Science fiction, fantasy, mystery and what-not
Barrafloofa (floofinition) – Animal known for its fearsome appearance and ferocious behaviour.
In use: “Normally friendly as a happy puppy, raised voices always summoned Herc’s inner barrafloofa. The family quickly learned not to do that, or argue, around the big dog, because Herc the barrafloofa wasn’t going to tolerate it.”
Beatflooftudes (floofinition) – The blessings of sharing a life with animals.
In use: “Blessed are those share their homes with cats, dogs, birds, fish, and other creatures, for their spirits are nourished with love.”
Catering to his beloved pet’s needs, he opened the back door for his ginger feline. “Go on, then. I’m telling you, it’s freezing out there. You’ll be sorry. You’ll want back in after a few minutes.”took
Despite sunshine, icy air was rushing through the open door. Tail up, the cat bounced forward with a posture that called forth a heroic flourish of trumpets.
Halfway out, the cat went still, paws caught in motion.
“In or out,” he snapped. “Come on, cold air is filling the house, and all the heat is getting out.” He could hear the furnace kicking on. “Damn it — ”
The cat chittered. An enormous scrub jaw was hopping about the icy grass. Apparently seeing the cat, it flapped it wings with an outraged screech and took flight.
The cat ran out but the bird was gone. The cat scowled back at the man with an irritated tail swish (oh, yes, cats can scowl). He was clearly saying, “I could have gotten him if you hadn’t rushed me.”
“Right,” the man replied with a dismissing snort. “That bird was bigger than you. Let me know when you want back in.” He closed the door as the cat walked away, tall up, all forgiven, searching the yard for another distraction.
Edfloofcate (floofinition) – 1. The process of delivering knowledge, particularly about rules, to animals.
In use: “You’re a new cat, so let me edfloofcate you to the house rules,” he said. “Number one, it’s my house and my rules.”
2. The process of training humans to understand that animals make their own rules.
In use: “Sitting down, the cat regarded the man with bemused eyes. Time to edfloofcate him about the truth about his house and his rules.”
Floofvesting (floofinition) – 1. Subscribing and participating in activities and investments which focus on improving animals’ existences.
In use: “Smart floofvesting begins with diet, as many pet owners have learned, as scandals revealed pet food ingredient scams which had dire impact on their pets’ health.”
2. To have a live animal (or animals) draped over you like a blanket, jacket, or sweater.
In use: “Settling down to read required no formal notice; floofvesting began within seconds as the cats and dogs found spaces on his legs, chest and abdomen, and made themselves comfortable.”
Bullfloof (floofinition) 1. A male herbivore who is accepted and kept as a pet.
In use: “Seymour was Marshall’s bullfloof, a rescue who would always be his buddy, and no amount of exasperation from his father about how wrong it was would ever change that.”
2. Nonsense or foolish talk about animals.
In use: “Many people still adhere to the bullfloof that animals are dump, incapable of empathy, and lack the feelings of a human.”
3. Animal nonsense that they expect people to take seriously.
In use: “The house was a wreck, and the cat and the dog, side-by-side on the sofa, tried to sell the bullfloof that they had no idea what’d happened by giving wide-eyed, innocent stares of the, “Who, me?” variety.”
Cyberfloof (floofinition) – Any activity involving a computer and an animal, especially housepets.
In use: “A cyberfloof isn’t a pet that’s using a computer to commit a crime (although many animals seen in pictures and videos on the net often steal our hearts).”
“Cats and dogs often turn themselves into cyberfloofs, sitting on keyboards, or blocking monitors, because they’ve noticed that this other creature is stealing their human’s attention.”
Floofmosphere (floofinition) – The air of interest and attention in a locality dominated by animals, especially housepets.
In use: “When she opened a bag of cookies, the floofmosphere changed dramatically; sleeping cats and dogs opened their eyes, turned their heads, pricked up their ears, and waited.”
Floofedly (floofinition) – In a manner that shows tenacity and grim persistence.
In use: “The dog floofedly sat at the window, waiting for anyone — human, animal, squirrel, or mailmeat — to trespass on her walk.”
Floofdalize (floofinition) – Deliberate damage or destruction done by a housepet.
In use: “Once again, the cats and dogs had floofdalized her home, overturning the trash can and spreading its contents and wiping out her house plants. Of course, none of the floofdals were in sight; they were too smart for that.”
Michael Seidel, writer 