I was a young middle-aged man again. Several people who worked for me in the military and at IBM were working for me again. I was setting them up with some kind of project. Terry, Gil, and Lainie were at a round table. I stopped by to provide more instructions.
For some reason, I ended up asking Lainie if she knew her fours table because she had to use them for some task I was setting up. She was hesitant. Knowing she’s often hesitant because of self-doubt, I began quizzing her – what 7 * 4? She didn’t know, so I tried, what’s 3 * 4? She correctly but slowly responded, twelve, with a shy smile.
Encouraging her, I then asked, what’s 4 * 4?
She wasn’t sure. Terry responded, 16.
I began going through the fours table with Lainie with the others sitting there. As we did, she made wrong guesses about the numbers, sometimes saying numbers that ended in three or five. I told her that the result would always be even, and that it would end in a 2-4-6-8 or zero. I then began taking her through the table and went from 1 * 4 to 200 * 4, pointing out the repetitive pattern in the results.
Everyone grew quiet, listening as I went through the times table. When I finished, Terry and others said, “I never knew that about the pattern.”
I replied, “There’s a pattern to everything. Always look for the pattern. If you can find that, many other things fall into place.”
Ashland, southern Oregon — Monday, October 12, 2026.
Autumn continues its golden, chilly reign. 53 F now, we’ve risen from the overnight low of 32 and we’re getting close to the 62 F expected high. It’s a boldly blue sky and marvelously sharp sunshine. A small herd of clouds — momma and four or five kits — hard to say because they keep moving — feed on the blue to one side.
No more on Mom and her situation today. Patience is needed as I await news and developments. That’s a life stage many of us know very well.
Time is extremely tight today. Food & Friends deliveries began the morning, writing in the late morning to early afternoon, BCG wash in the mid-afternoon, and then back to help a friend move some items. I made the plans, so I accept them. Tomorrow will be as busy but in other areas of needs.
Today’s music is a throwback tune, “The Fool and Me”. The Neurons placed the Robin Trower offering in my morning mental music stream early today after I went through a cursory review of news stories followed by a fast reflection on dreams, time, and appointments. Make sense, I guess.
Sample Lyrics:
Traveling that wind and laugh at the crowd, mmm the fool and me Howl at the moon baby yell out loud, the fool and me And ohh oh, where ever we go We keep the spirit free Ohh nobody knows No one but the fool and me
Stretching on out and feeling fine, the fool and me Two fools dancing on the hands of time, yeah The fool and me And ohh oh, where ever we go We keep the spirit free Ohh nobody knows No one but the fool and me
Yes, and there is a connection to Donald Trump in this: his impact on my life, and his impact on my nation, my friends, and family. Trump is politically divisive. That’s just the starting point. Consumed with thoughts about only himself, he’s consuming our world and tearing it apart. Some MAGAzens applaud this: “Tear it all down and start over.” Yet, when Trump’s destruction hits their lives, many call, “Wait a minute. What’s going? This isn’t what I want.”
Well, I can tell you for sure, what Trump has done and is doing is sure as hell not what I want.
I hope we can vote Democrats into office and take over Congress and offset the madness that is Trump.
May your day end with you feeling fine and looking back on what you did with smiles.
Sunday, October 11, 2026 — Ashland, southern Oregon.
The weather and foliage matched perfectly yesterday and feel right today. Many of us enthused about the crisp and cool autumn air. This was what we’d been looking for! Temperatures topped in the mid 70s yesterday and dropped to the low 30s last night. Right now finds us at 42 F. Though it’s quite sunny and the sky is clear and blue, today’s high is expected to close out in the mid 50s.
Mom reports a new decline. She’d in pretty good spirits this week. Today, she reported, “My pain upon urinating is worse than ever like it was when I first had the bladder infection and it is brown up upon the pads. And it smells rotten. And I feel physically ill.”
This blow came as my sisters and I have been working out what to get Mom for her upcoming 92 birthday at the end of this month.
Trump and Hegseth are excited for their upcoming military execution by firing squad. Outside of them, Americans are checking their priority lists and problems and realizing that Donald Trump is completely out of touch with them.
People are concerned about Trump’s broken promises, the war in Iran, rising prices, AI, and high food, energy, and healthcare costs. Trump responded with more Operation Epic LOOK — SQUIRREL! antics.
Your Donald Trump Quote of the Day:
Call me an enemy, then, Trump, because I’ll continue to adhere to history and industry standards and refer to artificial intelligence, or AI.
At this point, reading the political news has me growling and shaking my head. I never expected much out of Trump, but he and his administration is an absolute trainwreck. More of Trump’s supporters are pulling away. I doubt it helped Trump’s cause when Trump told supporters at one recent rally, “It’s amazing. When you stand up here, it’s just like…the love. I could say the stupidest things and you’d clap. ‘Oh, I love you so—’ It’s true.”
We’ll see how those Donald Trump supporters feel when the midterm elections results come in next month. Trump said to make the upcoming elections about himself. He doesn’t know how much disapproval of him has grown, how many are turning away from him, and tuning out from him.
Between Mom and Trump, The Neurons put “Bad Moon Rising” in the morning mental music stream. This song by Clearance Clearwater Revival, aka CCR, was released in 1969. It’s about premonitions about bad things on the verge of happening.
Sample Lyrics:
I see the bad moon rising I see trouble on the way I see earthquakes and lightning I see bad times today
Don’t go around tonight Well, it’s bound to take your life There’s a bad moon on the rise
I hear hurricanes a-blowing I know the end is coming soon I fear rivers overflowing I hear the voice of rage and ruin
May this day bless you and yours with fresh air, good health, and good fortune.
Frida, October 9, 2026 — Ashland, southern Oregon.
Our hot, summerish streak is holding, with blue skies and sunshine. Clouds are sprinkled across the blue to keep it from being pristine, making the reds, golds, and oranges splash in bright, picturesque ways. Today’s high is 78 but the sun has a strong, sustained warmth.
I haven’t been doing the theme music for a few days. One, busy. Two, I had “Dirty White Boy” by Foreigner stuck in my head, yet, sans clear and apparent reason. The Neurons finally cleared the music out this morning, leaving me with an empty morning mental music stream.
Didn’t take long for reading the political news to fill it.
My wife and I received our $90 Trump bribes. Inspired by a friend’s response, we donated our bribes to blue candidates in tight races.
I also received a letter from the IRS. Something about they’ll match my IRA contribution this year. And, if I don’t have an IRA account, I can go to TrumpIRA to set up a high quality, low cost IRA.
My wife and I laughed. “I don’t trust anything with Trump’s name on it,” she said.
I agreed. “The promise of a high-quality, low-cost IRA with Trump’s name attached to it is as meaningful as Trump’s other promises and efforts. Like ‘no new wars’, ‘lower prices on day one’, the ‘Ukraine-Russia war ending immediately, Donald J Trump’s healthcare plans, which went from a plan coming in two weeks to a concept to…nothing.
Expect nothing but greed and broken promises from Trump — even though he claims otherwise.
As Trump likes to claim things, many say that Trump is spiraling. My wife and I think the same, with me adding, “Big time,” as we talked about it.
That invited The Neurons to bring in Peter Gabriel with his song, “Big Time”, from 1986.
Sample Lyrics
The big, big city I’ll be a big noise With all the big boys (So much stuff I will own)
And I will pray to a big god As I kneel in the big church
(Big time) I’m on my way, I’m making it (Big time) Oh, yes! (Big time) I’ve got to make it show, yeah (Big time)
(Big time) It’s so much larger than life (Big time) I’m gonna watch it growing (Big time)
My parties have all the big names And I greet them with the widest smile Tell them how my life Is one big adventure And always they’re amazed
~snip~
And my heaven will be a big heaven And I will walk through the front door
(Big time) I’m on my way, I’m making it (Big time) (Big time) I’ve got to make it show, yeah (Big time)
(Big time) It’s so much larger than life (Big time) I’m gonna watch it growing (Big time)
(Big time) My car is gettin’ bigger (Big time) My house gettin’ bigger (Big time) My eyes gettin’ bigger (Big time) And my mouth (Big time) My belly’s gettin’ bigger
(Big time) And my bank account (Big time) Look at my circumstance (Big time)
And the bulge in my Big, big, big, big, big, big, big Big, big, big, big, big, big, big Big!
This song has a quality that I can easily ascribe to Trump’s thinking.
Hope your day is not spiraling and that you ascend to places where you feel healthy, happy, and comfortable.
Actually, her ire grew because of how Nebraskans reacted, laughing and cheering. I don’t know which aspect of this pissed her off more.
First, she found Trump’s comments, made in a speech in Nebraska about Iran ‘taking out San Diego or Los Angeles’ as treasonous. “A President should not be suggesting things like that.”
What triggered her was the ho-hum coverage in so much of the media. “They’re writing it off as, oh, that’s just Trump being Trump! That’s one of the big problems with our country. They keep normalizing this insane shit that Trump says.” She went on with a louder, angrier tone about this.
Then, though, her anger punched through the roof as she talked about Nebraskans’ reaction. “They laughed and cheered. Oh, those are California cities! Who cares! Well, hello, Nebraska. What would you think if Trump suggested that Iran could take out Omaha. How would you feel then?
“Did they even think about what he was saying. Do they know how much California contributes to the economy? Think your fertilizer prices are high now? How much higher those prices are going to be if the ports of Los Angeles and San Diego are gone!
“California has a huge economy! Think of all the subsidies that the government would no longer be able to pay if two California cities are destroyed. And what about the radioactive fallout? What do they think, that it’s not going to spread to more of the country, that it’s not going to drift over the Midwest?
“And look how much of the military would be damaged! The Navy has a fleet stationed there, marines!”
She was furious by this point. “I don’t care why Trump said it. No American should cheer that. No human should cheer that kind of killing and destruction.
“Even if he was just suggesting that if he didn’t take action, nobody should be cheering the possibility of someone nuking and killing someone else.”
I think I correctly conveyed the gist of what my wife said. Hard to say, because she was going loud, fast — and angry.
I was part of a military unit. A light colonel – a commander from my real life – led us. Something disastrous had happened, and we’d shifted into holding on, bracing for attacks and problems. Food, water, and fuel were all issues.
Second in command, we had a dozen people. All were much younger than the commander and me. The weather seemed consistently dark and cloudy. Rain was often falling.
I started out required to make suggestions to the commander. He then agreed or not, and gave orders. My suggestions were about needing shifts, requiring everyone to collect and bring food, man the place and keep watch.
We arrived back in the morning as scheduled. Still a dark, rainy day. Part of our structure was gone. I suggested to the commander, maybe we should move our people inside the rest of the structure, to get us out of the rain.
“No,” he said. “Put them on the covered porch.”
I ordered that, but saw at that point that my commander had recognized that I was thinking about things. Touching my shoulder, he told me, “Supervise them. Get them set up and ready.”
I agreed. We had an engine. It ran a generator which gave us electricity. I’d seen the commander add oil to it the previous day. I went to the engine to do the same. The way he’d done it before didn’t make sense with what I saw. This was a Chevy V8, and it was running. I knew it was important to keep the engine running. The engine steamed as rain drops hit.
I checked fluid levels. Gas, oil, etc., were all topped off. I worried that I was overlooking something and decided, I didn’t know enough about how the engine worked. I needed to learn more.
People reported in to work, bringing food and water with them, including doughnuts. Thanking the people for them, I ordered the doughnuts to be shared, encouraging everyone to eat.
Reports came in – I’m not sure of the mechanism – that enemy forces weren’t far off. I directed people to take positions as lookouts. Someone asked if we should launch a drone.
I knew we had a drone but we also had a plane. I directed that both be launched.
They were launched but we weren’t getting images from other. I went outside to see where they were in the sky, which had turned apricot but was marbled with gray and black. Craning my head back, holding my hat on, I couldn’t see the plane or drone.
My commander asked me what I was doing. I told him, and he replied, “Good idea.” Others came out to also look. None of us could see either aircraft.
“I think the enemy destroyed them,” I said with worry.
Multiple facts spring to mind in response to Trump’s remarks. Donald Trump claimed to have destroyed Iran’s nuclearcapability several times before. Yet here he is again, trying to instill fear in others that Iran has them and will use them.
Donald Trump claimed that the war he began with Iran is over or almost over thirty-eight times before last night. After all of those statements, why should anyone believe that the war is ‘almost over’ again, or will be over after the midterms? Trump originally claimed the war would be over in a few weeks. Donald Trump made that claim over 167 days ago. What has changed to make us believe that Donald Trump is suddenly telling the truth?
Worse, most cravenly, is how Donald Trump so cavalierly writes off the chance of a couple US cities. He dismisses the lives which would be lost in such a strike to be ‘a very small price to pay’.
The MAGA crowd Trump was speaking to cheered.
Trump’s MAGA crowd cheered for American deaths.
It apparently doesn’t matter to them if Americans are killed. What’s important to Trump and MAGA is that these are not Americans to them, no, they are Democrats, and *gasp* probably liberals.
They do not care at all if among those Democrats are MAGAts just like them, or Republicans.
Nor does this ‘pro-life’ crowd care if there are children among the dead. No, they’re just vacuously cheering Donald Trump’s threats.
Beyond the callousness about life and death and the disregard for American lives, Donald J Trump and his supporters display amazing stupidity. San Diego and Los Angeles are huge ports. Los Angeles has been the number 1 container port in the world for years.
Shall we talk about what the devastation of any two American cities would do to the United States and global economy?
Donald Trump also dismisses what such an impact would have on the safety and security of the United States. San Diego is home to a US Navy fleet and training center. It’s where the USS Abraham Lincoln went home for repairs after serving in Trump’s war with Iran.
Donald Trump doesn’t care. All Donald Trump cares about is protecting his ass and staying in power.
And to hear those MAGAzens cheer, they’re of one mind with him on this.
Trump is so scared and desperate at this point, he’ll say and do anything to protect and promote himself. No life matters to him but his own. That’s why the Democrats must take control of Congress next month.
Ashland, southern Oregon. Monday, October 5, 2026.
Another summery autumn day was upon us, high 80s, thin clouds, blue sky, sun.
Last night’s dream was a short, weird one. My wife has been blowing her nose a lot yesterday, complaining, “I have one nostril which seems like a leaky faucet.” I ended up dreaming that she was blowing her nose. Her snot was coming out like yellow mustard. I then blew my nose in the dream; my tissue ended up looking like a slice of white bread thickly slathered with yellow mustard. I went into the other room and showed her, saying, “I have what you have.”
Had my first BCG wash today. Wasn’t ‘quite’ like I expected in some ways but was otherwise exactly as I expected.
The BCG wash is why I’m late posting today. Had to be there at 1:40. Doing the math, I needed to leave at 1:10. Before leaving, I wanted a three-hour writing session so that needed to begin at 10:10 AM. Ergo, leave the house by ten, which means getting dressed, getting up, getting routines done, etc.
Other things happening threw off that timing. But I was finally there, preparing for the BCG. One thing I immediately noticed was how different it is in medical offices and dentist offices. At the dentist, they provide a picture for you to look at while things are being done to you. Music is playing.
Not so at the medical offices. It’s all medical function, like you, the patient, are barely considered.
I had a good tech and a good nurse, Nurse Chrissy C, who did my procedure. I was told to strip off my pants and underwear, then sat in a chair. A large paper, like a giant paper towel, was spread across me for modesty. A foot rest was raised and the back was leaned back, kind of like a barber’s chair. Then they pulled the paper back and began doing things to my wee willie winkle.
Hibiclense was employed to wash my genitals. Lidocaine was injected to numb my pecker. Brrrr, cold. The tech left and the nurse entered. She explained that they only get two vials of the almost dead tuberculosis bacilli a week and it must be immediately used once it’s mixed. Each vial can be used for three treatments, so three of us are done in parallel at the same time.
I surmised something like that was going on because two other people were called simultaneously at my appointment time. One of these people was a teenager, and the other was a heavy woman in a wheelchair with one foot in a walking boot.
My narrow urethra cropped up, of course. The foley catheter wasn’t going in. “Breath deep and cough for me,” the nurse ordered, which I did multiple times. I explained about my previous experiences with catheters, my narrow urethra, and the kink that vexes everything partway through it.
She got it in, though, pumped out my urine, and then filled it with the treatment. Then I was free to clean up, dress and leave. “Don’t urinate for one to three hours,” she said. Only problem was I was already ready to go — with a bowel movement. Yikes.
Here we go again with Donald Trump. After trying to change voting by mail and raging that it’s ‘inherently corrupt’, Trump has spun 180 degrees.
Donald J Trump added a bitter word salad to explain his new position:
“They can vote by mail if they want, because we seem to have no choice because a lot of people want to vote by mail, but a lot of very good people also want to vote in-person. You can do either.”
I had “Word Up” playing in my morning mental music stream after seeing some video about Donald Trump making a speech. After that speech, he did that smug, mind-smothering dance of his. That triggered The Neurons into making a connection with “Word Up”.
Sample Lyrics
Wave your hands in the air Like you don’t care Glide by the People as they start to look and stare Do your dance, do your dance, do your dance quick
And that was the connection between what I saw Trump doing — dancing like he doesn’t care, making his MAGAts laugh because he’s one of them — and the 1986 song by Cameo.
Ashland, southern Oregon. Sunday, October 4, 2026.
Supposed to be bright, sunny, and hot today, but clouds swamped three fourths of the sky, and sunshine struggled to be seen and felt. Never reached close to the 90 which was forecast, but it’s now 83 F.
Dreamed last night that I was in basic training. When I awoke and saw the date, I realized it was the anniversary of my first enlistment. October 4, 1974, I took my first oath. Twenty years later, I declared done.
I remember that first day. Rainy and overcast. Went in oh dark thirty. Was given a meal voucher for breakfast at a nearby local diner. Then had lunch at the same place with another voucher. We didn’t take off until late that afternoon.
That was my first time in an airplane, too. Flew from West Virginia, where I then lived, to San Antonio, Texas, via some other city.
It was a Friday, too. When we arrived at Lackland AFB, Texas, to begin basic training, we were informed there weren’t enough to make a full flight. We wouldn’t begin training until the following Tuesday, and spent the extended weekend in silence in our civies, waiting to begin.
Yes, welcome to the military. That’s how it was during my entire career: hurry up, then wait, then GO!
I spoke with Mom today. She called so I ended up chatting with her for an hour, just talking about life in the assisted living facility, Heritage Grove, Penn Hills. While I was speaking with her, my wife took a call on the home line and we learned that our friend, Larry, passed away at 3 AM this morning.
Larry was 96, and a military veteran. Obtaining a degree from Purdue via the GI Bill, he ended up as an engineer and an executive in the aerospace industry. After college, he lived and worked most of his life in the Los Angeles, California, area, moving up here to Ashland after retiring. He was married and adopted and raised two children and had two grandchildren. Although staunchly conservative and Republican, he was intelligent, trustworthy, and fun. I’ll miss him.
I read the NYT’s coverage of a 2026 Trump rally. They’re heavy with promise and rituals: attack the Democrats, maybe throw in a commie scare. Lie about multiple things. Donald Trump will use profanity — his fans love it when he uses profanity, because he’s telling it like it is, isn’t he? Trump sometimes claims prices are way down, which probably surprises anyone who regularly shops.
At many stops this year, Trump is begging people to support AI and data center construction. It’s the primary commercial construction now underway. He might claim the US already won against Iran, or he might threaten Iran with more bombing.
What is so sad is that after the many lies Donald Trump has made, and after all the promises that Donald Trump has broken, his brand of chaos, hatred, and bigotry still serve a portion of the Republican party.
Today’s music is by Incubus. The 2011 song, “Promises, Promises” did not come from reading the news. It came instead while listening to my mother talk about the inherent promises made — work hard, save your money, buy a house, raise a familiar — all that American dream debris, will bring you happy closure when you pass away. Mom relates that she and her gang of assisted living friends refer to their new home as jail — three hots and a cot.
I hope you live up to the promises you make, and that others fulfill the promises they make to you.
I also hope that promise and swear to Vote Blue in November, 2026.
