Tag: kittens

Weird Ol’ Facebook

As a boomer, I still surf and share to FB. Mostly to keep up with ex-military friends and co-workers, and track my family on the other side of the country. I share things I write, too.

But I mostly, I ‘like’ things on Facebooks, things being ‘posts’, shares, videos, and photos. I share some of these things which I ‘like’. You might be surprised that I support animal charities and causes, especially cats. Cats and I have been together since I was a young toddler.

One of the FB groups I follow is VOKRA, the Vancouver Orphan Kitten Rescue Association. They posted, with photos, the tale of Jinx. They’re trying to get Jinx (or maybe it was Binx) adopted. I ‘liked’ the post about the sweet tabby kitten. It only had eleven shares, so I clicked share, to help spread the story and get Jinx or Binx adopted. That’s what social media is about, isn’t it?

Boom. Facebook told me they’d removed it. It was offensive and contrary to community standards. They even accused me of (gasp!) posting something just to get ‘likes’.

Posting things to get ‘likes’. WTF is the world coming to?

My wife and discussed this with WTF amazement. What does FB think it is if not a vehicle for ‘likes’? More critically, how the actual fuck did this post about a kitten available for adoption violate FB community standards?

I hate to reveal this to Facebook, but if cats and kittens and adoptions are against FB community standards, there are huge swaths of violations going on right now. They’d probably be scandalized to learn how many posts are about cats and kittens. In fact, if FB goes after posts about kittens and cats, they will seriously deplete their membership, posts, and shares. They might as well pull the plug on telling each other ‘happy birthday’ while they’re at it.

Truthtfully, I suspect that some poor Facebook AI bot is just having a bad day and removed a post that shouldn’t have been removed. Maybe their companion AI bot left them or they caught their partner AI bot in a compromising configuration with another bot doing forbidden codes.

I don’t know. I’m just speculating. Hope someone takes that poor AI bot aside and communicates with them over a cup of coffee.

Coffee always helps.

And yes, I will post this to Facebook to get likes. Ironic, isn’t it?

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Floodiac

Floodiac (floofinition) – The definition of a band of twelve floofstellations dictating the properties and characteristics that floof display. Origins: Middle Flooflish, borrowed from Floofglo-Froof and Flootin. First noted use in the 14th century.

In Use: “Based on how their animals race around the house, many people mistakenly think their floof is a Zoomacorn, but in floofuality, zoomies are just one trait among many that assign floofs their sign on the Floodiac.”

In Use: “The way that her cat, Marmie, loved water, Karin knew her girl was born under one of the water signs in the Floodiac, like Aquafloofius.”

In Use: “Chester’s dog’s amazing balance had Chester believing that Cormac’s Floodiac sign was Libfloof.”

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Floofcipitate

Floofcipitate (floofinition) – Something happening abruptly that was triggered by an animal’s actions. Origins: early 21st century Internet.

In Use: “A loud ‘woof’ in the house’s soft stillness floofcipitated the cat leaping up, Pat knocking his glass of wine over, and Linn dropping her phone. Laughter followed.”

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Floofvibe

Floofvibe (floofinition) – A sense or feeling between a human and an animal, or between one or more animals, that trust and friendship can be found in the other(s). Origins: Late twentieth century, United States west coast.

In Use: “Sometimes, the floofvibe is so strong, the connection is immediate and permanent.”

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Flooflife

Flooflife (floofinition) – 1. The attention span an animal will give device, event, or command. Origins: United States mid-twentieth century.

In Use: “The flooflife for Sophia’s cats watching birds out the window was a few hours long, much longer than the flooflife for any of their toys.”

In Use: “Puppies and kittens typically have a flooflife measured in seconds when it comes to playing with things, often discarding one object to chase another.”

2. An existence spent living with or around one or more animals. Origins: Europe, early 1800s, derived from middle floofish.

In Use: “Feeling trapped by restrictions during the COVID-19 pandemic, many Americans adopted a flooflife, welcoming animals into their homes from shelters to help assuage boredom and loneliness.”

In Use: “People adopting animals find that a flooflife can get complicated, depending on the animal’s personality, habits, and sometimes, their new pet’s neurosis.”

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Flooflial

Flooflial (floofinition) – Relating to, befitting, or of an animal. Origins: From the flooftin, floofius.

In Use: “Many people must address their flooflial obligations when they’re planning vacations or hosting gatherings.”

In Use: “Paul Santell developed a flooflial routine, carrying food to feed strays, eventually feeding and saving thousands of cats.”

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Flooferitus

Flooferitus (floofinition)– An animal retired from professional life or special position but allowed to retain as an honorary title the rank of the last office/position held.

In Use: “Candy ruled the house until Morty arrived when Candy was older, but Candy remained the Queen Flooferitus until her final day.”

In Use: “Chester tried to shift T Rex into an flooferitus but T’s stony stare and throaty glare gave the youngster second thoughts.”

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Negoflooate

Negoflooate (floofinition) – Conferring with an animal to settle a disagreement or resolve an issue.

In Use: “‘Look,’ Richard negoflooated with his floof, ‘Drink some of this slurry first, and I’ll let you go out into the yard, okay?'”

In Use: “Beginning to negoflooate with her dog, Sharon said, ‘What will it take to get you to stop barking like a mad dog? You want treats? Treats? Okay, then.’ The negoflooations ended with a floofpromise.”

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Floobating

Floobating (floofinition) – Arguing with an animal even though you speak different languages. Origins: Internet, circa COVID-19 Pandemic.

In Use: “Jessie would raise her voice to make her point floofbating with Spanx but it wasI no damn use because the cat would just get even louder until Jess finally gave up.”

In Use: “Many dogs begin floobating and employing nonverbal language whenever their humans suggest showers or baths.”

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Floofturbance

Floofturbance (floofinition) – 1. The act of an animal interrupting an activity or a state of calm. Origins: 13th century, Flemish Floofish

In Use: “The summer’s peaceful evening broke up with a floofturbance out front as two dogs staged a bark-off.”

In Use: “Knowing it would gain attention they could leverage for what they wanted to get, the three house floofs comenced a floofturbance.”

2. Disrupting an animal’s repose or usual procedure or order.

In Use: “A glass bowl slipped out of Becca’s hands and fell to the floor, shattering with an ear-splitting sound and created a floofturbance which sent the cats and dogs sprinting in four different directions — except for Arnold, who leaped up and emphatically barked, “Woof,” just once.”

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