Eqflooflibrium
Eqflooflibrium (floofinition) – An accepted balance of power between two or more housepets, or between housepets and their owners.
In use: “An appropriate eqflooflibrium was found between the cats: Daisy would have Cheri’s lap during the day, and Petunia would sleep with her in the bed at night. Other than that, they would respect a three foot do-not-enter zone. Entering the other’s zone would immediately set off mewailing that brought Cheri’s intervention.”
Floofxiomatic
Floofxiomatic (floofinition) – Self-evident truth to an animal, or matter taken for granted by an animal.
In use: “It’s floofxiomatic to many pets that they’ll sleep in the best locations, and when people eat, they will naturally partake of that food, too.”
Floofspiracy
Floofspiracy (floofinition) – Coordination among animals in a secret agreement to do an unlawful or forbidden act.
In use: “The cat and dog were guilty of multiple floofspiracies. Added by the bird (on lookout), the cat would pull the door ajar. The dog stuck his nose in and thrust it fully open. Dog and cat then dragged out the bags of the treats and the bird came down to feed them.”
Floomba
Floomba (floofinition) – Dance between animals and a robot floor sweeper or vacuum cleaner, such as a Roomba. The intricate interface often involves quick, lively moves away from the machine by the animal when the machine comes toward the animal but the animal then follows the machine, trying to sniff it, when it turns away.
In use: “The cats often did the floomba when the machine was activated but the lab took off right away — she wanted nothing to do with it.”
Floofspringa
Floofspringa (floofinition) – Rite of passage in a young animal’s life commemorated by running briskly around, jumping, and making substantial noise. Rutting might also be involved. Also sometimes spelled Floofschpringe or Floofshpringa.
In use: “Cats, of course, never keep to a standardized calendar or date regarding Floofspringa, going Floofspringa nuts whenever the impulse seized them, which was often while humans are asleep and the sun is below the horizon.”
Floofnacular
Floofnacular (floofinition) – Animal’s ordinary speech and language which is specific to regions or species.
In use: “Although Max was bilingual, the dog sometimes confused what the cat, Snuffy, meant, due to differences in the floofnacular, but both continued learning and the differences didn’t prevent them from napping together. Nap was the same in both floofnaculars.”
Kuma Flooftra
Kuma Flooftra (floofinition) – Ancient book providing animals with guidance on sleeping positions, sexual positions, and general well-being.
In use: “Grace embraced the Kuma Flooftra after the cat showed it to her, testing new sleeping positions and following tips such as eating grass, but the beagle shied away from the sexual positions. After all, she had been ‘fixed’.”
Infloofdelity
Infloofdelity (floofinition) – 1. A pet’s unfaithfulness to a single person or household.
In use: “Batman was originally Wade’s Corgi but after he started dating Lesley, the dog showed astonishing infloofdelity, jumping onto her lap and settling down with a smug look in Wade’s direction.”
2. A person’s unfaithfulness to one pet.
In use: “Carrie made space on her lap as she did every evening when she sat to read but instead of Jade leaping onto her lap, Crystal showed up, leaving Jade staring daggers at the shocking infloofdelity.”
Floofsteading
Floofsteading (floofinition) – The space and adjacent area claimed by an animal as their private zone.
In use: “The cat was always floofsteading on whatever location he thought people wanted to sit — the desk chair in the office, a dining room chair when dinner was ready, the recliner when everyone moved into the family room to watch TV.”
Michael Seidel, writer 