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Floofpremacist (floofinition) – Person or animal who believes animals are inherently superior to other beings and should have control over them as well as greater privileges.
In use: “Being a floofpremacist, the dog refused to accept that mere people could sit on the furniture while he, an animal, was forced to stay on the floor. Thus, whenever given the chance, he asserted his rights and got right up there on the furniture.”
Floofspection (floofinition) – A searching and prolonged examination, often wary, conducted by an animal of a person, object, or another animal.
In use: “The web has many videos of humorous floofspections, with classics being when cats and dogs encounter a banana or cucumber and subsequently floof out.”
Barfing Floof (floofinition) – Annual event among pets focused on art, self-expression, and self-reliance, highlighted by a period when they all start bringing up hairballs.
In use: “The annual Barfing Floof always troubled Michael. First only one cat participated but he apparently convinced the others that they should participate. At least it was just hairballs. Finely formed hairballs. He wondered how they did that. And why.”
Floofpetitive (floofinition) – 1. Action or activity persistently completed for an animal, especially a pet.
In use: “His floofpetitive routine began every morning with fresh water — two bowls — followed by the feeding of the three feline princes, and then the daily morning love session (each demanded private personal time to be petted and doted upon), and the litter box cleaning. The routine was done again in the evening.”
2. An activity or motion repeated many times by an animal.
In use: “Whenever Pam sat down, her cat jumped up on her lap and commenced floofpetitive grooming of her face and hair, often employing her paws to hold Pam’s head still.”
Sternflooftation (floofinition) – 1. Act of talking firmly or verbally disciplining an animal, especially a pet.
In use: “Despite Becky’s daily sternflooftation before she left for work, the cat and dog always got in trouble while she was away, creating mayhem in a bathroom, bedroom, or living room.”
2. An especially solemn or serious display by an animal.
In use: “After she pretended to throw the toy for the kittens, the three tabbies sat down in coordinated sternflooftation to stare at her.”
Floofdumb (floofinition) – 1. A person who is ignorant about animals and their needs and behaviors.
In use: “His major requirement for a new relationship (well, honestly, one of many major requirements) was a person who wasn’t floofdumb. Whoever he was with had to love animals as much as him. Yeah, that was a dealbreaker, he decided.”
2. Conduct, action, behavior or sound that leaves people speechless or amazed.
In use: “The cat darted pass and leaped into the air so high that witnesses were left floofdumb.”
Flooficane (floofinition) – An animal that makes a huge mess.
In use: “Little Max was a BIG flooficane — a category one beast — who left things overturned, destroyed, and broken on his floofpages through the house.
Flooftization floofinition) – An animal’s process of mapping places where they like to sleep, eat, play, or observe.
In use: “New pets in a home often embark on flooftization, walking around and sniffing, testing places for where others slept or sat, seeing if it would work for them.”
Floof Scooch (floofinition) – 1. Wiggling motion or crawling used by humans and animals to move closer to an animal.
In use: “Floof scooching across the bed, she kissed her cat’s exposed belly, earning her a raised head and bleary gaze that exclaimed, ‘Watch yerself.'”
2. Action by animal where they drag their behind across a surface.
In use: “After exiting the litter box, Tucker did a floof scooch across the office carpet, causing Michael to yell, “What are you doing,” while leaping up from his keyboard.”
Diasfloofa (floofinition) – The dispersal or spreading of animals, especially household pets, from one area into several additional areas.
In use: “With a heat dome in place, the animals ate and then a general diasfloofa commenced, with the home’s feline and canine members finding their own personal places to endure the heat in peace and comfort.”
Michael Seidel, writer 