Tag: pet humor

Flooflife

Flooflife (floofinition) – 1. The attention span an animal will give device, event, or command. Origins: United States mid-twentieth century.

In Use: “The flooflife for Sophia’s cats watching birds out the window was a few hours long, much longer than the flooflife for any of their toys.”

In Use: “Puppies and kittens typically have a flooflife measured in seconds when it comes to playing with things, often discarding one object to chase another.”

2. An existence spent living with or around one or more animals. Origins: Europe, early 1800s, derived from middle floofish.

In Use: “Feeling trapped by restrictions during the COVID-19 pandemic, many Americans adopted a flooflife, welcoming animals into their homes from shelters to help assuage boredom and loneliness.”

In Use: “People adopting animals find that a flooflife can get complicated, depending on the animal’s personality, habits, and sometimes, their new pet’s neurosis.”

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Flooflial

Flooflial (floofinition) – Relating to, befitting, or of an animal. Origins: From the flooftin, floofius.

In Use: “Many people must address their flooflial obligations when they’re planning vacations or hosting gatherings.”

In Use: “Paul Santell developed a flooflial routine, carrying food to feed strays, eventually feeding and saving thousands of cats.”

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Mindfloofness

Mindfloofness (floofinition) – Practice of keeping awareness of what animals are doing, or their locations. Origins: circa 1430, Republica of Floofica.

In Use: “Leading the floofsitter around the house, Barb told her, ‘You need to exercise mindfloofness with this gang, because the dog will get a notion to do something, and then get the cats involved, and the next thing you know, it’s floofhem.'”

In Use: “Whenever the doorbell rang, Tessa needed to immediately have more mindfloofness, because both the cat and dog loved ambushing visitors in a secret little game which they seemed to play.”

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Floofstulfying

Floofstulfying (floofinition) – The dulling or inhibiting effect an animal may have on others. Origins: 2020, United States (Internet), first noted during the COVID19 pandemic.

“In Use: “People who began working at home during the pandemic learned firsthand of floofstulfying as their pets came around and undermined their work effort.”

In Use: Awakening with a zest for work, floofstulfying overtook Pam’s plans as she played with the rescue kittens.”

In Use: “Productivity is sometimes compromised by floofstulfying as people watch videos of animals on the net.”

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Floofnomen

Floofnomen – The name by which an animal or animals refer to people. Origins: Roman empire.

In Use: “Many people mistakenly believe that cats reduce people to their roles, i.e. can-opener or spare human one, but almost all floofs give human specific floofnomen, although the floofnomen can often translate to things like ‘primary food giver’ and ‘the door man’.”

In Use: “Michael didn’t know it but his floofnomen among his cats was Mrupew, which was like an amusing sound to him, but which translates to ‘warm body person’ in Floofish.”

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Floofumnavigate

Floofumnavigate (floofinition) – 1. To go around an animal blocking a path. Origins: First use observed in England, late 1940s

In Use: “Most housefloofs scurry to safety when the vacuum cleaner or sweeper is powered up, but Onyx barely cracked open an eye, forcing Barb to floofumnavigate Onyx while cleaning.”

In Use: “Whenever meals were being prepared, Bishop planted his large body in the kitchen’s entrance to observe, forcing everyone to floofumnavigate the white dog’s mountain of a body.”

2. To follow an animal as though it is a guide.

In Use: “Floofumnavigating the yard behind Bailey was always fun and different as the dog zigzagged the landscape, nose down, sucking up smells and looking for sources.”

In Use: “Cookie was a superb mother, floofumnavigating the room as her kittens began their first waddling explorations under her unflinching vigil.”

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Floofturb

Floofturb (floofinition) – 1. An animal which interrupts an activity. Origins: 14th century Middle Floofish.

In Use: “Marmalade is a known and famous floofturb. Interrupting the making of a bed is one of his floofcialies.”

2. An animal which causes worry or anxiety. Origins: late 20th century world wide web.

In Use: “Her propensity for roaming the neighborhood earned Patience many friends but also floofturbed her people with endless worry about her.”

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Infloofpacitate

Infloofpacitate (floofinition) – Movement, positions, or activities limited by an animal or animals’ presence. Origins: Early Common Floof Era, from Middle Floofish. First noted use in England, circa 600 CE.

In Use: “Many people find themselves infloofpacitated by an unwillingness to disturb a furry friend napping on their body”

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Apfloofrition

Apfloofrition (floofinition) – A rare or unusual appearance of an animal.

In Use: “People enjoy sharing photos and videos on Flooftube of apfloofritions, particularly cats showing up in their house, when they don’t own a cat!”

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Floofcast

Floofcast (floofinition) – 1. A production about an animal available to the public for entertainment or informational purposes. The production may be posted to the net on social media or presented via cable or satellite communications.

In Use: “Many social media users end up creating and sharing interesting or amusing floofcasts about their pets or rescues and share them on the net, such as Owl Kitty.”

2. An advisory from an animal that something is on the verge of happening.

In Use: “At 9:03 AM one Sunday morning, Sandi’s dog leaped up and urgently barked. Then he grabbed Sandi’s hand and lead her to another room. An instant later, a large tree crashed into the room where Sandi had been sitting. If not for Barkley’s floofcast, Sandi may have been injured or killed.”

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