Wednesday’s Theme Music

Good morning. It’s Wednesday, April 7, 2021. Already into the fourth month. Just eight months to go in 2021, if you’re doing time.

Haven’t had my coffee yet. Thoughts remain low and slow. Something about sunrise at 6:44 and sunset at 7:43. Be over thirteen hours of sunshine today. Temp is 52 F. We expect to kick into the seventies.

“Thank U” by Alanis Morissette outta 1998. I find it an introspective song, fitting today’s introspective moodiness. Edged with a tinture of restlessness, there’s a sense that I’d like to break out of my daily mold. First, though, I must have my daily coffee…

Stay positive, test negative, wear a mask, and get the vax. Cheers

Sunday’s Theme Music

Sunrise/sunset: 7:25 AM/5:24 PM. So close to ten hours of daylight! We almost made it. Oh, well, tomorrow is a new month.

It’s a sleepy Sunday, this last day of January, 2021. Rainy but 44 degrees F here, with sun breaks, a good day for reading a book and napping. The cats are for it.

Homemade minestrone soup is simmering in the slow cooker and filling the air with spices and veggies. Such a lazy-feeling day needs a lazy day song, say, “The Lazy Song” by Bruno Mars (2011). It’s a silly song but silly songs can be good.

Stay positive, etc. Too lazy to put in more, you know? Maybe I’ll get some coffee, maybe I’ll write. We’ll see.

Thursday’s Theme Music

I awoke with “Silent Running” by Mike + The Mechanics (1985) streaming in my head. When it ended, the next track from that CD began. I decided “All I Need Is a Miracle” (1986) would be today’s theme music. It’s possibly a redux; I didna look. It’s an upbeat song and fits my upbeat mood.

Stay pos, test neggy, and wear a mask. Cheers

Monday’s Theme Music

Computer issues drop-kicked my Sunday into Sourday yesterday. Naturally, I blamed 2020. Made more sense than blaming myself, or HP, Microsoft, Kaspersky, or anything else. No, this was 2020’s fault. Because, 2020 has been a helluva memorable year for all the wrong reasons, from my perspective.

Like, yesterday, I went for a short walk. Golden leaves were flaring bright against the sky blue. The air was warmish at seventy, but clearer than a new 4K television picture. Yet, given my ‘puter issues, my mood was sour. Walking out of the house and up the hill, I remembered the four small, beautiful cats who used to greet me when I came out. Pepper, Buddy, and Mimi (aka Princess) all were neighbor cats. Quinn was my own. None were big. Three were long-furred but all were sweet and happy. All were here last year, last fall. Now, all were gone, victimized by life and death, as we all will be.

Yeah, some mood, right?

It’s natural for my mind to provide theme music, background to whatever I’m doing. Yesterday’s chosen song stayed with me for today. Probably did this song as theme music before; I didn’t bother to look. Frying other matters in my head, you know?

Here is Green Day with “Wake Me When September Ends” (2005). In place of September, feel free to insert anything else. I inserted 2020, as in wake me when 2020 ends.

Cheers

More Stormy Dreams

A series of powerful, uplifting dreams rolled through me last night.

Each one presented an unusual or alarming situation, and all had to do with weather phenomena. I often dream about weather. It’s like a standard element in my dreams. I suspect that’s true for many people.

In the first dream, I was striving to go up a sparsely vegetated steep mountainside. I felt it imperative that I reach the top. Strong winds were slamming me back. Not only did it seem like the winds were slowing me down, but seeing a precipice not far away, I thought, “I’m going to blow off this mountain.” Trying to hang onto something, anything, damn it, everything kept falling away. First a walking stick snapped in half. Shoved back past trees, I lunged for branches. I missed at first, then caught some, which promptly broke. Though I windmilled my arms to grab another branch, the wind took me from the trees.

Dropping to the ground — whether I fell or did this deliberately wasn’t clear — I saw a handle in the earth. Seizing it, I thought, why is there a handle here, and then gathered, its a tree root.

All this is in sharp relief because, bang, I awoke to the sound of the wind beating our bedroom blinds. Which, I thought, with a chortle, closing the window, was probably what prompted that dream. It’s also somewhat of a recurring dream, this against the wind on a mountainside motif.

Back asleep in seconds (so it felt), I found myself alone in a pouring rain. Was it day or night? So deep and thick was the rain, I couldn’t tell. The crashing precipitation veiled the world in heavy gray wool but also battered my face as I tried to see, forcing me to protect it with my hands. Yet, I also needed my hands to hold on.

With that realization, I saw that I was ankle deep in cold water. I needed to get somewhere higher, but looked for escape and couldn’t see any. I thought I saw something yellow but it came and went too fast for me to confirm it. Deciding there must’ve been something, I forced myself that way.

The water was over my knees and its current was increasing. Fighting the current was sapping my strength. I couldn’t see and needed my hands to hold onto something that I’d found — couldn’t tell what, and it was wet and slippery — but then let go to try to wipe rain off my face.

I fell backwards into the water. The current immediately victimized me. My head went under. I gulped water and struggled for air while fighting to stop myself and get the fuck up as the water carried me along like a leaf.

My back came up against something hard in the flood waters. I didn’t know or care what it was but used it to leverage myself up. Right then, I turned my head to get my face out of the rain, and saw a yellow light. Rectangular, it was a door or window, and very clear and yellow against the gloom. I headed for it…

And was again awakened. I don’t know what woke me — cat, wind, my mending arm in pain from being in a contorted position, or general discomfort. The dream haunted me while my mind chased connections between the first dream and the second. Similarities were easily seen. I meditated on them as a cat found me, purring in the dark as I drifted off again.

I wasn’t alone in this dream, but with friends and family. Clear and balmy, the weather didn’t seem to be a factor. I’m not sure if we were on a picnic or at a celebration or what the deal was. Everyone was chatting and laughing, and a gay mood generally prevailed. Food on platters and in bowls crowded tables.

Yet, I found myself growing wary, and while that happened, I distanced myself from the rest in search of what was disturbing me. I hunted clues for it like one of those games presented in a ‘spot the difference’ diversion in a newspaper or magazine. I felt suspicious, like I was leery of something sneaking up on me, which seemed unreasonable. The weather seemed clear and everyone seemed happy. Why shouldn’t I be relaxed and happy?

I awoke and guessed the time: yep, seven twenty-five. My cats have trained my bladder to awaken and pee then. They (the cats, not the bladder) clamored for food and attention but I wasn’t yielding to their demands. I didn’t feel rested; I wanted more sleep. Yet, oddly, reflecting on these three dreams as I lay in bed, I felt fortified, like I’d endured something and came out stronger. And my mood, when I finally acquiesced to the inevitable and got out of bed twenty minutes later, seemed upbeat.

All these dreams are part of my regular dreamscape, presenting some variation of theme. This time, I thought they were like a weather storm system, moving through and clearing my subconscious as fronts will do in a region. It feels like that, because the day seems hopeful with promise.

Or just maybe, that’s the coffee.

Sunday’s Theme Music

Sorry, a bit down today. As I awoke and wrestled with dreams and thoughts about recent events, Frank Sinatra began singing “That’s Life”. It rolled into Dire Straits and “The Walk of Life”.

Getting up, though, I stared out at the smoky air and heard Pink Floyd, “Breathe” and then the Police, “Every Breath You Take”.

It looks like a nuclear winter out there. Gray, fouled air, no sun, no life. People are sequestered in their homes so the usual parade of hikers, walkers, and cyclists are gone. Tourists have left town, leaving the streets empty. I haven’t heard nor seen the usual birds, or any deer. Hope they’re all safe somewhere.

Nuclear thoughts brought up “Radioactive” by The Firm and then the Imagine Dragons song.

None of these are good for a theme song on such a down day. I challenged my mind to find me something perkier. Being the asshole that it is, my mind responded with “Yummy Yummy Yummy”.

I wasn’t amused. Come on, shake it off, I told myself. That invited Taylor Swift’s 2015 pop song, “Shake It Off”.

No. Sorry.

Finally decided on an old Coldplay song. Not really lively as I wanted, but reflects my hope.

Here’s “Fix You” from 2005.

Thursday’s Theme Music

“It’s that time of month.”

It’s not a monthly thing, but a cyclic thing, this periodic slide into a dark trough. I feel it as it comes on. It feeds my bitterness (or I feed it), despair, and frustration. I think, I’m a terrible writer, person, husband, son, and man, a waste of air, space, and energy, and the world is a shitty place.

I know it’ll pass. While it’s happening, I need to keep a check on myself so I don’t do lash out or burn my world down. It’ll pass, you know? But at least twenty-four to thirty-six hours of it are a deep abyss.

So, mood music is required for this shit. Today’s choice (probably used in the past, but I didn’t check, because — mood) is “On the Dark Side”, by John Cafferty & The Beaver Brown Band, as heard in the 1983 movie, Eddie and the Cruisers.

Let the merriment begin!

 

Tuesday’s Theme Music

Stumbled down nostalgia lane this morning. Probably a combination of mood, weather, and personal struggles, the sort of thing that sometimes takes most of us. It ended up with a stream of what I used to do and used to be. That invited the 2008 Coldplay song, “Viva La Vida”, into my morning’s mental music stream.

It’s not a dance number but the way the song’s layers build always rouses me. It is at once a contemplative and reflective song about what had been, and a song that reinforces my will about what I will do. Does anyone else experience an effect like that? No? Well, maybe it’s the coffee.

Wednesday’s Theme Music

Well, time was up.

Past ‘up’.

I was supposed to have departed the fix about fifteen minutes before, so I was now behind my schedule. Couldn’t help it. Couldn’t stop writing. Coffee was gone, butt was uncomfortable, and my sciatic nerve was causing pain issue from being perched on the coffee shop’s new hard chairs. All the signs were aligned, time to go, mo-fo.

But —

Yes. Closing up with a stern order, go now, I packed it all up, strapped on the backpack, and headed into the sunshine. It was doing little good against the wintry air, but it was in the low 40s, a better place to be than, say, single digits that some in Alaska are enduring, and it’s better than Australia’s fires and blazing heat. So, couldn’t complain.

Walking up the hill, the distinctive piano playing of the Moody Blues cover of “Go Now” (1964) arrived in my stream. It’s a wondrous juxtaposition when the thing you’ve been doing, memories of places and events, and what you’re now doing come together in a perfectly mellow mood. I usually need a beer, a glass of wine, cup of coffee, or the toke of a joint to arrive in such a state.

But here I was, just me and the small town, with myself and music in my head, cold in the air, and sunshine on the other side of the valley.

 

 

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