Floofulus (floofinition) – Mathematical study and analysis by animals.
In use: “Employing floofulus seems natural to pets, as they often employ it to understand how they can steal pizza and other food without being stopped.”
Comfloofmanship
Comfloofmanship (floofinition) – Animal practice or philosophy that every human deserves to be accompanied by an animal, preferably 24/7, for protection and comfort.
In use: “After growing up alone on the streets, the puppy found a human to take them in and decided to embrace comfloofmanship as a way of life, following ‘his’ human everywhere she went while monitoring everything that she did.”
Flooferee
Flooferee (floofinition) – Individual responsible for ensuring the rules during play, disagreement, or fight between animals are obeyed.
In use: “Hissing and yowling erupted in the dining area. Leaping up, Cyndy prepared to put on her virtual flooferee uniform and intervene.”
Floofstream
Floofstream (floofinition) – 1. The ideas, behavior, or attitudes that are regarded as normal or conventional for animals.
In use: “Floofstream beliefs (or was it baseless myth?) claimed the dogs and cats should be at one another, but her dogs and cats turned that belief on its head with their partnerships. Several of the cats even seemed to like the dogs better than other cars. No doubt, they seemed to like the dogs better than her, too, except when it was time to eat.”
2. The dominant trend in animal society.
In use: “As the idea that humans could be trusted, and even exploited to their advantage became more floofstream, animals began searching for new ways to improve animal-human relationships and build their partnership.”
Pet Habit
When things are dark and all’s asleep,
he seeks the comfort of my feet.
When the day is warm and the insects drone,
he likes to lie beside my toes.
When I sit down to read or eat,
there he is again, settling on my feet.
Floofcede
Floofcede (floofinition) – When an animal formally withdraws.
In use: “They’d acquired her as a kitten, but when she was two, she floofceded, taking up residence in the neighbors’ home; there were more animals there (especially cats) but she felt like she was treated better and respected more, so she stayed, ignoring her people’s calls.”
Confloofgation
Confloofgation (floofinition) – An assembly of animals, sometimes for worship services.
In use: “Forced to leave work and go home early due to the coronavirus, Karen opened the front door and discovered a confloofgation in the living room. Among the confloofgants were squirrels, neighbors’ dogs and cats, robins, jays and sparrows, and a fox and a deer. At the head of the room was her white cat, for all the world looking like someone who’d been interrupted delivering a sermon.”
Neighfloof
Neighfloof (floofinition) – Animal that lives nearby; pet that belongs to a nearby house.
In use: “Although a neighfloof (who belonged to the man next door) (the cat used to belong to the girl next door, but the girl grew up, graduated, and left, leaving her cat behind), the friendly little tortie had house privileges, sleeping on the bed and cuddling on laps.”
The Floof Second Rule
The Floof Second Rule (floofinition) – An animal’s right to take something if it’s not in use or looked at for one second (+/- .5 second margin of error).
In use: “Using the floof second rule, the cat took a piece of lunch meat, hopped off the table, and left.”
Floofciprocity
Floofciprocity (floofinition) – The practice of mutually exchanges items, kisses, or hugs between animals or humans and animals.
In use: “Most floofciprocity between humans and animals come during affectionate exchanges, but be forewarned, some cats end the floofciprocity with the flick of a tail.”
Michael Seidel, writer 