I had to go ‘incognito mode’ and log into Gmail. Don’t ask.

I give it my identification. My password.

Okay, my computer tells me. “Go to you phone and click on the link texted to you so we know it’s you.”

I did so.

The computer showed me three numbers in circles. “Now,” it said, “click on the number that corresponds with the number shown on your phone.”

I did so.

“Now,” the computer said. “Hop up and down on your left foot three times and bow to your right.”

I did so.

“Now,” the computer said, “Say Rumpelstiltskin is my name.”

I did so.

I was finally able to log in.

Seriously, I did it all until the hopping part. But I don’t think that’s too far off in the future.