Floofpers (floofinition) 1. A general term given by animals to the human collective that takes care of them. Origins: Worldwide web, late 1990s.
In Use: “Have some rough experiences as a puppy, Thor remained wary of the floofpers, whether they were offering pets, treats, shots, or shelter and friendship.”
2. Anyone who takes care of animals.
In Use: “Robert had never planned to be a floofpers, but as they often say, there’s a floof distribution system, and it usually delivers the right animal to the right person.”
Treazooms(floofinition) – The excited and happy activities, such as racing around, dancing, and singing, animals exhibit when they receive or are going to be given a treat. Origins: 21st century Internet circa 2023.
In Use: “As soon as he brought out the treat pouch, Musk (no relation to Elon) went into protracted treazooms that covered the living room, dining room, and kitchen.”
Joie de Floof(floofinition) – The intense joy or sense of vitality that an animal can deliver in a situation. Origins: France, 1889
In Use: “Gadget was a tripod but with a joie de floof that overwhelmed all in his sphere, and the videos of him soon had millions of hits.”
In Use: “After a tiring day, Duke’s singular joie de floof revitalized Dija and helped her shed the frustrations and irritations of that enforced pastime called ‘work’.”
Floofpes (floofinition)– Internet slang. Literally, ‘floof tropes’, overused cliches and outmoded themes about animals. Origins: Worldwide Web, early twenty-first century.
In Use: “One floofpes children often heard as they grew up was that they were ‘fighting like cats and dogs’, which many of them doubt as they see videos or personally witness dogs and cats getting along very well.”
Neofloofthic(floofinition)– Belonging to a previous animal and now outmoded. Origins: 1865, Sir John Floofbock.
In Use: “She thought that the dog’s toys were neofloofthic relics of another era when she began taking care of her daughter’s cat for two weeks but on the first day, the cat was attacking everything that the dog used to play with.”
Pecfloofniary (floofinition) – Of or related to the money spent on an animal, or an animal’s worth.
In Use: “After Jared spent money on his floof’s medical needs, many people focused on the situation’s pecfloofniary aspect, but to him, his dog’s companionship was priceless, and he would prostitute himself if it brought in the money for his dog’s medicine, surgery, and x-rays.”
A front has driven in, strewning clouds of different complexities over Ashlandia, giving us variables in lights, shadows, temperatures, and expectations. Sumumn still holds but it’s beginning to look like autmer as trees flirt with new colors in their leaves. Only dropped to the high fifties last night, and today’s high temperature will spank 90 degrees F.
This is Monday, September 23, 2024. You understand that 2024’s ninth month is closing out and there are but 94 days until Kwanzaa, 93 days until Christmas, and 93 days until Hanukkah? There’s also only 43 days until the U.S.’s 2024 elections. Things are getting tight.
Tucker (pronounced Tuck-ah) inspired today’s musical choice, although coffee contributed. Having indulged in my first hit of black goodness, I saw Tucker came out from eating. Moving slow, his eyes were mostly closed and his tongue was busy going over his whiskes and mouth. Sitting, he commenced to watching.
That’s when The Neurons or somebody caused me to sing, “Tucker. I just fed a kitty named Tucker.” This was done to the tune of “Blue Jean” by David Bowie. Right after that, the 1984 song fired up in my morning mental music stream (Trademark dished). It’s a catchy little Bowie number, jaunty with memorable lines which don’t convey any great depths. How did he do that?
Stay positive, confident, and strong. Lean forward and vote blue in 2024. Coffee has been served in the office; here’s the music. Cheers
Near Floof Object(floofinition) – Any object which orbits or lands within a floof-specified zone. Such Near Floof Objects (NFOs) can be deemed by the floof to be a threat or hazard and needs to be attacked, or potential food which needs to be eaten. Origins: 1981, NAFA (National American Floof Administration) report on NFOs: “Sniff, Eat, Warn”.
In Use: “Some floofs are floofadaisical about Near Floof Objects, allowing something to come as close as four inches before stirring themselves to take action, but Dynamo believed anything in the same house as him was a NFO, and would sniff it, warn it with loud repetitive barks, and try to eat it if its barks didn’t scare it away.”
Floofzantine(floofinition) 1. A complex animal. Origins: first noted on the Internet in the early twenty-first century.
In Use: “Little Serenity was a floofzantine, one moment a peaceful sweetheart, twisting into yowling destructor without even the benefit of a three-second countdown, making it difficult to engage with her for more than fifteen minutes at a time.”
2. An intricate or complex arrangement for animals.
In Use: “Living with fifteen rescued cats, a floofzantine structure was set up for the cats’ entertainment — which also entertained the homeowner.”
Confloofgence (floofinition) – The coming together of floofs; a unity among floofs. Origins: first noted use in New Floofland, 1860.
In Use: “The dog, cat, and kitten sitting together on the kitchen floor waiting to be fed was a moment of pleasing and historic confloofgence for Kamala, who never thought she’d see harmony among the floofs.”
Michael Seidel, writer 