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Fasfloofious (floofinition) – Showing excessive care, attention, or delicacy in an animal’s movement or behavior.
In use: “He is the most fasfloofious of floofs, luxurious extending and stretching each leg one by one before arching his back, yawning, and floofing out his thick, floofy tail before he finally acquiescing to walking.”
Comfloofatorial (floofinition) – Of or relating to the operation on, arrangement of, and selection of discrete animal elements belonging to finite sets or making up geometric confloofurations.
In use: “Although comfloofatorial possibilities are considered and employed when animals decide where to sleep, addressing aspects such as exposure, sunshine, warmth, and security, food — especially treats — offerings tend to shift animals’ strategies.”
Floof Offering (floofinition) – 1. An item or food presented to an animal to win their affection, gain their trust, demonstrate their love, or mollify their anxiety.
In use: “People often use pet treats as floof offerings just because it seems to make their pets so damn happy.”
2. A gift or item brought to people by an animal for reasons only clear to the animals, but most likely to win their affection, gain their trust, or demonstrate their love.
In use: “Each day when they went walking, her dog immediately went off to find a stick and bring it to her. Sometimes the floof offering was a log or branch, and other times the floof offering was a twig, but the dog was always pleased to give it to her.”
Floofchuck (floofinition) – 1. Game played by animals. The dual objectives are to see how many items the animal can entice the humans into throwing, and how many times the human will throw them.
In use: “Kittens and puppies quickly master floofchuck, spending endless hours in delighted fun as humans throw things for them to play with.”
2. The mess caused when an animal vomits, specially a housepet.
In use: “As Keri got out of bed in the dark, Brad said, “Watch out for the floofchuck, I heard one being sick a little while ago.” Seconds later, Keri shouted, “Yuck,” signaling to Brad that she’d found the floofchuck.”
Floof Post (floofinition) – 1. (Archaic) Correspondence delivery that depends on using animals in some way.
In use: “Floof post in the pre-electronic age included carrier pigeon and the famous Pony Express in the western United Floofs.”
2. A blog or social media entry whose subjects is about animals or includes extensive references to animals.
In use: “Floof posts about kittens, puppies, kids, and lambs, seem to dominate the web in popularity as people hunt relief from bad news in 2020.”
3. Vertical element used in fencing where animals such as birds and cats sit and watch the world.
In use: “Post turtle is a floof post used as a metaphor for someone in a position that doesn’t make sense; no one has any idea how the turtle got there, but he shouldn’t be there, and needs help.”
Flooflich Maneuver (floofinition) – An action taken by an animal to show love to another or reassure them by licking them, which often calms and cheers the recipient.
In use: “Sensing she was upset, her cat jumped up on the chair beside her, sniffed her head and face, and then applied the Flooflich Maneuver on her nose and cheeks.”
Nocfloofnal (floofinition) – Animals, especially housepets, who roam, play, eat, and fight at night.
In use: “Among housepets, cats are recognized as being nocfloofnal, with videos of them raising hell while their people trying to proliferating across the net.”
Floofxotic (floofinition) – Foolishly impractical or rash actions by an animal, especially a housepet.
In use: “Many pet owners have floofxotic tales to share about their fur friends, such as cats attempting optimistic jumps or small puppies and kittens taking on much bigger foes.”
Floofophone (floofinition) – Family of woodwind instruments often used in floof jazz (floozz) music.
In use: “Reading her book in bed late at night, she paused to listen. She’d heard a noise. Her dog beside looked content, with his tail tapping time to some song that he heard. What she almost heard that came to him quite clearly was a floofophone carried on the wind as the Stray Dogs played down the street.”
Floofcapade (floofinition) – An adventurous, daring, or exciting act or incident involving an animal.
In use: “When our pets disappear from our view, people’s minds begin imagining their fur friends are caught in floofcapades that may take them away from them forever.”
Michael Seidel, writer 