Tag: marriage

Sundaz Wandering Thoughts

Frank passed away, so I’m remembering Frank. 95, he and Mom were together for his life’s last twenty years plus. Which, as I think about it, causes me to realize that Frank was about five years older than my present age when he and Mom met. My youngest sister, Lisa, was the agent of their coming together. Mom was dating another, Ed, at the time. Lisa worked in a bank. She regularly saw Frank and decided that Frank and Mom were a good match. When she suggested it to Frank, he asked, “Is she pretty?” Lisa beamed and gave a knowing nod. “Yep.”

Lisa was right. Mom and Frank hit it right off. All was a lot of fun for years. Biking, walking, movies, tennis, dancing, estate sales. They had a good life before Mom’s accidents, health, and drugs crippled things. I’m happy they had those years together.

When my wife and I talked about it, she marveled about old people dating. “People our age,” she exclaimed as we both laughed. She went on, “I’m like that song. I’m not ready to get naked in front of another.”

We spoke more seriously about friends and relatives our age and older dating. Ron, 78, lost his wife ten years ago to breast cancer. He’s had a regular girlfriend for three years. Now he’s dating another woman and they’re having fun. Sis-in-law, coming up on 70, has a regular boyfriend, her third since her husband died of brain cancer about five years ago (I think). Then there’s Barb, 81 this Feb, dating a guy who is her age. Both had preferred younger people and would hook up with someone for a few months and then move on. Now, months into this relationship, Barb professes that she’s in love. Sweet and beautiful.

So, there’s hope, if you put yourself out there. As Frank and Mom did. Hell, as Dad did. Now at 92, he’s on his third marriage. It’s lasted over thirty years, the longest marriage of his life, and he seems happy and contented.

Hope and love aren’t limited by age.

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Thirstdaz Wandering Thoughts

It’s a silly one.

My wife doesn’t online bank. She doesn’t trust computer and web security. Mind you, she will shop online, no probs.

I am at my computer. To my left is a small bowl of pumpkin and sunflower seeds with almonds, cashews, and pistachio nuts. Unsalted and raw, these are my safe snack.

My wife said, “Can you login and check my credit card statement please? I want to make sure the vacation house payment was charged.”

We’d rented a place on the Oregon coast with two other couples. There was half up front with the rest paid thirty days later. It was decided my wife and I would front the costs and the others would reimburse us. I was the one who paid for it, because it was online, but I used the Visa account. Technically in both of our names as a joint account, we refer to this as ‘her’ account. The MasterCard is ‘my’ account. Yet, when it came time to set up the vacation home payments, I did it, using ‘her’ credit card. We did this by agreement because my card had several grand on it for my recent dental work — three implants, a biopsy, and a bone graft.

“Sure,” I said. “I’ll do it in a minute. Let me finish eating my nuts first.”

Laughter burst out of me and my wife. We’re so immature.

Told you it was silly.

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Munda’s Wandering Thoughts

We were at the store to buy supplies for my wife. I was bagging as she was paying. The whole thing was less than $20. She was going through her, taking things out and mumbling how hard it is to find things in her purse, a familiar song. I dove a hand into my pocket and whipped out a twenty.

My wife said, “It worked.”

“What?”

“I was hoping that if I took too long to get my money out, you’d pay.”

“I thought it was all our money,” I said.

She laughed. “Not when it’s in my purse.”

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Mom Update

Mom and her boyfriend appear to be ready to move out of Mom’s house.

This is a big step for Mom. Not only is it a familiar place, a comfortable place for her, but it’s rich with history. She lost her previous house in divorce proceedings when the two parties agreed that selling is what needed to be done, as neither could afford to pay the mortgage on their own. Mom then saved for years for a place that she could afford on her own. This place was finally the one. Like Mom, the house has a lot of charm. Now both are old.

Mom fixed up that home through the years. Seventeen grand and greatgrandchildren have visited it for parties, holidays, and celebrations. She hadn’t finished high school; while living in that house, she got her GED. She then went on to become a nurse, RN & LPN. She was rightfully very proud of those accomplishments.

Her house has always tidy and spotless. Cleaning and cooking, having family, are her passions. But the house, with its narrow, step stairs, are no longer a safe place for her. That’s painful to acknowledge. Her physical limitations keep her from cooking and cleaning. The grands and greats rarely visit because Mom is mostly tired, medicated, and bed-ridden. She depends on her boyfriend. Now 95, he’s finally up against limitations. He becomes dizzy and falls. It’s not a good situation for the two of them. Now, he has mass in his lung which might be cancer, but with his age, they don’t feel there’s any worthwhile treatments for him.

Like many things, there are more factors swirling underneath the surface emotions, conversations, and actions. Like, he doesn’t want to pay rent, which he would need to do in the new place, because he wants to leave money for his children, grandchildren, etc. This is mostly an ego thing because all of his offspring are well off. And if he has cancer and becomes sicker and worse…well, that doesn’t need to be spelled out. We can all visualize the added complexities.

Egos, complexities, and history are all part of the package. Nothing can just be dimissed. It must be lived through, endured, and shaped until it fits the current moment.

That’s life.

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Crossroad Moments

Daily writing prompt
Describe one of your favorite moments.
View all responses

I’m fortunate enough to have treasure chest of favorite moments to sift through. I fell in love with an intelligent and beautiful girl in 1974, married her in 1975, and we remain together. She’s given me a bundle of favorite moments. Fun times, vacations, Christmas and other holidays, have given me a chunk of favorite moments, as well. Playing ball with my father and wrestling with him gifted me more, and being in the military, traveling the world, and having a plethora of good friends further enriched my favorite moments. And, although I’ve won promotions, awards, and honors, starred in local productions of plays and had some great moments playing sports, two special memories effortlessly surface.

One came in 1989. I was stationed in Germany with a C130 unit. A training mission was planned for the weekend to give navigators an opportunity to do overwater nav training. I normally didn’t fly, so offered a seat for familiarization and orientation, I jumped at the chance.

Our first stop would be Aviano Air Base in northern Italy, but politics put a crimp in our plans. Col. Omar Gaddafi ruled Libya. Two Libyan MiGs went up against two US Navy F14 Tomcats. The MiGs lost.

The episode put the region on high alert. We took off for Italy but were denied permission to enter Italian airspace. The Italians didn’t want to inflame the situation with more U.S. warplanes entering their nation. We were placed in a racetrack pattern over the Swiss Alps while diplomats worked on the problem. Going around and around, it was surreally beautiful and peaceful to gaze down on those rugged, snow and ice-covered ancient mountains, watching as shadows arose and lengthened, lights went on in the villages and hamlets, and the sky changed colors as the sun dropped below the horizon. We were permitted to continue into Italy and land, but our training plans were curtailed. It’s a favored moment because the time and situation allowed me to sit quietly and contemplate the world and existence. I could look up the emerging stars, where humans were rarely found, and back down to Earth, where we struggle to thrive, and reflect further on the circumstances around that unique moment.

My other favorite moment is one with my wife. We were in California, where we lived, in late 1999. We’d just moved into the first home we bought, a townhouse located in Half Moon Bay. Settled in and unpacked, we went for a walk one evening. After walking for about a mile, we arrived at Kelly Beach. There, we stood on a bluff, arms around one another’s waist, and watched the sun darken into red as it set on the deep blue Pacific Ocean. I felt content, satisfied, and hopeful about life in a meaningful way.

I’m happy to share these moments. They weren’t much in the span of time and life, but they mean so much to me.

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Twosda’s Wandering Political Thoughts

Out in Texas, they’re busy building a nanny state. Cos words are scawy! Sex is scawy! Books! Scawy! Freedom to read bad! Censorship is good!

They’re trying to take a quantum leap back to another era, where sex is hidden and all the men are virile and heterosexual and women are pristine and pure. You know, like it never was, except in fiction.

Texas lawmakers advance bill that makes it a crime for teachers to assign “Catcher in the Rye”

Currently, if someone is charged with providing sexually explicit content to a child, they can argue that the content was provided in pursuit of a scientific, educational, or governmental purpose. SB 412 and HB 267 would remove this affirmative defense. This defense exists because, while some people provide explicit content to children to harm them, books that include sexual content have long been a valuable component of secondary education. Many classic works of literature, including “The Odyssey,” “Catcher in the Rye,” “Brave New World,” and “One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest,” have sexually explicit scenes.

Under SB 412, which the Texas Senate voted to advance last week and now awaits approval by the House, teachers and librarians would no longer be able to argue that sexually explicit content can serve an educational purpose. Only law enforcement officials and judges would be exempted under the new law. SB 412 also leaves in place an exception if the adult providing the sexually explicit content is married to the child, which is legal in Texas, with a judge’s approval, if the child is at least 16 years old.

George Orwell would be proud of these ‘modern’ Texans. Set up the cameras! Thy must, in order to ensure no one is circumventing a law and providing ‘dirty’ material to children who are only seventeen. Unless they’re married. Children can be married in Texas. So a child can be married and then be expected to have sex and raise a child but until that point, knowing about sex in literature is verboten.

Man, that is one fucked up state, thanks to the uptight, fucked-up Republicans guiding them. Might as well go ahead and start calling it the Nanny Star State.

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Munda’s Wandering Political Thoughts

A remarkable shell game has taken over U.S. politics.

Here we have Donald J. Trump, a convicted felon, basking in the glow of the ‘law and order’ party. They support the blue, you know. That’s despite his attempted Jan. 6 coup, where his supporters attacked the police defending Congress.

Here we also have exhibit B, Donald J. Trump, known liar, having his praises sung by people who say ‘he speaks for us.’ They are, then, by the transitive property, liars, too, aren’t they?

As exhibit C, Donald J. Trump, failed business man (the proof is in the bankruptcies) is going to ‘run the government like a business’. Never mind that a business pursuing profit and a government serving its people have two wholly intentions, philsophies, and guiding principles.

To top that off, we have Elon Reeve Musk, unelected to any office, not even a U.S. citizen, accessing and cutting American programs. This is supported by the party that kept screaming about election fraud and stolen elections. Now they’re mostly silent on stolen government. Where citizens are voicing their displeasure to their elected Federal officials in the GOTP, those officials are running away. They don’t want to hear what ‘we the people’ have to say.

Finally, we have the Family Values party, the GOTP, formerly known as the GOP. They want to restore marriage because that will Make America Great Again. *snicker* Despite Donald Trump’s affairs and multiple marriages. To top that, as exhibit D, Elon Reeve Musk, Donald J. Trump’s top advisor and henchman, has had added another child to his growing family. His fourteenth child? With how many women?

The news comes as Musk’s custody issues with another mother of children, St. Clair, play out in the media. St. Clair, who is suing Musk for sole custody, has characterized him as an absent father who has only met their child three times and was not present for the birth last year.

What else can I say and expect? They voted for Trump to ‘Make America Great Again’. He’s responded by turning it into an imperial presidency, the ‘unitary executive’. They voted for Trump to lower prices and improve the economy, and everything he’s done has had the opposite effect. They voted to restore the nation’s standing in the world. He’s instead turned on allies, reducing U.S. influence, isolating us as we grow closer to countries like Russia and North Korea.

Question: if Russia is so trustworthy, will PINO Trusk let Putin put missiles in Cuba?

Follow up: With PINO Trusk bending over and presenting to Putin in Russia, does Russia need missiles in Cuba?

I’ve said it before. I’ll say it again. Donald J. Trump a con man, idiot, and bully. He’s a user and sociopath. He doesn’t care about people except how they can be used to further his own wealth and power.

Yes, I’ve said it before, but as it’s been proven again and again, the GOTP is a spineless party. Project 2025 is interested in advancing the nation as a white Christian theocracy. And the MAGAts are racist, sexist sheeple. The list of what Trump has said compared to what he’s done in opposition to what he — and the GOTP — promised goes on with many more examples. There is a simple bottom line.

They’ve been conned, but they were willing victims, and we’re being taken for a ride.

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Not An Easy Answer

Daily writing prompt
Share one of the best gifts you’ve ever received.
View all responses

This is another of those questions with contingencies circling around a word. Today, it’s ‘gift’. I mean, the gifts of life and good health are often on people’s lists. I’ve experienced enough personal health scares to appreciate those words. A memory seared into my being is of being very sick one year. Bronchitis turned to pneumonia. I awoke to Mom’s high pitched appeals, “Please, Lord, let my son live.” Her efforts worked, as here I am. Pretty good gift, I think.

Then there is the best gift received as a present. That would be a 1/20 scale model of a 1961 Jaguar XK-E. I was around nine or ten years old. Car fever bowled me over. Porsches, Corvettes, Ferraris, name it. But that Jag impressed me as the most stylistic art on four wheels. The roadster was my choice but the model was a coupe. It was fun to build, and I displayed the result with pride.

However, there was a shirt given to me when I was fourteen. A female classmate had a crush on me. I was aware of this because other girls wrote me a note informing me of the fact. Later that week, she bought the shirt, and gave it to me as a gift. Although the shirt wasn’t my style, I was flattered. Astonished, really. In retrospect, I understand how much courage it took her to buy that and give it to me.

I suppose, though, the best gift is that kiss and hug my wife gave me the first time she ever told me she loved me. Unable to speak the words, she wrote them in the steam on a window. We were teenagers and that’s another memory captured in amber. Married a few years later, we’re still married fifty years later.

So, not an easy question to answer. The question does force me to realize how many great gifts I’ve received.

I hope I was able to give a few to others along the way.

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Munda’s Wandering Thoughts

After knowing one another for 53 years and being married almost 50, my wife still surprises and confuses me with some of her decisions.

I have no doubt that she’d say the same thing about me.

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WWTD?

What would Jesus do after someone shot him, apparently attempting to kill him?

The question is before us because many Evangelicals believe Trump is their savior. He shares their values, they tell us in polls, votes, and interviews. Which means, of course, that they’re not interested in stable marriages, right? Can’t be, since Trump has been married three times. What kind of values would they have, if they held that marriage was sacred and divorce is a no-no, and then admire a man who has three divorces? I wouldn’t think much of them and their values, no, I wouldn’t. I guess one of their values then is apparently divorce.

They share values with Trump, so I imagine they have a large number of affairs, too, because, you know, Trump. He’s had affairs, right? I wouldn’t be surprised to learn that Trump will sponsor a ‘Divorce is sacred’ act if re-elected. Also among Evangelical supporters’ shared values with Trump is the willingness to declare bankruptcy to avoid creditors and escape financial responsibility for the misery caused to others for poor financial planning and execution. He or his companies have declared such bankruptcies a bunch of times, and he’s been sued repeatedly for not paying contractors. I guess that skipping out on their bills is another shared value. Gotta be.

Surely their values include lying and hate. Trump lies with routine regularity. Verify any of his speeches with fact-checkers and Vegas will probably give you odds that it has at least three lies in it. Therefore, truth is not a value for them, but lying, because that’s what Trump would do, is one of their shared values, and he is their savior. He shares their faith.

Nor is Trump forgiving, advocating death for others time and again. So, forgiving is not one of their shared values. Nor is turning the other cheek. Vengeance must be another of their shared values. Gotta be, right, because they share Trump’s values.

They must be proud of him today, then. Their modern-day Jesus immediately rebounded after being shot in the ear and went after the dollar. Yes, Trump’s apparatus quickly set up the sale of special commemorative shoes to remember the shooting. These “FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT” high tops, complete with Trump’s bloody face on it, can be theirs for just $299. That’s really a terrific bargain for a bloody face on a shoe when it’s your savior’s face. I bet Evangelicals snap them up and put them on display in their living rooms, along with their crosses.

I’m guessing from everything I’ve read about Trump that the Evangelicals’ values are rooted in money, like Trump. Just like their savior with whom they share values. Anything for a dollar. Just go after the buck.

Because that’s what Jesus would do.

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