chairs.”
In Use: “Jet’s defloofmation of the backyard included his racing path, where he went out every morning and did laps through the grass.”
Michael Seidel, writer 