Tag: nukes

Trump, the News, My Wife

My wife is pissed.

She unleashed a rant this morning, growing angrier as she spoke. The focus of her ire was dual: Trump and his remarks about Iran taking out a couple American cities, and the news coverage of it.

Actually, her ire grew because of how Nebraskans reacted, laughing and cheering. I don’t know which aspect of this pissed her off more.

First, she found Trump’s comments, made in a speech in Nebraska about Iran ‘taking out San Diego or Los Angeles’ as treasonous. “A President should not be suggesting things like that.”

What triggered her was the ho-hum coverage in so much of the media. “They’re writing it off as, oh, that’s just Trump being Trump! That’s one of the big problems with our country. They keep normalizing this insane shit that Trump says.” She went on with a louder, angrier tone about this.

Then, though, her anger punched through the roof as she talked about Nebraskans’ reaction. “They laughed and cheered. Oh, those are California cities! Who cares! Well, hello, Nebraska. What would you think if Trump suggested that Iran could take out Omaha. How would you feel then?

“Did they even think about what he was saying. Do they know how much California contributes to the economy? Think your fertilizer prices are high now? How much higher those prices are going to be if the ports of Los Angeles and San Diego are gone!

“California has a huge economy! Think of all the subsidies that the government would no longer be able to pay if two California cities are destroyed. And what about the radioactive fallout? What do they think, that it’s not going to spread to more of the country, that it’s not going to drift over the Midwest?

“And look how much of the military would be damaged! The Navy has a fleet stationed there, marines!”

She was furious by this point. “I don’t care why Trump said it. No American should cheer that. No human should cheer that kind of killing and destruction.

“Even if he was just suggesting that if he didn’t take action, nobody should be cheering the possibility of someone nuking and killing someone else.”

I think I correctly conveyed the gist of what my wife said. Hard to say, because she was going loud, fast — and angry.

14

The Russian Military Dream

I had a cavalcade of dreams last night. One stood out more strongly than the rest. I was in the military for over twenty years. Not infrequently, I find myself in the military again in dreams. It was so again last night.

In this one, I’d been selected for a new position. I was an E7 master sergeant, which is what I retired as. My predecessor, training me, was an E9 chief master sergeant. He was telling me that this position was a catapult to promotion if I do it right, and he thought I’d do it right. Hearing all that pleased me.

Then he gave me a black attaché case. “You’ll always be carrying this,” he said. “You are now the Russian nuke guy. That’s what everyone will start calling you.”

I’d had some idea of what I’d be stepping into even though it’d been a pretty close-hold process. They’d checked my security clearance and records, noted that I’d been on the Personnel Reliability Program because I’d controlled nukes. My top-secret clearance with all the tags of SI, SCI, TK and TQ that came with being associated with a covert intelligence program pleased them, too. Now I got why.

The Chief was explaining that I would be regularly briefed about anything and everything associated with Russia’s nuclear weapons. Locations, capabilities, changes, updates, whatever. Everything from personnel, process, and equipment. I’d be told everything, constantly. The idea was that I would be the national command authority’s primary go-to if any questions about Russia’s nukes came up.

Then he began taking me around offices, introducing me as ‘the new Russian nuke guy’, explaining that I was replacing him. Everyone shook my hand and welcomed me.

The dream ended while I was still in that process.

I have no idea what it all means but I found it weirdly reassuring, because I’d been selected. I was needed. That kind of thing feels validating, you know?

7

Razors & Computer Security

Remember back when razors came as a single blade? Then we advanced to twin blades and multiple blades. My current razor has three blades. It’s all in the pursuit of the closest shave possible.

And that was a good thing. It used to be so hazardous walking on the street as a man. You’d be going along, minding your own business, when, suddenly, a car screeches to a halt beside you, lights flashing. Uniformed people would leap out and surround you. “Let us feel your shave,” they would order, “to ensure it’s the closest that it can be.”

You had no choice but to comply, or risk getting sent to a barber for a shave. Our nation had no tolerance for any but the cleanest shaved man.

That’s how it seemed, at least from the commercials and advertisements.

I’ve always been amused by that approach, that more blades mean a closer shave, and more particularly, that a close shave is critical to civilization’s continued existence. We seem to be going down a similar path with computer security. If one layer of authentication is good, two is better. Hence, they’ve launched double-layered and two-step authentication. Naturally, it’s doomed to fall. Experts don’t seriously believe an absolutely secure computer is possible, if it’s accessing the web.

But I see a day in the future when companies and websites will tell you, “We’re more secure, because we have three layers of security.” Then someone else will announced, “Our security is better because we have four layers,” and the security race will be on.

Razors and computer security weren’t the first to think that if some was good, more was better. Remember American car ads, touting lower, longer, wider?

1949 Hudson Ad-02

Ford probably took the idea of more is better to an unusual but clever conclusion. They speculated that if some was good, then more is better with its front-end dive on braking. If some dive indicated your car’s brakes were doing their job and stopping you, then more dive would indicate better braking, right? They saved a lot of money and gained sales by gaming people into the perception their brakes were better because of that impressive front-end dive when you slammed on the brakes, when nothing had been changed.

Of course, we’ve always had the cubic inch and horsepower race. Still do, actually. Because, as they say, if some is good, more is better.

Probably why we have so many nukes in the United States. At least it feeds the perception that we’re safer.

Like with computers.

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