Not That
I’m not that old when you look at the seas
not that young when you look at me
I know I’m male, maybe five on a scale
but I don’t know what that means
I’m not that white when you look at snow
not that dark when you look at me
not that dumb when you see a rock
not that smart when you talk to me
I’m not that bright when you look at the sun
not that companionable when you’re looking for fun
not that simple when you add one and one
not that easy when you take away one
not that worldly in the sum of my parts
not that able, strong, or smart
not that forgiving in what I’ve seen and heard
not that judgmental in the lessons learned
The H.S. Football Dream
I dreamed I was a teenager. It was bright and sunny outside, and I was inside a well-lit building. I learned that my high school football team was short of players. Coach Thomas came to me and asked if I’d play. I’d quit the team the year before, after an accident.
Pleased, I quickly agreed. He gave me some instructions. A game was starting soon. I needed to get there fast. “Don’t let me down,” he said, in a joking but serious style.
I raced to prepare. People were giving me things. It took longer than expected to get ready. A player – a real-life buddy from high school – came in. “Coach Thomas sent me in to see what’s going on. You need to get out there.”
I looked out a window. From there, I could see and hear things happening. Part of that was Coach Thomas talking to the ref, who was warning Thomas, “You need to field a team.” Coach Thomas was irritated and impatient as he asked for more time, insisting, “He’s coming, he’s coming. I need him.”
“I’m hurrying, I’m hurrying,” I told the player. He left.
I don’t know what I needed to get. It seemed like that’s an extension of confusion I felt in the dream. Finally, I was out there, with the team, and in the line-up, nervous and uncertain. I had a piece of paper with instructions in my hand. The ref made me give that up. A player beside me, Daryl, told me he’d help me know what to do. A whistle blew as I jumped offsides. I wasn’t pleased with how it was going. I lined up again in a different position. The game commenced without any significant highlights, except players would suggest things to me. I’d do those things, and my confidence grew.
That’s how the dream entailed. I took three lessons from it.
- Don’t sweat the mistakes. You’re going to make them but you can overcome them.
- You have more to learn.
- Others will help.
A very positive dream to remember.
Michael Seidel, writer 