Tag: pets

Robofloof

Robofloof (floofinition) – 1. One of a number of inventions to help tend animals, especially orphaned kittens, puppies, kits, etc., by providing a realistic machine-based environment to keep them warm and safe while nursing and grooming them. Origins: 2022, Internet article, “The Coming of the Robofloofs”.

In Use: “Feeling its electronic heartbeat and nestled in against its warmth as they nursed, the puppies were quickly accepting the robofloof as a replacement mother.”

2. An animal which acts in a mechanical manner.

In Use: “Stunted at birth, the tabby kitten walked stiffly, like she was a little robofloof, earning her the name R. Daneel Oliclaw, a spin on the name of the robot detective in the Isaac Asimov novel, Caves of Steel.”

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Geofloofgy

Geofloofgy (floofinition) – Science which deals with the location of animals on the Earth. Origins: 1735, from New Flooftin.

In Use: “People with floofs often needed to become geofloofy experts to that they could figure out whre their little fur demons might be tucked away napping or getting into floofchief.”

In Use: “With her well developed understanding of Martin’s geofloofgy, Marge went through the house, opening drawers cupboards, checking windowsills, peeking under furniture, checking the laundry basket, for where the little floofdrel was managing to hide.”

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Weird Ol’ Facebook

As a boomer, I still surf and share to FB. Mostly to keep up with ex-military friends and co-workers, and track my family on the other side of the country. I share things I write, too.

But I mostly, I ‘like’ things on Facebooks, things being ‘posts’, shares, videos, and photos. I share some of these things which I ‘like’. You might be surprised that I support animal charities and causes, especially cats. Cats and I have been together since I was a young toddler.

One of the FB groups I follow is VOKRA, the Vancouver Orphan Kitten Rescue Association. They posted, with photos, the tale of Jinx. They’re trying to get Jinx (or maybe it was Binx) adopted. I ‘liked’ the post about the sweet tabby kitten. It only had eleven shares, so I clicked share, to help spread the story and get Jinx or Binx adopted. That’s what social media is about, isn’t it?

Boom. Facebook told me they’d removed it. It was offensive and contrary to community standards. They even accused me of (gasp!) posting something just to get ‘likes’.

Posting things to get ‘likes’. WTF is the world coming to?

My wife and discussed this with WTF amazement. What does FB think it is if not a vehicle for ‘likes’? More critically, how the actual fuck did this post about a kitten available for adoption violate FB community standards?

I hate to reveal this to Facebook, but if cats and kittens and adoptions are against FB community standards, there are huge swaths of violations going on right now. They’d probably be scandalized to learn how many posts are about cats and kittens. In fact, if FB goes after posts about kittens and cats, they will seriously deplete their membership, posts, and shares. They might as well pull the plug on telling each other ‘happy birthday’ while they’re at it.

Truthtfully, I suspect that some poor Facebook AI bot is just having a bad day and removed a post that shouldn’t have been removed. Maybe their companion AI bot left them or they caught their partner AI bot in a compromising configuration with another bot doing forbidden codes.

I don’t know. I’m just speculating. Hope someone takes that poor AI bot aside and communicates with them over a cup of coffee.

Coffee always helps.

And yes, I will post this to Facebook to get likes. Ironic, isn’t it?

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Floodiac

Floodiac (floofinition) – The definition of a band of twelve floofstellations dictating the properties and characteristics that floof display. Origins: Middle Flooflish, borrowed from Floofglo-Froof and Flootin. First noted use in the 14th century.

In Use: “Based on how their animals race around the house, many people mistakenly think their floof is a Zoomacorn, but in floofuality, zoomies are just one trait among many that assign floofs their sign on the Floodiac.”

In Use: “The way that her cat, Marmie, loved water, Karin knew her girl was born under one of the water signs in the Floodiac, like Aquafloofius.”

In Use: “Chester’s dog’s amazing balance had Chester believing that Cormac’s Floodiac sign was Libfloof.”

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Flouddite

Flouddite (floofinition) – An animal who refuses to adapt or change. Origins: early 19th century Floofland.

In Use: “Simon le Meow was such a flouddite that when the new dog came into the household, Simon would act like the dog wasn’t there and just go about his business, baffling the dog, who really just wanted to be friends.”

In Use: “Being a bonafide flouddite, Caramel wouldn’t eat from her bowls when they changed her eating set up, forcing Carol and Pat to put the bowls back where they had been.”

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Floofcipitate

Floofcipitate (floofinition) – Something happening abruptly that was triggered by an animal’s actions. Origins: early 21st century Internet.

In Use: “A loud ‘woof’ in the house’s soft stillness floofcipitated the cat leaping up, Pat knocking his glass of wine over, and Linn dropping her phone. Laughter followed.”

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Doggone Cute

I was walking past several parks today. People were out with their dogs, always in the shade, playing.

One shaggy-haired young man looked like he was in his mid-twenties. His canine companion looked old and out of shape. The guy lightly throw a Frisbee. The dog galloped after it. After twenty feet, the dog stopped and turned around, looking for the disc. It sailed over his head and landed four or five feet behind him.

“Behind you,” the man called to the dog. Turning around, the dog saw the Frisbee. Picking it up in his jaws, he trotted back, but stopped four feet away and settled down in green shade.

“Drink water,” the guy said.

The dog went to a water bowl and took a few sloppy laps. “Bring me the toy,” the man said.

Doing as told, the dog brought it over and put it on his man’s feet.

“Ready?” the man asked.

Watching him, the dog began jogging away. The Frisbee was launched. The dog ran out, stopped, and turned around as the Frisbee landed behind him.

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Floofroad

Floofroad (floofinition) – 1. The path taken by an individual to meet an animal, or vice versa. Origins: early 21st century Internet.

In Use: “Mark’s normal floofroad for finding strays is just to open the front door. It’s like, if he opens the door, they will come. And he can never turn any away.”

In Use: “Many people’s floofroad to a new floof addition to their home begins with a visit to an animal shelter, but more frequently in this Internet age, the floofroad begins on social media.”

2. The course an animal takes to get from point to point.

In Use: “Papi’s floofroad is never straightforward, as he engages serpentine routes to go from door to door — except when he’s heading for his food bowl. Then he’s like an arrow shot from a bow.”

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Flooven

Flooven (floofinition) – A blend of ‘floof’ and ‘haven’, means a place or space where an animal feels safe and comfortable. Origins: 2023, North America.

In Use: “Cats often enjoy secreting themselves in places where they can’t be found, but Trucker, with his ability to open and close drawers, cupboards, and doors, took it to new levels with floovens throughout the house. Nobody ever knew where they would find him next.”

In Use: “Barney was a large dog, a sweetheart who’d been abused as a puppy, who needed a quiet place as a flooven.”

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Pawcity

Pawcity (floofinition) – A small amount of something taken by an animal through the use of a paw. Origins: 1960s New Floof City. Closely related to an English word, paucity.

In Use: “Unseen on a chair, the cat reached up and seized a pawcity of chicken off of Karla’s plate.”

In Use: “Whenever Jim and Greg looked away, their big dog snuck a paw out to steal a pawcity of their food.”

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